In a mess, deeper and deeper...

BigTrouble_2

Thanks everyone so much for your responses. I will answer the questions in turn.

BigTrouble_2

bluebeary wrote: »

no, its good your getting it out, if something isnt right then i dont think you should continue with the sale, have you spoken to someone else concerned about this as you say 'we' in your post, what do they think, if you have doubts then dont buy it, your ok where you are right now, keep looking, whats for you wont go by you

i should have listened to my partner when buying our last place because they werent happy at all with it and we ended up moving a year later, thank goodness we were lucky enough to sell in a week because some places that were on the market around us are still on the market and have had to drop 20k from the original asking price, also a council area

It is me and my husband, plus we have a child who goes to school. And I don't want to feel ashamed to ask his friends over (he goes to quite a posh school, even though it's state).

We would get the house about 30K cheaper than similar properties in the area but then others have a private drive. I really don't want to
a) have to move again in 2-3 years because the house doesn't feel right
b) struggle to sell it because it is a quiet residential area and I assume, off-street parking is quite essential for potential buyers.

hazyjo

If other houses have off-street parking, does this make it easy enough for you to park outside or are there still lots of cars around/lack of parking areas?

I wouldn't put it as an essential - lots of people sell/buy without a driveway. If you can still park outside easily, it shouldn't be a major problem. My sis's road is a nightmare - lots of driveways, but this actually makes it harder for visitors to park as there's barely any kerbs left!

Jx

BigTrouble_2

sunshinetours wrote: »

You can't change the location or neighbours - if you are happy with those then they are two big things to tick off. The house itself can be changed as can off street parking as you say.

If this is the first house you have bought it may simply be first time buyers nerves and you will get it with any house you attempt to buy.

Focus on all the negative things you think there are and list them and then see if you can live with some or all of them. Then focus on all the positives about this house.

If still not sure then walk away there will be other houses eventually

I am happy with the location in general but not the immediate surroundings. Is it terrible that the neighbours hang their laundry to air dry right at my door step because their gardens are not technically private (no fence)? It does bother me.

Immediate neighbours are fine but the other ones have unsightly gardens, they couldn't even bother to plant any shrubs or anything to make them look nice, the fence is metal and is ripped apart at places and rusty, they look just ugly. It bothers me too - I will be seeing this day in, day out, and so will my child.

Then again, there is no parking next to the house (right of foot only), no access by car at all - another major con.

I don't think I can change anything about these things.

BigTrouble_2

poppysarah wrote: »

Pull out and have a long hard think without any pressure.

I try to imagine: if this house was on the market and we hadn't put the offer or anything - would I still want it? Probably not. I have got attached to it and involved with people surrounding the purchase, so it makes it difficult to think clearly.

And there is pressure all right - they need to complete quickly.

BigTrouble_2

JonnyBravo wrote: »

Have you asked the landlord if you could buy it?
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
I rent out one house (had the same tenant for 5 years) and if she asked to buy it, and we agreed a price, I'd let it go.

I have. They are not looking to sell at this point.

I would just love to stay here. Objectively, it requires a bit of updtaing, the kitchen is old and the carpets are dated - and the house we are (sort of) buying is so much newer and nicer inside. But I don't know, I am just happy and safe here. I fell in love with this house - in need of redecoration and all - the minute I saw it on the first viewing.

The only difference is that it is not actually mine.

BigTrouble_2

hazyjo wrote: »

If other houses have off-street parking, does this make it easy enough for you to park outside or are there still lots of cars around/lack of parking areas?

I wouldn't put it as an essential - lots of people sell/buy without a driveway. If you can still park outside easily, it shouldn't be a major problem. My sis's road is a nightmare - lots of driveways, but this actually makes it harder for visitors to park as there's barely any kerbs left!

Jx

There are no parking restrictions but all places nearby are usually taken. It is not the problem of not being able to park - just the inconvenience, plus having to walk to and fro with shopping, under rain etc.

Most houses have driveways in the area - so I am wary of potential problem selling it.

henpecked1

all that feeling and you havent invested in the purcjhase yet. Pull out and take some time out. Dont be bullied into thinking that is all you can afford, there will be others.

BigTrouble_2

ItMightBeUsefulOneDay wrote: »

First thing to say is that you're not in a mess. You could call up right now and pull out with no repercussions so take a deep breath and consider your next move. Only once you've exchanged contracts are you legally obliged to continue and even then you can bail out (but it costs).

Secondly, despite what some might say, there is an emotional side to house buying because it's not about buying a house, it's about buying a home. You must be happy there. There are things you can change about a house (the colour on the walls) and there are other things you can't. Think about the things that are bothering you and see if they are fixable (such as the lack of off-street parking). What does that leave you with? Location and neighbours are outside of your control to change so be wary if it's either of these items that are causing you to have second thoughts. This is important because no matter how nice the house is (room sizes, garden, view), if you have workshy scroungers lobbing empty cans of special brew into your front lawn daily it isn't going to be home, it will just be a house where you live and wish you didn't.

Thank you very much for your post.

I think I just had an image of what my house would look like once I've bought it. This one does not look like it. I just cannot help it. It is much cheaper but it does not feel like a house I will be happy with. It will feel reasonable, rational - but for me, it would be a compromise. And when I think about of me buying it and living in it - I think it would make feel like a failure - that's the word. Like I didn't accomplish what I wanted for myself and settled for cheap.

I am in my early thirties, I want a family home I will be happy with - I deserve it at last, I worked hard enough to earn it, without having to go for a property that does not feel right but that is cheap Everybody chooses their lifestyle and I feel bad about being pressured - even by myself - to continue living on the cheap because it is cheap and "make do".

And I feel I have compromised enough by renting cheap properties and saving. The house we live in now is the first "proper" house we have ever lived in - we are paying low rent, otherwise we would never go for it since it's rent.

Please forgive me this bit of self-reflection - I think it helps talking emotions through.

sunshinetours

I think you have probably answered your own original question by writing down the answers you have. The things that you say bother you are not going to change so if the "image" of the house and area bothers you that much then I would keep looking.

All I would say is don't try and build up this idealogical utopian house that you have wanted all this time as all house buying at any budget and any stage of life involves some compromise. Its just working out whoch compromises you can live with. Some people worry about image more than others in life and that is fine, as its your money and your choice so there is no right or wrong answer here whatever anyone may say - just your answer