Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

suzybloo

Congratulations, it is heart warming to hear someone winning something that will make their lives easier in these hard times, remember to treat yourself too!!!!!

gailey_2

Ahhh huge congrats sammy k:j

dont know anyone more more deserving.

be lovley early xmas present for you and debt free amazing feeling!

Im sure if you continue with frugal ways in words of del boy you be millionaire 1day!

Im hopeless with comps never win just get tonnes of junk email.

thankyou everyone for kind words and support.

feeling bit sorry for myself today as babys been poorly and hubbys been out all day.
hes working tommorow as took yesterday off to take care of us bless him.

I cant work out why I been hit harder than him we seem to have same thing mam says its because im pregnant and immunes low plus being at home with kids much more tiring than work ever used to be.

Hubby thinks his job interveiw went ok hes not definatly sure hes got it find out tue/wed feel sick just thinking about it as no other jobs out there for him.

I have scrubbed and disineffected bathroom.
hubbys done same to bathroom

so hopefully banish those nasty germs and my 4year old went get ill.

Im getting another early night in hope rest to me good.:)

Thanks for advice kidcat re stepson.

hes been seeing an educational phychologist for years and been in anger management since he attacked his teacher in primary 3years ago and got supended for 2weeks.
He ran away twice in year 6primary and has had social worker assigned since then and been on at risk register as he lied and said his stepdad had hit him.
We thourght good comp other side of town be fresh start for him away from trouble but school doing their best they not equipped on dealing with his behavioural issues they trying to help him catch up academically. 3months ago he locked himself in classroom and threatened suicide.

his mums on anti depressents her marraige as suffered and at loss what to do she just does whatever he wants to keep him happy.
Hubby has no parental rights as such as not on birth cert, dident see him fisrt 2years has monthly access and pays maintaiance.
we were having him 1weekend and hols but he had huge row, refused extra tuition, had appalling year 7report and said he dident care about is sisters and no longer wanted to come over this was few months ago ever since hubbys been seeing him 1day a month , last 2times he took 4year old as she misses him but he no longer wants to see her.

Im sure he wouldent intentionally hurt girls but hes anger problem and flips at slightest thing dont want to put them at risk.
At moment think he resents their existance hes 13 and very jealous he has 3elder sisters he sees regular they got babies now too.
We tried our best and feel we cant do much more especially after he lied and said hubby hit him , I find that quite disturbing as if he told social then our home would be investigated and possibly our girls on at risk register as a result so hubbys chosen not to get involved with social as he feels with minimal contact he cant make a difference it has to happen in his main home and school.

I think he needs taking out of mainstream in special school for timebeing until his behaviour and mood changes.
he needs much greater levels of supervision that he has as hes demonstrated he cannot be trusted and has done some stupid things. I wonder if temporary foster care with experineced parents of troubled teens might eb best soloution as dont think his mams coping and dont think we equipped to deal with him either sadly its gone so far and hes older now which makes it harder.
He resents the rules and routine here and he nearly set fire to our house twice!

I wish I knew what was wrong as much as I dislike his mam hes had 2sets of stable parents in his life since he was 5.
his sisters older so moved out so hes bit of only child and sligtly spoilt at home.
Hubbys alwasy maintained regular contact and tried his best by him.
My family have tried to include him too.
Social said he may get worse before he gets better but all I see is downward spiral.

Hoping I have energy to do stuff tommorow.

bluebag

ceridwen.

Good post,

It's a difficult situation. my own thoughts on it are that wages are too low. Benefits are calculated to be just enough to live on, so it stands to reason that if you are better off on benefits, as many are, then something is well out of kilter.

kezlou

Thanks kath i did find the chocolate and promptly shared it with the boys. Very yummy hmmm think i could do with some more.
Doesn't help when the cat starts glaring at you for not giving them any . Yes i have very strange cats love cheese and choclate and have to constantly stop them fcorm eating them.

