Would you send your child to a private school?

Accountant_Kerry

Hi All,

I wanted to get some opinions, if you could afford it even though you would need to live a fairly frugal lifestyle would you send your child to a private / fee paying school?

Thanks

zcrat41

Hi,

For me it would be dependent on where I lived. I went to a private Girls school and had a fantastic education and grounding. Knowing what our local state schools are like there is no way I'd have ended up doing what I'm doing if I'd have gone there.

I'd love to send my own kids to private school one day but if there were fab state schools nearby I would consider them.

I have to admit, part of it would be a personal thing - I think the foundation of a good education involves learning the classics (or at least an opportunity to) which very few state schools offer these days. But that's my personal bias!

sassyblue

Not unless the local catchment area schools were absolutely rubbish and even then l'd try to move into an area where they were good first.

JC9297

I think it depends on several factors: what you consider frugal, the child (or children) in question, state schools available to you, what you are hoping to gain by choosing private etc. My 13 year old son attends a local comprehensive rated outstanding and which has excellent results, he has stated that even if we won the lottery he wouldn't want to leave. However if we weren't lucky enough to live in the catchment area of such a good school things might be different. To be honest I think quite a lot of parents of kids at his school could easily afford to go private, but as it is they get a good education (not just academically) for free, so can just afford more holidays etc.!

GobbledyGook

It depends on lots of factors. My ex husband and his brother went to private school, his parents worked really hard to afford it, but they both got bullied terribly. His parents could afford the school (just), but they couldn't afford all the extras (extra tuitons, brand new uniform every year, expensive trips etc) and the boys really stood out amongst their peers.

I went to the worst rated school in our town by account of living in the "worst" area, but my exam results were much better than theirs.

I strongly believe that the ethos of the school is much more important than the league tables. The school my daughter's attend isn't the best school in town, but my eldest is thriving and the youngest has settled fabulously. The best school felt very sterile to me and it's all about results, results, results and to me there should be more to a school than that.

Fee paying/Private doesn't necessarily equate better imo.

SkintGypsy

I was going to say almost exactly the same thing gobbledygook, but then the baby was sick on me and I gave up.

vicshippers

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Fee paying/Private doesn't necessarily equate better imo.

Couldn't agree more, and would add that support at home counts for a lot. I went to a school with appalling results but thanks to support from my parents, I got great results and learnt a lot of life lessons along the way.

clearingout

my eldest child spent his reception year in a private school. It was carefully chosen and values and policies reflected those of ourselves and how we view our parenting. Sadly, divorce has meant that he has had to go into the state system - but I can't complain about how it's going for him overall. However, I have next to no contact with the teacher (in the private school, we had a chat, albeit briefy, every day) and he is not heard read every day, doesn't have his books changed at the same frequency etc. etc. but all that comes with being in a class which is double the size. I also feel at parent's evenings that the teacher doesn't really know him -he's just a good boy amongst many others rather than a small person with a personality, friendships and expectations like the rest of us.

When you say 'frugal', how frugal do you mean? what happens if you have another child? what happens if your relationship breaks down (and dont' say it won't because if mine can, yours can!), is your work affected by the current recession and how likely will you be to keep your job in the long term etc. etc. Whilst nothing in life is certain, if you are going to have to make serious sacrifices to be able to afford it, you won't be able to sustain it during difficult times.

the other 'food for thought' is that whilst a private education will not guarentee your child succeeds in exams or makes them a nice person, it will bring him into contact with contacts (if you see what I mean)....personally, I find life is often about not what you know, but who you know....

Accountant_Kerry

some very interesting replies, thanks for taking the time. :-)

I currently live in a catchment area of 1 good secondary school, however competition is fierce. Infant and junios school isnt a problem but my worry is that if she goes to a state infant and junior school and then doesn't get into the good state school she may be too late to get into the good fee paying school (entrance exams etc)?

I could afford this, my line of work in the area i live is secure and I am the main earner so even if my relationship broke down it wouldn;t be a problem. If i want her to go to the state school i will need to pay £100k more for a house to be in the catchment area, where as i could get a nicer house but not in a good catchment area (but an area I would rather live) and her go to a fee paying school....hmm

kegg_2

We have some very good and very bad state schools in our area but we also have some outstanding private schools.

If we had the funds then i would opt for the private school but alas that will never be an option.

On a seperate issue my oldest son is in a sen school that is truely outstanding and probably costs the state alot more than i would pay for a private school for my younger son.

Hermia

It would depend on lots of factors. Obviously the schools in the area. Not all state schools are grotty and not all private schools are great. I have friends who went to some rubbish private schools. One friend actually got a job teaching in a private school after nearly having a nervous breakdown teaching in an inner city comprehensive. He lasted about 6 months before returning to the comp! He said the private school children were very, "yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir. He would try to encourage the kids to have debates and question things, but they had had all the spirit knocked out of them by this highly disciplined school. He was desperate to get back to lively, questioning kids.

I think some kids definitely need a private school. My friend's daughter is hugely bright. She started in a state school, but she is so far ahead of the rest of the class that she is getting bored. She needs a school that will challenge her and will teach a wide range of subjects. A friend of mine went to this fabulous and extremely expensive school which had a sort of liberal arts focus. It was amazing how many subjects they studied that state school kids never find out about. The list of famous ex-pupils from this school is just huge.