Help required re seperation - not married

BARGAINHUNTER!

Hi

i wonder if anyone can offer me some advice.

I have been with my partner for 15 years and we have two children. I moved into a house that he owned in his name only 15 years ago, although I used to help pay the mortgage and bills. We sold his house and brought one ourselves in joint names about 11 years ago. There is currently 47k left to pay on the martgage.

We have decided to split up. We are not married and have never been engaged, although we have lived together as man and wife and the children have his surname. I am confused as to how we go about this. i would like to stay in this house with the children and my partner will purchase another house with his own mortgage nearby. Do I get the house valued now and arrange to give him half of the value as it is now at a certain time (ie when the children have left full time education) or do we agree to get the house valued at a future time (ie when the kids have left full time education) and he get half of its value then? I can afford to take out a mortgage for 47k but no more as I only work part time in order to look after the children. If I could, i would give him half the value as it is now so he could buy another house, but i cannot afford to do this. Also, will his name remain on the deeds?

Also, we have some money and shares and stuff in various accounts, held singerly and jointly. Does this just get split in half? I have been on the https://www.entitledto.co.uk website so I know what help I will be able to get to pay the bills, but how much should my partner by paying to the children as maintenance? I know that he is not obliged to support me financially. My parner has also indicated that since it was 'his' money that went into the deposit for the house, I should give him this back so that he can use it as a deposit for his new house. Is this correct? Should i get a solicitor involved? I am very wary of doing this as a) i don't earn much money so it would be a struggle to pay a solicitors bill and b) I want to keep things as friendly and amacable between all parties if at all possible, and I believe that if solicitors get involved things could turn nasty, whish i don't want. My partner had also indicated that me giving him a lump sum in the future would give him a tax problem. is this true?

Any help and advice would be greatfully received, as all of this is really starting to get me down and I am scared that I will end up with nothing. We have been in seperate bedrooms for just over a year.

hobo28

Its really up to you. As you are both not married, the laws of divorce do not apply.

You could arrange to give him half the present value in the future but practically how would this work and is potentially full of problems. For example, can he afford a mortgage without the equity currently in the house. Also, whats to stop him from changing his mind later.

Personally I would suggest that the two most viable options would be to sell up now, split the money and each get somewhere seperate. Or sell in future and split the money at that point.

As for savings, technically whats in your name is yours, whats in his is his and joint is joint. Its not like marriage where its all considered as a joint asset. Best plan is again just decide between you the best you can. As soon as solicitors get involved, money gets poured into a black hole so its often better to bite your tongue over certain things than to fight it out to the bitter end and make solicitors richer.

My partner had also indicated that me giving him a lump sum in the future would give him a tax problem. is this true?

Possibly as the house at that time would no longer be his primary abode so could be subject to capital gains tax. Not sure though.

For 2 kids, he should be paying 20% of his net salary minus 1/7 for every night he will be having the kids for. Thats the rule the CSA use. There's a thread somewhere here with more info.

Hope that helps.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Thanks for the advice. I think that I am going to see someone from CAB to see where I stand legally and then work from there. as you say, once solicitors get involved the money seems to go into a big black hole. But i think that it would be better for everyone if, once everything has been agreed, to get a solicitor to draw up something legal. This would make us both feel more secure im sure.

in answer to your question, yes, my partner could afford a mortgage without a lump sum from me, I just don't know if legally he can force me to pay him a lump sum for the equity from his last house that we used as a deposit. of course, when we brought the house together we did not draw up anything legal moneywise.

selling the house and us both buying a house from the proceeds is not really an option. The children are settled here and we would not want to unsettle them more by moving away. Unfortunately we live in quite an expensive area and I would not be able to buy anything local with my share of the equity in this house plus a mortgage. the only thing i can do is to take over the remainder of the mortgage, which I can do (but only just!)

Does anyone know what happens to the house when you are getting divorced - do you take the value of the property as it is when you seperate and agree to give your partner half this amount at a future date, or do you agree on a future date, have the house valued then and pay your parner their half? this could make quite a diference to me as property prices arte going through the roof where I live at th moment. also, does anyone know the tax implications of receiving this lump sum?