Stress definitely doesn't help like, i'm just sick of tired of shouting, he's now gone off to bed, good riddance i say!!!

bluebag in the jobcentre now they's group 5 security / prison guards guarding the doors.
luckily when i claimed JSA i looked like meek indivuial so the guards were nice to me. Not like some other poor people who were escorted everywhere. Its more like a prison setting now than anything else.


Just looked on ebay, decided to see if i could find anything for the boys for xmas. I have about £50 on my paypal account, so think i'm going to try and get everything i need using that.
So coddy now has a lego star wars clone trooper set and its new so one down.
going to see if i can find a bike for snips

Kitcaboodle

csarina wrote: »

My Oh worked in the Job Centre, he has been pulled over the desk by his tie in the past by someone who had not had his giro...the abuse that job centre staff used to have to put up with was truely dreadful. I was so glad when he retired.

They deliberately have a slightly informal dress code these days. Partly so we don't seem like scary authority figures but also so the guys don't have to wear ties because of the safety risk that someone will do that.

Jobcentres (at least, those I've seen) are all open plan these days apart from the area where people go to get/find out about crisis loans (as that's when people are most likely to kick off about not getting the money).

It used to be that if someone got sanctioned it was because of their own actions plus a decision made by someone in a regional centre. Now it's going to be because of their own actions/inactions plus the member of staff in front of them pressing a button to record they didn't do it because they'd be fired themselves if they didn't.

I suspect a lot of the people likely to fall foul of this are likely to kick off at staff and I think we'll get a lot more attacks on staff once this comes in. Hope they increase the funding for security guards!

ceridwen

Crikey - security guards at the Jobcentre...crikey!!!

I wouldnt expect any trouble myself in those circumstances - as I would just assume they were obviously there for other people and it should be clear that I wouldnt be one of the people that would "kick off" - but I would feel upset/angry if I spotted any reaction at all from security guards to my coming in the door....

What a thought....was never anything like that back in my day....:eek: Must admit I react badly to seeing security guards on the door of supermarkets these days and wouldnt react well if I noticed them even studying me as I went through the door....(Mind you - come to think of it - in my area I noticed security guards at supermarkets for a while and then they vanished again and things went back to normal. Maybe a lot of other law-abiding citizens protested at them being there.....).

Mygawd - I dont remember having "security people" anywhere back in my days - other than on the door of discos (and I understood the necessity for that.....).

Kitcaboodle

They tend to just linger in the background. At least, ours is fairly useless, I mistook him for an office junior when I first went to the jobcenter! Mainly he just asks people to leave if they start shouting and kicking off. We're lucky in that our jobcentre customers are more likely to attack each other than the staff, so the security guards are more like referrees at a boxing match! However, if these changes come in then there is a greater risk that people will target anger at the staff as they won't see any distance between the staff member in front of them and the action taken against them.

kidcat

Gailey - there are specialist behaviour educational centres/units but he would need a referral and to be brutally honest, if his mother isnt really pushing and fighting for him they will do the minimum possible, their workload is so huge that they will do the most for kids whose parents are making the most noise - at least here and in several other authorities I have friends in. It may be that your husband will have to make the noise but thats going to be difficult if he doesnt have parental responsibility, am not entirely sure how it works but is there any way he can get onto the birth certificate? That gives him the right to attend the meetings and make demands on his sons behalf. There is also something called a CAF - its where all those involved in his care get together and make decisions choices all together - ideal as it means that everyone has access to the same information. School can arrange it but most are unwilling and dont really have the knowledge as to how to go about it, the social worker will be fully trained in CAF and can get a meeting set up. Alternatively is there a parent partnership in the area the child lives, they can advise and help access the level of help available.
Its not gonna be easy and my prayers are with you.

Penelope_Penguin

bluebag wrote: »

It's a difficult situation. my own thoughts on it are that wages are too low. Benefits are calculated to be just enough to live on, so it stands to reason that if you are better off on benefits, as many are, then something is well out of kilter.

I do a bit of benefit advice as part of my job, and unless you have lots of children, there are very few cases where you;re better of on benefit than in work. Honest

kidcat

If anyone is thinking of putting an Approved food order in its half price delivery this weekend.