JSA stopped, think of suicide averyday

Kimitatsu

MooB wrote: »

I have not gone to CAB or anything. I just came here for advice. I've already applied for ESA now I think they just want to see a Dr sick note at this point. Back in 2009 (I think), I ended up getting interviewed by social services. Asking a lot of questions all to do with depression and suicide. Soon after that I saw a NHS psychiatrist or counsellor. Felt like a complete waste of time and after several appointments I stopped going. But my point is I doubt they will now give me a full mental health assessment if I've already had one and it didn't go anywhere would they?

Two years is a long time with any mental illness. You are stuck in the pit of gloom and despair at the moment so you need to get some support - it is obvious that you cannot do this by yourself.

Contact the CAB and get them to make an appointment for you to see the welfare benefits adviser as soon as possible. Then go and see your doctor and book a long appointment and ask them for a full mental health assessment - they dont have to accept it but they DO have to refer you, and any doctor will ask why you need one, which will give you the opportunity to talk about your problems.

The internet is a fantastic wealth of knowledge but it is only any good if applied to the real world, and none of us on here can give you any medical advice, so you need to see a professional.

cattie

Have you got a branch of MIND anywhere near you? They are marvelous in giving help & advice on benefits for people with mental health issue's & general support to help you cope & perhaps point you in the right direction to get the right medical support you need.

hobbledehoy.

MooB wrote: »

I have not gone to CAB or anything. I just came here for advice. I've already applied for ESA now I think they just want to see a Dr sick note at this point. Back in 2009 (I think), I ended up getting interviewed by social services. Asking a lot of questions all to do with depression and suicide. Soon after that I saw a NHS psychiatrist or counsellor. Felt like a complete waste of time and after several appointments I stopped going. But my point is I doubt they will now give me a full mental health assessment if I've already had one and it didn't go anywhere would they?

Hello
What you are experiencing, thoughts, and anxiety is not new. For anybody that hasn't been through it, with respect, wouldn't really know how it feels.
What you have done (or not done) in the past, is again very common.

The hardest bit is the bit about asking for help. Both from the GP and Welfare Rights.

You have to go through it to access the help you need. I would suggest that either mum or dad or friend goes with you when you see anybody. You might not like it but what I can say from previous experience is that nothing will change or improve until you take that step, but the good thing is that notwithstanding your past, they will start from the beginning. The GP will have seen and experienced all of this before.
Good luck

MooB

I'm not sure what to do now. In these sort of situations in the past, I would not be able to make a decision, just see how it unfolds with no control from me. It's hard to explain why.

I understand what you are saying but taking mum or dad with me for example... that's just impossible I'll never be able to do that. Having to speak to more people like at CAB or MIND and go through it all with them... I would want to avoid that. In fact I think I am dreading doing that and would avoid it unless I really had no choice.

So if I just went to speak to my GP only, would that be OK or am I missing some advantage in going to other people first? Because at the moment I see the latter as dragging it out with the possibility of making things feel much worse. I have already had stress levels and despair go well above my maximum possible or tolerable level. All I want to do now is shut off and not deal with it. That's how I cope.

Kimitatsu

MooB I realise that depression is hard to deal with, I have lived with two depressives in my life and so I do understand.

BUT you have to make the first step and you have to access support and until you make the first step and reach out to someone who can help then you will get no further. None of them have to be first, you can see your GP and MIND and the CAB all in one week if you choose.

Unfortunately for you, whilst we can all direct you to people who can help, posting on an internet forum is no substitute for accessing help in the real world. You need to seek help either from an agency who can help or your GP.

Braintree

I think in all honesty seeing your GP should be fine for now and the first 13 weeks of your ESA claim but after that it may get tougher. Be aware that you may have to speak to other people such as CAB or MIND if your claim is rejected and you get moved to JSA again. Do you have anyone that can go with you when you get assessed for ESA claim? I really wouldn't recommend going alone, especially if claiming for mental, as opposed to physical illness.

It may not be easy and this is one of the reasons I hate the current system. I saw my mum descend into a suicidal state when they stopped her ESA claim. It knocked her back financially and increased her paranoia and mental illness so she was too weak to fight it until her doctor got her back on ESA because the whole system had made her more ill.

Crucially seeing your doctor shouldn't simply be about the ESA claim, that is just a way of surviving financially but it should be the beginning of a long term plan of feeling well enough to work.

Best of luck.

ladyrider260

MooB.........I've been there. There is no magic cure or fairy who can wave a wand and sort your life out. Only YOU can help yourself and you need to start doing that by turning up to appointments with people who can help you, nobody can do it for you. The social won't care, you're just another person who they see as pulling a fast one so you need to get the right support and evidence to assure you get the correct benefits.
I know it's tough and painful going over things with counsellers but it does get better, you HAVE to stick with it. There is so much more to life. See this time as a starting point, a clean slate.

I'm sorry if some of this sounds harsh but these are bare facts I'm afraid. We can give you all the sympathy in the World but that won't help in the long term. You need to get out there and start re-building your life.

I wish you all the best.

red_devil

just a question how easy is it to go from jsa to esa is one claim cancelled, while you wait for the other answer to come through! can you be left without benefit?

MooB

I made appointment to see GP but it's going to be an unusually long wait. Not going to be this week or next but the week after that. So I have that time to come up with something to say. I don't even know how I'm going to start.

Braintree wrote: »

Crucially seeing your doctor shouldn't simply be about the ESA claim, that is just a way of surviving financially but it should be the beginning of a long term plan of feeling well enough to work.

I'm basically worthless and unemployable. I know I could have a job in theory but no one is going to want to employ me. I used to have a job once for 2 weeks. After they found out more information about me, they fired me on the spot despite me doing my job well and they being happy with me. I really don't want to go into details but I use all these thing as evidence to explain how I'm even worth less than nothing. No one wants me around and if I try and put that to the test again and it doesn't work out I'm in real trouble. Which could be why I don't apply for any more jobs.

If I had already moved out I would be literally be in hospital or dead from either starvation or a suicide attempt by now. I see that as being more likely than me getting a job.

No I really don't have anyone to go with if I get assessed for ESA. If I can't go to an ESA assessment it would be because of a previous bad experience or similar experience. It's not like I'm too scared to leave the house. So I don't know what to do about that. Probably have no choice and just go by myself.

karen24_2

MooB you need to tell the doctor you need an urgent appointment. If the receptionist tries to fob you off reiterate that it's urgent, and if that doesn't help mention that you feel suicidal if necessary. I guarantee they'll have you in very quickly. I've had similar feelings of despair in the past so I understand how difficult it is to even motivate yourself out of bed in a morning, never mind facing a dr or advisor at MIND etc. I can assure you though that once you get some of the help you need things will seem a lot better.