Mrs_pbradley936

Cannot help you I'm afraid, but in everycase I know were people are divorcing the wife and children say in the house until the youngset is 16 or leaves education at which point the house is sold and the proceeds divided. BUT when I pointed that fact out to someone else a solicitor came on who said that it was not always the case even if it was very common.

I know you do not what to see a solicitor because of the expense but I do think you should perhaps speak to one just for an initial consultation. Might be £80 or so well spent, just let them know right from the off that you will not be needing their services long term. At least then you will have advice geared solely to your circumstances.

hobo28

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote:

....I just don't know if legally he can force me to pay him a lump sum for the equity from his last house that we used as a deposit. of course, when we brought the house together we did not draw up anything legal moneywise.

I assume when you bought your current house, the equity from his old house went towards it. So in effect he put in a large sum of money into the current house. I'm not a solicitor but I think that he cannot force you as such but its certainly a factor a court would look closely at.

Personally, after such a long partnership, I would see a 50-50 split as fair but unfortunately the law does not recognise living together as the same as marriage. So the starting premise of 50-50 doesn't apply.

Unfortunately unless you can agree then solicitors are inevitable. Is your ex agreeable to a split in the future since he can afford his own place? It would be the least disruption for the children and their needs should come first.

Personally I wouldn't be happy to be paid in the future for what the house is worth now. I've no ideas of the legality of such an agreement anyway but from his point of view he loses several ways.

For example, if house prices go through the roof, his share remains the same yet you benefit from the increase in part due to his equity. In real terms its actually less because of inflation. If you don't sell then his money is completely tied up and what if he needs the money? Plus on top of that, he could be clobbered for 40% capital gains tax. I'm not surprised he's not keen on the idea.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Thanks for the advice. I have decided to speak to a solicitor to see how it would all work legally and then I suppose it would be best if we both sat down together and worked out a compromise that was agreeable to both parties. I don't really want to get into a situation where solicitors are fighting it out, as i don't want to line their pockets any more than is necessary!

hobo28

Good luck.

I remember when my ex & I were fighting over the kids. A few letters back and forth, one meeting and two court appearances set me back £3000. So its well worth compromising a little bit if possible. I've heard of people spending £20k on solicitors!!!! They would be the only winners there!

westernpromise

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote:

Thanks for the advice. I have decided to speak to a solicitor to see how it would all work legally and then I suppose it would be best if we both sat down together and worked out a compromise that was agreeable to both parties. I don't really want to get into a situation where solicitors are fighting it out, as i don't want to line their pockets any more than is necessary!

Tough situation. I am a cohabiting bloke with 2 kids, renting but we still own and let our 2 original places, and I have often wondered how this would pan out if it befell us.

My perspective on this would be that whatever you both feel right now, you are the mother of the children and deserving of some respect. Equally, he needs to able to move on without being utterly impoverished.

The more you spend on solicitors, the less there will be for you to share, so it is in your and his interests to keep things as amicable as possible.

BARGAINHUNTER!

phoned solicitor this afternoon and had a quick chat outlining the problem. she could not give me any advice over the phone but made an appointment for me to see her next Tuesday. She asked me some questions to see if i would qualify for legal aid. i told her that i earnt £12.5k a year (i work part time) and that I had approx £1k in my own name. She said that she didn't think that I qualified for legal aid but she would give me a free half hour chat and ask me some more questions. i have to take in my wage slip, bank statement, details of outgoings, identification. Does anyone know the cut off point for receiving legal aid? Also, does anyone know roughly how much a solicitor charges per hour?

westernpromise

BARGAINHUNTER! wrote:

Also, does anyone know roughly how much a solicitor charges per hour?

Why not ask them? The introductory session may be a bit cheaper anyway.

System

My brother is in the process of separating from his wife at the moment (she is having an affair) and his solicitor told him there were only 3 options regarding the house regardless of the fact his kids are 10 and 7.

1. sell the property and split the equity probably 60/40 in favour of whoever has custody of the kids

2. He can buy her out of the property

2. She can buy him out of the property

There was no mention whatsoever of my brother being forced into financial limbo waiting for the youngest to reach 16 or 18 before he gets his share of the house.