Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

CRANKY40

juliethemuse wrote: »

does anyone know what i can get my 23 year old for xmas? he lives alone since his GF left him, everything i have bought him in the past either gets sold or chucked in a cupboard, one year they (when still together) threw xmas prezzies in a cupboard without even opening them! i was a bit peeved with the 2 of them,

I wouldn't bother to be honest. Save your money and spend it on people who appreciate your gifts.

LovelyLollipop

Voucher for takeaway delivery......? (not being facetious there - something that he really will use). Failing that - ask him

bluebag

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I wouldn't bother to be honest. Save your money and spend it on people who appreciate your gifts.

I have never found a parcel of grattitude yet, it seems really scarce.

It sounds like that might be the perfect gift for him, don't you think.?

shegar

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

Katholics --- it was nothing to do with my win that he was stropping.

but everything is fine now - all sorted. He apologised for being a pain in the backside.

Should just add too that I am not paying is debts off in full. Just his credit card which has £250 on and a debt that keeps gaining interest which is £1,200. He has another debt that he pays £50 a month too that is interest free though which he will still have and have told him if he gets any more debt etc then I'm done. I want the debt free good life so I need to plan for mine and my kids future and if he tries to balls that up then hes on his own.

Do watch what you do in helping your BF , cos once the money has been spent that will probaly be the end of having a lump sum windfall again........as I said in previous post make it SSTTRREECCHHH.......

A little bit of advise if you dont mind me saying is make him cut the credit card up as soon as youve paid the debt, its no good going back in the same boat ..... Debt is a vicious circle ..........you need to have a bit dosh behind you for security, I always said to my boys when you run out of money everything will go wrong, and you cant bail yourself out........sorry to go on but as you get older you learn through experiences....

ceridwen

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

I have to say that Ben has a DVD/Combi thing in his bedroom that I won about 3 years ago in a work raffle and I think he's watched it once. He does have a DS which is his DS, we have an XBOX360 which was my Xmas present two years ago but the whole family use it and we have a PC which again is for family use. I don't see why Ben would need any more.

His brother on the other hand has a DS, a DSi, a Wii, an XBOX, a PC, a mobile, Sky TV in his bedroom and is now getting an XBOX360 for his christmas present from his mother. Even Owen himself has no idea why Josh needs all that. Although Josh has said he likes coming to see us because we spend time with him but at home he just stays in his room, he even eats his meals there. Whereas I cant get Ben to go in his room here. He prefers being with me and holly in the living room like it should be.

Aw! Poor little thing - ie Josh even eating his meals in his room:(. I tend to read things about many people not having family mealtimes together these days and think its a shame...but that poor little lad sitting there and eating his meals all on his own..:(

You are right of course - that it should be the case of there being "family time"..

ceridwen

kidcat wrote: »

I had to have a talk with my DD16 this morning, she is normally very good about money and understands that we have considerably less to live on than her friends. Its her friends birthday in a few weeks, (I say friend loosely as this girl gave my DD a very hard time last year, rubbing her nose in the fact that she had attended the school foreign trip when my DD couldnt afford to go. Then causing trouble because she was jealous of my DD friendships with others) and as per usual her parents are not giving her a party etc. Now for many in the group that seems strange as they have always had a party, but for this girl her parents have never put on a party at all. Both parents are in very highly paid jobs, they have good holidays abroad (which we have never been able to do), have very expensive furniture and TVs etc. So one of the group has decided that the rest of them should host a party for this girl, and has asked all the girls to pitch in £20 towards cost of food, decorations, and to pay for the birthday presents that the girl has requested. I have been very hard and said I will provide a small gift for the girl and no more. I pointed out that there is no money in my purse and when money goes in on Thurs it is all accounted for, DS12 needs new football boots and I am trying to shop for Christmas. She was upset.
I just fail t o see why I should pay towards a party for a girl whose household has five or six times our income, and only one child, while I am struggling to bring up my children. I plan carefully and budget to allow my children to have parties and presents, and I fail to see that its appropriate that I should pay towards someone elses child.
Am I being harsh because of this girls history? Am I punishing the girl for her parents attitude? To my mind they had a week in a top hotel with saunas, massages, room service etc over the summer, and a week in a cottage in the Lake District, thats on top of the two two week foreign holidays, and that is their choice of lifestyle, rather than parties etc.

NO - I dont think you are being harsh at all. You are giving what you can afford.

The people who ARE being harsh here are her parents - fancy never having a party for their own child:(. I know I had to accept that I never had parties as a child:( - but I have become aware since that it was down to a combination of not enough money and my mother was/is a very "private" person and has always found it very hard to accept having any visitors in her home (even if they were for her children - not herself). Its certainly the case that there is enough (indeed plenty) of money in the case of this girls parents - and I doubt there are many people as "private" as my mother is (ie very private indeed) - so they "should" be doing so - with the corollary, of course, that they are there in the house somewhere in the background (having read about JUST what a few teenagers get up to at parties in their own house when their parents arent there:eek:).

bluebag

Kidcat,
The situation with your daughter is sticky. She may be upset because if she is the only one not contibuting it may single her out. At age 16 girls can make a serious bullying issue of this sort of thing. Is there any way she could do some babysitting or something to raise the wind?

If she hasn't got any money of her own to spend, then maybe she could offer some service to the group, making the invites or decorations, even baking some snacks would be a help.

Fruball

I think its a bl00dy disgrace that anyone except the parents are expected to stump up the cash for this girl's party - Do the parents even know about this? I don't envy you being put in that position... I don't know what I would do if it were me but paying for a rich kids daughter to have a party is not something I ever envisage having to do!!!

If her parents don't know.... I would make sure they find out - that may sort the whole problem out?

charlies-aunt

katholicos wrote: »

What a joke. I wrote a letter to Tax Credit department a couple of weeks ago saying that they should stop paying tax credits as DD is now at Uni. Haven't heard anything from them so just phoned them to make them aware of the change in circumstances and was told because i mistakenly answered one of their security questions that I can not report that i am quite possibly being overpaid .

Beware the Tax Credits!!

My daughter is taking a gap year - she couldn't sign onto JSA until September as her Child Benefit didn't run out till then..... but when I rang Tax Credits to tell them she was claiming JSA and I was no longer eligible for Child Tax Credit - they informed me that my Child Tax Credit entitlment ended on the day that she took her last exam in June!

Oh woe! Overpaid by nearly £200! :eek:

Apparently if your child registers with Connexions in the gap between finishing A levels and being eligible for JSA, you are still able to get Tax Credits...but no-one tell you this until its too late!!!:mad:

bluebag

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Beware the Tax Credits!!

My daughter is taking a gap year - she couldn't sign onto JSA until September as her Child Benefit didn't run out till then..... but when I rang Tax Credits to tell them she was claiming JSA and I was no longer eligible for Child Tax Credit - they informed me that my Child Tax Credit entitlment ended on the day that she took her last exam in June!

Oh woe! Overpaid by nearly £200! :eek:

Apparently if your child registers with Connexions in the gap between finishing A levels and being eligible for JSA, you are still able to get Tax Credits...but no-one tell you this until its too late!!!:mad:

The whole system is messed up.