Money Shop Loan - Sick with worry;

SimIsOnTheUp

KPR11 wrote: »

Hey Sim,

Just came across your thread, didn't want to read and run.

Though am not a recovering alcoholic, I have been through something similar (was a gambling addict) thus I know it must be a really difficult time for you, don't beat yourself up and try not to keep thinking what you could have done, the key is to look forward (I know it's easier said than done).

As far as the debt is concerned, if you can stay sober the debt will clear (may take longer than you would like but it will clear and certainly a lot quicker than if you were to start drinking) - I am an example of it, owed c20k all gambling related and now owe less than £3.5k in just over 2 and a half years so it can be done.

I had a MS loan too, the tactic I used to clear it was to clear at least 1 cheque at a time so for example if I had 5 cheques due I would roll a max of 4 and make sure I clear 1. It may make things a bit tight but at least you are clearing it (but make sure you leave yourself with enough money for priority debts, food and travel to work)

I believe there is a thread on DFW Diaries for recovering alcoholics (don't have the link handy, will try to find it), this thread will be an invaluable support (if this thread is anything like the one for gamblers).

I hope things work out for you, if there is anything I can help with just PM me.

Keep strong and remember one day at a time

KPR

Bold - my emphasis.

You've hit the nail on the head there too.

I keep thinking back to October when I had £880 (backdated ESA after a successful Appeal Tribunal) in my bank account... I could've cleared Money Shop debt easily, and the rest! The drinking came first back then though, and it galls me as to how f*cked my thinking was

PS - Re the 'Giving up booze' thread, thanks, have been on there a while. Great crowd

KPR11

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Hiya KPR,

Thank You so much for your kind, supportive help and practical advice.

You are welcome

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

HUGE Congrats to you for overcoming your gambling addiction, and for getting those debts down!

I don't think I can say I am over my addiction, I am one bet away from going down the slippery slope of compulsive gambling. Some days are easier than others, there are days when I have to remind myself that I need to stay strong.

Two weeks is a huge achievement, you just need to keep it going. I found that the first day, first week, first month and the first year was the hardest. If you find yourself thinking about drinking, I think the key is to remind yourself that you have done it for X long and that you can do it for 1 more day.

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Money Shop are a nightmare aren't they? I have started to take responsibility for the fact that it was me who took out the loan though..

They can be a real nightmare but very well done on taking responsibility - though it will be a battle to clear the loan, once you done it you will feel absolutely relieved and massively proud of yourself.

You mentioned your gf, you should consider giving her or someone you trust the cheque guarantee card.

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Your tactic is a sound one. This is my plan too - to clear one £100 cheque per month (starting December) until I've cleared the £500. Next week is going to be very tough though, as I have £85 in my account, have hardly any food in, and MS want another £67 to roll the 4 cheques for another month (I've already paid £16.99 to roll one of them on Friday).

How long do you have to go before pay day / benefits?

Is there any chance you can have a couple of meals and friends/family's house? You can reciprocate the favour once you have been paid / have your benefits.

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

I can sell my iPod Nano to 'CeX' and raise £40 on Monday though, but talk about desperate..

Have you considered ebay with a 1 day or 3 day listing, you are likely to get more for it than CEX. If the one day listing does not work out, you can always sell it at CEX.

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

It's a vicious cycle isn't it? Looking back, I'd feel I couldn't cope with the stress / feelings of guilt / regret etc, end up drinking, and then be in even more debt etc etc..

It is indeed a vicious cycle and it can feel very daunting when you are trying to break it but you can do it.

SimIsOnTheUp wrote: »

Two weeks sober tomorrow though, which I should be proud of!

Off for a brisk walk to the shop, as need some grub

Well done on being sober for so long! It is indeed something to be proud of, if you ever feel you are slipping - seek immediate support from family/friends or even post on here, I am sure people will be glad to help.

Hope the walk did you good!

pupsicola

Hi Sim,

I have been reading this thread and just wanted to say that you should be very proud of yourself for keeping going and trying so hard to sort everything out.

Stop beating yourself up for falling off the wagon. It happened and you have the strength of mind to recognise you made a mistake and you are trying to move forward from it and get life back on track.

Keep trying

eyeopener2

Hey Sim

Two weeks! Well done.

Next target two weeks and one day.

Thats all you can do. One day at a time. The rest will happen easily if you stay sober one day at a time.

E2

shandybass123

I/We got into a lot of debt over quite a few years - I went to Uni as a mature student, we tried to 'tart' credit cards but somehow ended-up with 5 maxed out cards, etc...

We went to the Consumer Credit Councilling Service (CCCS) (can't post link - just google it) They talk you through everything and get agreements with creditors to pay what you can afford, monthly, based on a budget which they work out with you. Its a fair bit of work to sort it all out, because they are thorough. Basically, you pay them what you've got left at the end of the month, after bills and living expenses, they then share that out to your debtors in a fair way.
Many debtors will freeze the interest, etc once CCCS starts working for you.
Its all FREE - its a government intiative, I think.

