Would you send your child to a private school?

**curlywurly**

Kerry, you know you are doing the right thing. I had nearly the same experience as you. Luckily I pulled myself together and I got a load of O Levels, but I was in a system which encourages average-ness. I had 8 good O Levels (which was a good amount in those days), but university was not mentioned to me. I didn't go until I was 21. What a private education gives you is so much more than a mittful of A*s. I'd pay double the fees (but I wouldn't tell the school that LOL). It gives you hope, optimism and most of all confidence. The state school I went to, and the state schools around here (which BTW are all "excellent") are more than content with average and do not have the time/resource/motive to understand each child and nurture that child AS AN INDIVIDUAL, whether that child has a particular skill, a peculiarity, or a quirk. If your child is bright they will likely do OK in a state school, as did I (and presumably you). So if you want OK, then go for it. If you want more, then pay for it. That's the long and the short of it.

RazWaz

I went to a private school for the first 5 years of my education and it was awful. They refused to accept the fact that me being disabled was anything other than me 'being awkward and wanting attention' and once I switched to a normal school my grades shot right up.

Simply paying doesn't mean the quality will be higher.

Lunar_Eclipse

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

Hi All,

I wanted to get some opinions, if you could afford it even though you would need to live a fairly frugal lifestyle would you send your child to a private / fee paying school?

Thanks

The short answer is yes. If you believe the best school for your child is a private one and you can afford it, then it would make no difference to me whether that school was a fee paying one or not and I would do it.

There are lots of benefits to a private education (typically, but NOT exclusively: breath of experience, facilities, smaller class sizes, exam results, expectations) and a few to a state one (local friends, short commute, free, possibly comparable exam results). Can you tell we're going through a decision making quest ourselves?

Ultimately though, this is often a political question.

I would look at all your options though. Having looked at a lot of senior schools in both the private and state sector, my favourite school, for my children, was a mixed Grammar school.

MrsE_2

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

Hi All,

I wanted to get some opinions, if you could afford it even though you would need to live a fairly frugal lifestyle would you send your child to a private / fee paying school?

Thanks

I thought you were asking from a moral POV & I would say yes without doubt.
But if it means you living very frugally in order to do so then think twice.
School is all about fitting in & will your child feel different if they don't holiday in the same places & have the same hobbies & outside school life style.

Lunar_Eclipse

**curlywurly** wrote: »

So if you want OK, then go for it. If you want more, then pay for it. That's the long and the short of it.

I agree. But you need to choose carefully to ensure you do in fact get "more" and that it is more of what you'd like for the child in question.

Also really liked Emsywool's reply about people falling into 3 categories.

Raggs_2

Afraid I've not read most of the replies.

I went to a fantastic state primary school, where I was advanced a year. The next state school wouldn't allow me to advance a year there, but fortunately for that first year I was brought in extra work by my teachers, and so wasn't limited, however it wasn't going to be a permenant thing. I applied for a scholarship position at my local private school, sat the exams, and got a small scholarship. My parents had to cut back significantly (no more holidays abroad, we had a yearly weekend in Bournemouth). But I really appreciated it.

Whilst the schools in my local area weren't bad, they weren't able to support me in the way needed, the private school could. I don't know if I'd have achieved as highly in state schooling, it's impossible to know. But personally, I feel if the state schools in your area are good, then thats a fine option (I really liked the idea of hiring a private tutor to help too), but if they are limited, or are limiting the childs potential, go with the private.

Accountant_Kerry

if we send her to private school we will still be able to afford the usual things we just won't be able to save a huge amount, i think unless i can get her into an outstanding state school i will send her to an appropriate private school from reception onwards. thanks all for your responses.

LJM

i think it all depends if i didnt think my children were getting the best standard education then maybe it would be an option, though we are happy with the school my girls are at, it has its problems but so does every school be it state or private

emsywoo123

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I agree. But you need to choose carefully to ensure you do in fact get "more" and that it is more of what you'd like for the child in question.

Also really liked Emsywool's reply about people falling into 3 categories.

Aah thanks no one ever really likes my replies :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

SarahLou

Interesting thread with some interesting ideas.

I've given extensive thought to what would be best for our daughter. I deeply feel that private would be best for her for secondary school (as the ones round here aren't brilliant, shall we say). The infant school down the road from us is supposedly pretty good so I've recently put that down as our first choice but I worry that she won't get in for whatever reason (due to start Reception next September). If she doesn't, I will worry about our second and third choices (which I spent ages over choosing - they were basically the next best two).

I know its a long while off her being the age to start secondary school but I'm already collecting prospectuses, going to open days, etc. In an ideal world I would love to send her to private school (not boarding though - theres plenty of private schools in a driveable distance, don't like the idea of boarding). Equally though, if she attends our local infant school, I will then worry about taking her out to a different school with children she wouldn't know.

Oh its a difficult one.

I wish we could afford to send her from Reception onwards but we simply can't. And although it gets more and more expensive as they get older, I feel that there really is not much other option unless we can afford to move house to a new catchment area (again, not likely because of finances).

I went to a state comprehensive and was bright and enthusiastic. I was essnetially bullied because of this. The teachers weren't a huge help (one or two were, most couldn't care less and spent time on the disruptive class members). And, to be fair, my school was a good one - not like those round where we live - so I dread to think what they're like here!

A friend went through her teacher training and spent some of her time in our nearest secondary and said the teachers walk around in pairs as they're scared to be alone and they really don't give a damn. I will not forget her words - "SERIOUSLY, don't send her there, PLEASE!" - scary.

Equally, I know three people who were educated privately. One is "thick" and didn't excell at all (shes still dossing about with no career plans whatsoever at the age of 25, got 3 GCSE passes to her name and thats it, very much was into the boys from a very young age, got into the wrong crowds outside of school, etc, etc, she talks very posh though :rotfl:) - the other two, to be fair, are more what I'd expect from private education - well spoken, intelligent, happy and confident young people with lots of goals and plans for life.