how do you get your other half to be a mse?

danmar_2

I have been looking at this website for months now and changing various small things in my life to save maoney but my partner (41) is very much set in his ways we are on british gas for both gas and elec and we pay by prepayment meter so basiclly are paying a fortune that we dont have to but no matter how many times i try to get him to change suppliers he wont-he thinks if you pay less u dont get as good a service!!he also spends £25 a wk just getting home from the pub- he HAS to go every night after work! We rent our house but he also owns a house with his sister which she lives in and im sure they pay too much for their morgage aswell!!! i really think im banging my head against a brickwall trying to get him to change his ways without success any tips would help PLEASE

dumpy

You just can't force them I'm afraid...... (and boy I've tried....)

What I did was introduce things slowly and enthusiastically whilst keeping a positive slant on things. So rather than " you wasted £x on rubbish" I say "I saved £10 at the supermarket".

I could (and did) introduce menu planning and buying only from a list in the supermarket. Last week my weekly shop cost £21, OH was looking in the trolley and saying "that doesn't look enough" but it was, and we ate well for the week. OS board is good for this, I just wrote next weeks menu and shopping list and used the "what are you having for this week meals" to get some new ideas for us.

Change what you can ie if you are in charge of shopping change that, no point worrying about stuff you can't change at the moment. And nagging just makes them go the other way.

Then when you have saved loads of money talk about what you have saved and what you are going to do with it. It might grab his interest.


Oh and if you find the magic answer to how to change them let us know as there are a few of us on her who are dragging our OHs with us!

ailuro2

if he's off to the pub every night,then save up the same amount and use it to really spoil yoursefl- a weekend at a spa, for starters?

Then when he's whingeing about not getting to go with you,remind him he weed it all down the drain already:mad: :beer:

victory

my finances took a turn for the better when I and only I handled them, he is basically given if you will-pocket money, he complained greatly at first but it got us out of the red and now he appreciates the effort we had to put into it to get us back on track

sturgeon62

I let him think he thought of the idea in the first place!! Just plant a few seeds and watch them grow, feed regulary.

Ruby_Pudding

sturgeon62 wrote:

I let him think he thought of the idea in the first place!! Just plant a few seeds and watch them grow, feed regulary.

Yep I do this too - hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes though when he starts taking credit for the savings, positive changes etc :rolleyes:

Queenie

Ruby_Pudding wrote:

Yep I do this too - hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes though when he starts taking credit for the savings, positive changes etc :rolleyes:

Ah, but that's the point in the conversation where you point out his greatest success in life ...








... was choosing *you*!

Ruby_Pudding

Queenie wrote:

Ah, but that's the point in the conversation where you point out his greatest success in life ...


... was choosing *you*!

Haha how true Queenie

Queenie

danmar wrote:

I have been looking at this website for months now and changing various small things in my life to save maoney but my partner (41) is very much set in his ways we are on british gas for both gas and elec and we pay by prepayment meter so basiclly are paying a fortune that we dont have to but no matter how many times i try to get him to change suppliers he wont-he thinks if you pay less u dont get as good a service!!he also spends £25 a wk just getting home from the pub- he HAS to go every night after work! We rent our house but he also owns a house with his sister which she lives in and im sure they pay too much for their morgage aswell!!! i really think im banging my head against a brickwall trying to get him to change his ways without success any tips would help PLEASE

First, get him reading MSE ... or, buy The Money Diet for his Christmas Stocking

Second, go to some comparison sites and print off the facts and figures. Men like logic and facts

Third, get his sister a copy of the book for her stocking, she can then make up her own mind if she is paying too much with him for their mortgage.

Fourth, yes, you are saving some money and would clearly like to save more, but ... why? Are you both singing from the same song sheet? If it's to repay debts faster, then you both need to have this as a joint goal. If it's to save up for something you both would like/need/desire, then you both have to be focussed on that goal. If you don't already have a joint goal, you need one

Fifth, accept the things you can't change (in him) and gently work on the things you can.

Best of luck, very little will change overnight, but time and patience can be your allies.

VickyA_2

At first it was just me who was the MSE. It's taken me a couple of years to sort him out, but we're gradually saving more and more so that we can buy a house sometime soon - and put down a decent deposit.

His biggest "victory" (note, his not mine :rolleyes:) was when my best friend's husband was so impressed that their weekly shop was "only £60 per week". DH said "oh, ours (:rolleyes:) is £25 - £30 per week and that includes cleaning stuff and bits for a packed lunch".

I'm still trying to win him round on the car insurance front, but it's lower than it has been................

Just chip away slowly at him......

Stompa

I don't - I gave up trying long ago!