Hope this helps

KPR11

How we doing Sim?

sp1987

So very well done on staying sober for two weeks.

I've fortunately never suffered from an addiction but you must realise how big a goal it is that you have reached. Your body and mind are no doubt in conflict about it all the time. The very fact you make it to one day, let alone 14, is huge.

You have proved to yourself that you are capable of being strong enough to stop yourself doing something you recognise as negative for you, repeatedly and in succession.

I think you underestimate how massive it is and how proud you should be of yourself! It is near on half a month.

Don't dwell on a relapse or a backward step, concentrate on how long you have been since you had one. You could have paid your debt off back then...but you also can certainly do it in the future and each day you are one step closer to being the person you want to be.

SimIsOnTheUp

KPR11 wrote: »

How we doing Sim?

Hiya KPR11,

Pretty good thanks! Hope you are well too.

I've been sober now, for 2 weeks and 5 days and am feeling quite good about this.

Having just got off the phone with a so - called friend, I am feeling a bit low though..

She's been sober since February '09 when she went into rehab for 6 months, and since then, as lovely as she is, she's not particularly supportive or positive given that she's 'been there'!

I was telling her about how annoyed I'd been these past few weeks, with my other mate who keeps texting / calling, asking me out to go drinking (not just a few, but a full on 'lad's night out' - we've never had 'a few'..). I said that I'd found him a bit selfish, as he knows how much trouble booze has caused me over the years.

Her response has annoyed / frustrated me.. She said "Don't be thinking about him.. He's not selfish.. He doesn't understand it.." That is probably true, however, when she said "Don't think about him. Think about yourself.. How long have you been telling him you don't drink, only to end up going drinking with him? "

"If I'm honest, years" I said. "Exactly. He probably thinks 'Ah Sim will come out on the p*ss eventually.."

She is partly right. However, it isn't helpful!

She kept going on about how much I'd lost due to the booze - ie - Girlfriends / missed career opportunities / debt accrued, and she kept making a point of how my other mate hadn't lost anything because of drinking, and so wouldn't understand.

As I write this down, I can see that she does have a point, but her constant harking back to how I've been in the past is not helpful, and she can be downright negative - that I can do without.

She's changed since coming out of rehab two Summers ago. (She's bound to, given that she was in there for 6 months..).

She was actually kicked out of rehab, having embarked on an affair with a guy also in rehab..

Yet she lied to me at the time of her leaving, when she had nowhere to live, telling me that "nothing had happened". I let her sleep on my sofa for one night, when she was sorted out with temporary accommodation by the Council.

All very odd that she felt she couldn't tell me what had happened between her and this guy. Possibly didn't help that her and I had had a fling two years back when we were both drinking. Maybe this colours a lot of what she says to me even now..

Yesterday, I offered her my old PC. She seemed surprised that I didn't want anything for it, but it'd just be nice to see her set up online, as she doesn't have a computer.

I'm almost regretting even offering her it now!

It seems like we can't just have a normal chat about stuff that p*sses us off (as friends do?!) without her coming out with AA'isms such as "Hmm. It doesn't matter what he does. Look at your part in it"..

Jesus!

When she kept bringing up my falls from the wagon from years gone by, I told her I felt I was doing quite well at the moment, and she just said "Hmm, you are at the moment yes.". Considering she's a mate, she isn't particularly suppportive!

Sorry to witter on, given that this is a debt forum.

Job training is going well, I'm slowly getting back on top of my finances (having extended my flipppin' Money Shop loan for one more month - going to pay off £200 of it when I get paid next week ), and I'm sober three weeks on Monday :T

Big up me, even if my mates are not helping!

Hugs to anyone else who needs them, and thanks for your kindness and support on here.

Cheers,

Sim x

SimIsOnTheUp

sp1987 wrote: »

So very well done on staying sober for two weeks.

I've fortunately never suffered from an addiction but you must realise how big a goal it is that you have reached. Your body and mind are no doubt in conflict about it all the time. The very fact you make it to one day, let alone 14, is huge.

You have proved to yourself that you are capable of being strong enough to stop yourself doing something you recognise as negative for you, repeatedly and in succession.

I think you underestimate how massive it is and how proud you should be of yourself! It is near on half a month.

Don't dwell on a relapse or a backward step, concentrate on how long you have been since you had one. You could have paid your debt off back then...but you also can certainly do it in the future and each day you are one step closer to being the person you want to be.

Hiya sp1987,

Thanks so much for your kind words of support.

It's the dwelling on the past I find the hardest, especially when so called mates keep bringing it up!

Hope your weekend is relaxing.

Thanks again,

Sim.

eyeopener2

Sim, if your about i've PM'd you.