In a mess, deeper and deeper...

BigTrouble_2

Hi to all!

I was so looking forward to buying my own house but now all I can feel is stress and wanting to just go away.

We had an offer accepted, haven't spent any money yet and it has been a total see-saw in terms of whether we want it or not in the end. It is the area we wanted, the size we wanted, much cheaper than similar houses - but something bothers me. Maybe I don't like the immediare surroundings (it is a council estate). Maybe I am put off by lack of private parking. I keep going through things in my head and seem to come to a conclusion that yes, I want it - only to become unsure again and having this nasty feeling inside.

I now just wish the survey found something bad about it so that I can give up on this house and never worrying about not going for the good deal.

And it did not help that the mortgage guy at the bank first said that we can borrow X (which is what I thought) but the AIP after the credit check came down to about 50K less. Which means that if we don't buy this house we may not be able to afford anything more so should probably buy it if that's what we can afford.

I have done research on the parking bit (I can create my own parking), I met the neighbour (lovely lady), I am getting deeper and deeper - but I am still not sure.

I have become snappy, I spend all my time on things related to house-buying and neglect my work, my hair is falling out quite literally. I am sorry to be messing the vendor around, but when I in THAT house I like it - when I am back home, I get this bad feeling again.

And I stupidly love the house I rent and ideally wouldn't want to move - but have been paying other people's mortgages for 7 years so have got to start paying my own at some point.

Sorry for whining. And thank you for reading.

bluebeary

no, its good your getting it out, if something isnt right then i dont think you should continue with the sale, have you spoken to someone else concerned about this as you say 'we' in your post, what do they think, if you have doubts then dont buy it, your ok where you are right now, keep looking, whats for you wont go by you

i should have listened to my partner when buying our last place because they werent happy at all with it and we ended up moving a year later, thank goodness we were lucky enough to sell in a week because some places that were on the market around us are still on the market and have had to drop 20k from the original asking price, also a council area

Gwhiz

Walk away! You have these feeling for a reason. I pulled out of a purchase yesterday after the seller started going back on a few things - my gut said pull out. As soon as I did I knew it was the right decision as I felt so good.

FraudBuster

Gut feelings are usually correct.

sunshinetours

You can't change the location or neighbours - if you are happy with those then they are two big things to tick off. The house itself can be changed as can off street parking as you say.

If this is the first house you have bought it may simply be first time buyers nerves and you will get it with any house you attempt to buy.

Focus on all the negative things you think there are and list them and then see if you can live with some or all of them. Then focus on all the positives about this house.

If still not sure then walk away there will be other houses eventually

jozbo

your gut instinct is telling you something.
it could be buyer's nerves or it could be something more.
as you've tried to convince yourself it's worth going for and have still had the nasty feeling - the best option i feel would be to pull out.

JonnyBravo

BigTrouble wrote: »

And I stupidly love the house I rent and ideally wouldn't want to move - but have been paying other people's mortgages for 7 years so have got to start paying my own at some point.

Have you asked the landlord if you could buy it?
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
I rent out one house (had the same tenant for 5 years) and if she asked to buy it, and we agreed a price, I'd let it go.

poppysarah

Pull out and have a long hard think without any pressure.

hazyjo

I'd love to say it's just nerves, but I had that feeling with one we wanted to buy. We left an offer on the table and walked away but I had this awful feeling. It was on a side turning which became a bit of a country lane further up with a 60mph speed limit. I have 2 cats and, as much as I loved the house, the feeling wouldn't go away. I actually sat outside the house at about 8pm one night and barely a car went past, but I couldn't shake off that one major niggle and it made me feel physically sick. It was the only one thing against it, but it was enough to sway me. We did find another we preferred (which we've since lost) and I actually felt relief when I said our offer no longer stood. Found another one now which makes me absolutely jump for joy - but haven't got a buyer for ours yet, and now I have that sick feeling that we might lose this house we love, not that we might end up in it (like I felt with the other one).

Sometimes things add up on paper... people might tell you to make a pros and cons list, but I just don't think you can apply it to house buying. There might be 20 pros and one con that is enough to turn you off it.

Go with your gut feeling, I (very reluctantly) say. Several months ago I'd have been saying it was nerves, but I've since felt it and know it won't change. You don't want to buy something you'll regret. Lots of money exchanging hands here. Something else will turn up. Try and save in the meantime. House prices are only really going in one direction for the next few months at least. If we have a particularly harsh winter again, I can't see that helping. People will wait until spring I think.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Jx

Chinkle

You need to separate what are just nerves about making what is probably the biggest purchase of your life, and genuine concerns about the property. Sit down with a pen and paper and list them. Then as someone else has suggested, look at what can be done about them and what can't. If there is someone else involved in this purchase, as you have indicated, then do it together.

I don't think anyone on here can tell you what is the wrong or right thing to do, just try to approach it with a clear head.

ItMightBeUsefulOneDay

First thing to say is that you're not in a mess. You could call up right now and pull out with no repercussions so take a deep breath and consider your next move. Only once you've exchanged contracts are you legally obliged to continue and even then you can bail out (but it costs).

Secondly, despite what some might say, there is an emotional side to house buying because it's not about buying a house, it's about buying a home. You must be happy there. There are things you can change about a house (the colour on the walls) and there are other things you can't. Think about the things that are bothering you and see if they are fixable (such as the lack of off-street parking). What does that leave you with? Location and neighbours are outside of your control to change so be wary if it's either of these items that are causing you to have second thoughts. This is important because no matter how nice the house is (room sizes, garden, view), if you have workshy scroungers lobbing empty cans of special brew into your front lawn daily it isn't going to be home, it will just be a house where you live and wish you didn't.