So what does your husband stick in the marmalade each morning?

LisaLou1982

LOL this thread has me in stitches!!!

Crumbs in the jam, butter or anything else are a big NO NO!!! Wipe the knife clean for crying out loud!!!

Oh and slightly OT but my OH never squeezes the toothpaste up so that all of the toothpaste is at the top of the tube and it *REALLY* irritates me!!!!

pattycake

Mr Cake has an unpleasant habit of buttering his toast (no Flora in this house thank you very much) and then putting the excess back into the container. Yuk!

I then make sure the resulting gritty mess is on his sandwiches at lunch time! That'll teach 'im.

Sadly, he has the memory of goldfish so it all happens again the next day.

Artytarty

Mr Tarty is the s as above! Takes too much Flora scrapes it all over thee taost and puts the crumby mess back in the tub.
I've given up compliaing and just make sure I dont use that bit. He likes his toast sold ish so the stuff dosent melt. to obtain the correct temperature he waves the slice about ilike some demented air trafiic controller. I simply look at him and he says.. yes, i know I'm odd.

balletshoes

PhylPho wrote: »

I was going to thank you but there's a marriage at stake here. Plus, as has now become apparent, the economic well-being of the entire United Kingdom. I dunno. Some people don't have any sympathy at all.

I'd have a lot more sympathy with you if you weren't proposing to random non-Mrs PhylPho's at every turn :rotfl:.

Mrs P is right - keep that in mind and I'm sure you'll have loads more happy years of marriage without a trammel in sight .

gratefulforhelp_2

PhylPho wrote: »

By way of explanation: Mrs P and I are about to celebrate 41 years of untrammelled marital bliss. This is due to two reasons:

1) we have never had a trammel, and:

(2) we first met in church where I was a page boy and Mrs P was a child bridesmaid and the vicar was so drunk he married us instead of the couple who were supposed to be hitched.

Anyway. After all these years of marriage, I thought we were getting along reasonably well. But. . . apparently not. Mrs P has lately taken to bedecking the breakfast table with more bloody cutlery than you'd see on Come Dine With Me on Channel 4.

Turns out, the reason for this sudden abundance of Taiwanese Sheffield plate is because Mrs P is fed up of throwing marmalade away, and so is on a moneysaving-in-marriages economy drive.

Why has she been throwing marmalade away?

Apparently, it's because of what I keep sticking in it when I get up.

I take my knife, I scoop out the butter (actually, Probiotic Eternal Life Lo-Fat Flora) and spread it over my toast, and then *with the same knife* get the Dundee, or possibly, Taiwanese, marmalade and spread it on top.

Mrs P now tells me she can't stand it any longer.

For over 40 years she says she has tolerated this. But no more.

So now, in addition to my coffee spoon, now I have a second spoon and two knives by my plate, the second spoon to get a dollup of marmalade, knife number 1 to get a smidgeon of Eternal Life Flora to spread on the toast, and knife number 2 to dip into the marmalade dollup that's landed on my plate (as well as the table) and then layer it atop the Immortal Flora that's atop the toast.

C'mon. Brain surgery's an easier procedure than all this. And the risk of serious misfortune is predictably high: yesterday I unthinkingly used my coffee spoon to get at the marmalade; this morning I inadvertently stirred my coffee with the marmalade spoon.

Mrs P says she's fed up of chucking Dundee's best away because it's covered in breadcrumbs and Live Forever Flora -- I did wonder why we keep buying in bulk from a wholesaler.

And that she's also fed up of my unsophisticated ways -- what, moi? I have moved in sophisticated circles all my life, have never watched Big Brother, and if funds ever permit would willingly take Mrs P for a weekend in Monte Carlo rather than continue to go en vacance in a rented static on a clifftop south of Skegness.

So. . . :

1) Is it really money saving to chuck away jars of perfectly good marmalade just because there are buttery crumbs in it?

2) Is it really money saving to require most of the blasted cutlery drawer to be shoved in the dishwasher every morning?

3) Is what their husbands choose to stick in the marmalade each morning a matter of concern to other wives?

Advice appreciated. I really don't want to have to go to Marriage Guidance over this.

I don't know, but someone give the man a coloumn in a broadsheet at the weekend, he's good:T:T:T

sammyjammy

You need a jam spoon (it works with marmalade as well), it has a little hook on it so that it hangs on the glass edge of the jar ready for your second slice.

I'd have divorced you years ago if you stuck your butter knife in my marmalade. Luckily for everyone that knows me I live alone but when people visit they shudder with fear when it comes to breakfast in fear of being shouted at and lectured(strangely enough the biggest culprits are my siblings and parents who I grew up with, I must have picked my fussiness up after leaving home)

sammyjammy

Here's a little pic http://giverslog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/hostess-gift-jam-spoon.jpg

ailuro2

I know this is a wind up because Marmalade is not made in Dundee anymore...:D

my DH does something similar with the toast, spreads his toast then wipes the excess back into the tub, then leaves the tub out on the worktop even though DD and I always have cereal for breakfast... but it's his only fault, bless him, so I think I'll keep him.;)


To be truly MSE :money: you need to stop having BOTH marmalade and margarine on your toast. It's just plain greedy and there's no need for it - ask anyone on the old style board and they'll tell you the same.

Of course if your wife really loved you she would butter the toast for you, then let you add your own marmalade.:rotfl:

ailuro2

Artytarty wrote: »

Mr Tarty is the s as above! Takes too much Flora scrapes it all over thee taost and puts the crumby mess back in the tub.
I've given up compliaing and just make sure I dont use that bit. He likes his toast sold ish so the stuff dosent melt. to obtain the correct temperature he waves the slice about ilike some demented air trafiic controller. I simply look at him and he says.. yes, i know I'm odd.

My husband may leave crumbs in the toast, but thankfully he doesn't wave his about the kitchen like your husband does.:rotfl: He doesn't double dip either, thank heavens.:)

Faerie

ailuro2 wrote: »

To be truly MSE :money: you need to stop having BOTH marmalade and margarine on your toast. It's just plain greedy and there's no need for it - ask anyone on the old style board and they'll tell you the same.

:T True, and it's just plain wrong! I have either jam OR butter, never both. We have separate mayonnaise now after my OH contaminated too many mayo jars with his stinking tuna, yuck!