The Ultimate Incentive to get debt free… again. Dinah & NIM go head to head!

Birdie85

Nice to hear from you Dippy! Sorry to hear about the work woes, hope you manage to find something full time and/or well paid!

I made the Carnation caramel chocolate brownies last night.... mmmmmmmm. I couldn't figure out if they were meant to be really gooey due to the caramel or if they hadn't cooked properly, when OH came home at 10 they were in the oven for the 2nd time! They seem to have set OK now though, and the nibble (or 9) I had last night tasted reallllllly good! I've never had the caramel in a can before, I could have just eaten that on it's own! :drool:

zigmeister

Last night, completely out of the blue, OH was like 'I don't know what I want etc' and we have decided to split.

I am completely devastated. He's not sure whether he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, and he's scared to move out (with me?)

I feel so lonely and lost. The only thing that gave me a glimmer of hope was how amazing you've done Tete.

I feel so sick and I have really bad toothache in every tooth if that makes sense. I miss him.

N.I.M

Oh god Zig, you ok? Any idea whats brought it on?

zigmeister

No I'm not ok tbh! I love him so much and thought we had everything planned out.

I live with my Nan and they're exchanging contracts this week and moving out this month which has pushed us to look at living together in September/October so I think he's just gotten cold feet. Or maybe it has made him revaluate everything and he's realised he doesn't love me anymore. In which case, I'm so grateful he's said it now rather than doing it when we're already living together.

But I feel gutted, absolutely devastated.

Birdie85

Oh no Zig, I'm so sorry.

Maybe he just needs some time to sort his head out, it can be scary to move in with someone so maybe he's just panicking a little?

I don't think there's anything we can do to help you feel physically better today, just look after yourself and stay in your PJs all day if needs be xxxx

Tete_en_l'Air

zigmeister wrote: »

I feel so lonely and lost. The only thing that gave me a glimmer of hope was how amazing you've done Tete.

Hi Zig, not sure if you've got my FB message yet but if you have you'll know that's not the case at all! I'm just trying to a brave face on things and get out and about so that at least in the future I don't have to look back on this time and regret moping about - at least I'm doing something. But it's all sort of empty really

zigmeister wrote: »

In which case, I'm so grateful he's said it now rather than doing it when we're already living together.

Yeah that was pretty !!!!!! about my breakup - I'd been looking forward to getting our own place for so long and three months later I was packing my stuff back up and back into my bedroom - would have been so much better not to have left in the first place. I could just imagine all the neighbours thinking "well that didn't last long, you'd think they'd be sure before they moved in together" - when I WAS sure!

What did annoy me though was people saying, "oh well better to happen now than with kids involved", I was thinking yeah, I'll probably never have kids now! I envied all the people with their messy breakups with kids involved. That's not the case for you of course, you're young and virile not a dried up old hag like me!

Are you feeling any better/different this morning? Have you spoken to him since last night?




And, bit OT, but can I just say while I'm here - was too busy to comment yesterday, but someone (I forget who sorry!) asks for a simple recipe and Cinny you give them Millionaire's Shortbread!!! That's the hardest thing ever!! :eek:

Dinah93

I'm so, so sorry to hear that Zig. Hope you've got some friends/family who can come round and just distract you. You've been together a good while haven't you, did he give any idea of why things have changed or is he just as confused as to what he feels? At least if you can talk and act with dignity then you'll look back fondly if thats what it comes to. We're all here for you if you want to just rant or ramble or just use us as a sounding board if thats what you want x

Flower08

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

And, bit OT, but can I just say while I'm here - was too busy to comment yesterday, but someone (I forget who sorry!) asks for a simple recipe and Cinny you give them Millionaire's Shortbread!!! That's the hardest thing ever!! :eek:

Gulp...dont say that!! I am a disaster in the kitchen, I hope I dont mess it up!
OHs birthday tomorrow, going to do my attempt while he is at work.

Zig - I am so sorry, dont really know what to say we're all here to talk/moan/cry if you want to. I hope you have lots of family and friends around you xx

Birdie85

Tete, you are not a dried up old hag! I love you for getting out there and not wasting this year, even though my heart breaks for the reasons behind it. :kisses3:

Completely agree with the others that you can ramble all you like and we'll send you hugs and love from all over the country :heartpuls

I'm sure you'll do fine with the millionaires shortbread Flower, just give yourself loads of time to do it if you're like me, a 'quick' recipe usually takes me about 2-3 hours!

zigmeister

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Hi Zig, not sure if you've got my FB message yet but if you have you'll know that's not the case at all! I'm just trying to a brave face on things and get out and about so that at least in the future I don't have to look back on this time and regret moping about - at least I'm doing something. But it's all sort of empty really

Oh right! Well that kind of dashes my hopes of doing loads of stuff to help me through it. But I like your thinking.

That's not the case for you of course, you're young and virile not a dried up old hag like me!

You're not a dried up hag at all! It's weird, I'm only 22 but I feel so much older. I think it's because all I ever wanted was a family and home with him and now it's gone.

Are you feeling any better/different this morning? Have you spoken to him since last night?

Spoken to him briefly about Saturday (we need to keep up an appearance for a little while) and he said did I want to meet up early to talk but I said no cuz he knows how I feel and it's down to him to figure out what he wants. He said he understands. I forwarded him a Groupon restaurant voucher we bought to use (it expires tonight) and he said he's finding it hard at the mo and doesn't want to go somewhere happy.

I'm really tearful. Keep crying randomly. Everything reminds me of him and I can't find a thought to distract me that doesn't have a link to him. It's frustrating.

Dinah93 wrote: »

You've been together a good while haven't you, did he give any idea of why things have changed or is he just as confused as to what he feels? At least if you can talk and act with dignity then you'll look back fondly if thats what it comes to.

6 years next month. He's really really confused and finding it hard to put into words how he feels. I'm just hoping that he takes time to think and realises he wants to be with me. I don't think it'll happen but I so hope it does.

That's what I said last night, better to end it now and be on good terms than on bad terms when we're living together. I'm trying to do what's best/right when all I wanna do is beg him not to leave me.

Thank you all for your kind words though xx