So what does your husband stick in the marmalade each morning?

PhylPho

By way of explanation: Mrs P and I are about to celebrate 41 years of untrammelled marital bliss. This is due to two reasons:

1) we have never had a trammel, and:

(2) we first met in church where I was a page boy and Mrs P was a child bridesmaid and the vicar was so drunk he married us instead of the couple who were supposed to be hitched.

Anyway. After all these years of marriage, I thought we were getting along reasonably well. But. . . apparently not. Mrs P has lately taken to bedecking the breakfast table with more bloody cutlery than you'd see on Come Dine With Me on Channel 4.

Turns out, the reason for this sudden abundance of Taiwanese Sheffield plate is because Mrs P is fed up of throwing marmalade away, and so is on a moneysaving-in-marriages economy drive.

Why has she been throwing marmalade away?

Apparently, it's because of what I keep sticking in it when I get up.

I take my knife, I scoop out the butter (actually, Probiotic Eternal Life Lo-Fat Flora) and spread it over my toast, and then *with the same knife* get the Dundee, or possibly, Taiwanese, marmalade and spread it on top.

Mrs P now tells me she can't stand it any longer.

For over 40 years she says she has tolerated this. But no more.

So now, in addition to my coffee spoon, now I have a second spoon and two knives by my plate, the second spoon to get a dollup of marmalade, knife number 1 to get a smidgeon of Eternal Life Flora to spread on the toast, and knife number 2 to dip into the marmalade dollup that's landed on my plate (as well as the table) and then layer it atop the Immortal Flora that's atop the toast.

C'mon. Brain surgery's an easier procedure than all this. And the risk of serious misfortune is predictably high: yesterday I unthinkingly used my coffee spoon to get at the marmalade; this morning I inadvertently stirred my coffee with the marmalade spoon.

Mrs P says she's fed up of chucking Dundee's best away because it's covered in breadcrumbs and Live Forever Flora -- I did wonder why we keep buying in bulk from a wholesaler.

And that she's also fed up of my unsophisticated ways -- what, moi? I have moved in sophisticated circles all my life, have never watched Big Brother, and if funds ever permit would willingly take Mrs P for a weekend in Monte Carlo rather than continue to go en vacance in a rented static on a clifftop south of Skegness.

So. . . :

1) Is it really money saving to chuck away jars of perfectly good marmalade just because there are buttery crumbs in it?

2) Is it really money saving to require most of the blasted cutlery drawer to be shoved in the dishwasher every morning?

3) Is what their husbands choose to stick in the marmalade each morning a matter of concern to other wives?

Advice appreciated. I really don't want to have to go to Marriage Guidance over this.

Tigsteroonie

Have separate jars of marmalade. She can use one jar, with the various items of cutlery to ensure it remains uncontaminated; you can use the second jar and contaminate it with flora to your heart's content!

PhylPho

Ah! Sense! Will you marry me?

Supermom

I really feel for your wife my hubby is also guilty of the same crime and it really ticks me of...

I think she needs a medal for staying married too you for so long.

Stop doing it!!!! It's horrid!!!

sassyblue

I'd rather not say what my hubby sticks in the marmalade each morning - and the arguments we've had over it!!! :rotfl:

PhylPho

Oh.

:o:o:o:o


Oops: this post was directed to Supermom on account of her sympathetic support.

meritaten

I have to say poster that personally I am VERY concerned as to what my husband sticks in the marmalade. fortunately I am not awake when he breakfasts, but, as I have to wash up his coffee mug (which he considerately places in the sink for me) I can categorically state that MY oh doesnt adulterate the marmalade (I dont buy any btw).
I do realise that having to remember to use two different spoons may be a challenge for you (ask your OH to place them in the appropriate jars (or if you are really posh - the sterling silver jam and marmalade bowls), and to put the butter knife NEXT to the butter.
as for crumbs in the marmalade? how on earth do you manage that? next time take as much marmalade as you think you will require then a little extra! you do NOT double dip! the servants will not mind you leaving a glob of marmalade on the plate as they love to lick it off!

PhylPho

sassyblue wrote: »

I'd rather not say what my hubby sticks in the marmalade each morning - and the arguments we've had over it!!! :rotfl:

No I think we might be getting a bit off track here.

Though then again: is it necessary to put it in the dishwasher afterwards?

Tigsteroonie

PhylPho wrote: »

Ah! Sense! Will you marry me?

Thanks for the offer but I don't like marmalade I'm more a Marmite person - and I don't have the same problem as I don't have to share it

KimmyCustard

Or do what they do in hotels and have a little bowl of marmalade, spooned from said jar, parked next to your plate and you can dig around in it with whatever knife you feel like! This way Mrs P will not have dregs of Forever Flora nor toast crumbs in her jar and you will not have to grunt about the amount of cutlery in the dishwasher.

I'm in the wrong job, should be a marriage guidance counsellor......... )

angelicmary85

meritaten wrote: »

I have to wash up his coffee mug (which he considerately places in the sink for me)

I would have divorced him years ago! There's nothing I hate more than dishes in the sink!! They either get left at the side of the sink or you do them yourself!

It makes me really angry!!

As for the marmalade...well, I buy seperate jams as himself leaves crumbs in the jar as I really can't stand it but what's worse is when I find jam in the flora...he's obviously spread on piece of toast then put jam on it and then went back to spread his other piece :mad: