Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

ceridwen

Primrose wrote: »

starsandmoon - I think you're right that a lot of people are suffering their financial hardship in silence because they're worried about loss of face amongst friends, family or work colleagues. I've always taken the view that it's better to be honest about your financial situation. We've experienced redundancies several times in our household and I've learned that by not being open about your need to economise, you can end up trapping yourself into difficult situations, especially in a work environment, when you're continually being asked to put your hand in your pocket for extraneous things such a birthday & leaving presents, office social occasions, etc. I learned that false pride doesn't pay the gas bill if you've spent £50 you can't afford attending a colleague's leaving night party! And I often found that once I was prepared to be honest about it, other people come creeping out of the woodwork and admit to the same difficulties but they suffer doubly for it because they end up conforming to social pressures, having a miserable emotionally time in the process and then paying for it with credit card debt. This time around I'm sure more people will be affected than previous recessions and cut-backs, so I can only plead with people to be honest and not get pulled into these emotional spending blackmail pressures if they find themselves in them. Not only will they take pressure off themselves; they will help other people in a similar situation. I find the best way of dealing with these situations is using humour - "No, I'm terribly sorry. I just can't afford that but I'm happy to share my next tea bag with you or you can have half my apple core:rotfl:

I fully agree with you on that...I spent literally years going against the British taboo of discussing finances because it simply didnt make sense to me. To this day I wouldnt dare ask my parents the details of their financial arrangements - I have just about been able to discuss finances enough with them to check out that they are "comfortable" and not doing without anything they need/particularly want. Having done that - thats as much as I dare do with them - because they are SO private. Having said that - they DO now ask me for my advice on things sometimes - which I take as a compliment:D

Generally though - it has become clear to me all these years later as to one reason hoping for compliments out of my parents was like "trying to get blood out of a stone" - ie very few and far between. I still think there should have been more of them/wish there HAD been more of them - but, on the plus side, I think I have come through with a very accurate assessment of exactly what my strengths and weaknesses are and how well (or otherwise) I manage my money. Having looked at the papers today and been shocked that 3 million (yep - thats MILLION) households (HOUSEHOLDS - not people) are "on the brink" of not being able to afford their mortgages if interest rates go up to "normal" levels then its very very obvious indeed to me that many people have totally overestimated their abilities to handle money well and many of those people could have usefully done with being "trained" to have an accurate assessment of their own ability level (including financially). Some will have had things happen since they took on the mortgage that were totally outwith their control (eg employers cutting their wages/making them redundant/etc) and I feel very sorry for people in that position. Others will have had things happen that ARE under their control and/or overestimated their personal financial management abilities - and it is because of the second category of people that I do believe very strongly that people do need to break right through this British taboo about discussing money. I understand why its there (ie the British tendency to try and pull people down to the level of the critic) - and I sympathise with the taboo for those reasons - but I think it has served its day and its time we all "opened up" a bit about our financial management and took the risks involved in doing so.

It is very important IMHO that that particular taboo goes - NOW - and we all discuss honestly what we are paid/how we are managing it/etc - and maybe...just maybe...it might help us all to assess better how good (or otherwise:cool:) we personally are at managing our income and how to live within our income (whatever it is). It drives me bananas personally watching some people totally overestimating their abilities/responsibilities at managing their money responsibly on the one hand - and other people feeling they cant mention that (due to no fault/choice of their own) they simply genuinely arent being given enough to live on on the other hand.

Sorrees - rant over.....and breathe...

ceridwen

lovelife wrote: »

Quote
Just been complimented on my work outfit. Told them it was all from charity shops. "How do you do it" said the complimenter. Offered to show them the delights of the local chaz shops but no they only like stuff from Next and someone may have died in the clothes from a chaz shop,eh?

Is it dinner time yet?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Love this, so funny, all our clothes are from the Charity shops now and i have much better quality clothes than i ever could have afforded previously. I am so lucky too, whtever we need seems to turn up at the right time. DH asked me to keep an eye out for a cardy for him last week, yesterday got him a truly lovely dark grey, chunky wool knit cardy, you know those ones with pockets and leather covered buttons, for just £3.50, he was soo chuffed and said it was exactly what he wanted


Greent, just seen your post, my heart goes out to you honey, big hugs xx[/QUOTE]

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Nowt wrong with that....there was a time (ie some years ago) where it struck me that the majority of my clothes were secondhand - but....does it really matter that much if it comes to it if they are?

I'm sitting here now - in my better-off days - and realise I am still wearing a "pre-loved" item and there are days when I'm wearing 2 or 3 pre-loved items. Does it matter that much? Nope....

So - even if its no longer necessary to get as much as possible for nothing or pennies - then it suits me not to waste money if possible...:D

NualaBuala

Rosanna, Grandma247, Mardy … I agree with all of you about the medics. I I was training to be pharmacist before the ME hit and if I ever get well enough to qualify and practise, this illness will have changed my outlook forever … I will truly respect what the patient wants and listen, not just hear what I want or expect to hear.

Sorry to hear things are so tough Kidcat Hang in there and hope your DD is better soon.

Thanks for the microwave advice Frugal … can you tell I’m not much of a cook?!


Kitcaboodle, I have duck feet too … I find it impossible to get well-fitting shoes. I will look up the brands you mentioned.

Pitlanepiglet …sorry things were that bad for you in work. No job is worth sacrificing your health for and reading between the lines that would have happened sooner or later.

Happy Birthday Parsonswife and Zippy

I love the idea of you being a thrift guru Starsandmoon. You are all my thrift gurus here! Aw just read about the money going missing, that’s awful.

Annie56 … what’s this I see in your siggy?!!! You don’t half move fast, the pair of you! I love what you said about doing kindnesses for people and that they will pass it on. We need more of that in the world.

Greent, Big hugs to you, I am so terribly sorry to hear what you’re going through. Listen to your gut. And don’t go through this alone. x

Great news about your allowance hellsbells but sorry to hear your health isn’t good.

Glad your OH is back home Csarina … I have been skim-reading and didn’t realise he was in hospital. Sounds like he is being very well-looked after and the food you made him sounds fab … you won’t get that kind of catering in hospital!

I tried to have a day of rest today but two things happened that really upset me and I have felt rotten all day because of them. I am being hit with a bill to put right a heating system that was never installed properly in the first place. It's just so unfair and I am thinking of taking action about it. And a dear neighbour got taken away in a police car, I think it was for drink driving. He is a kind person and I feel so sad for him and his family that he is drinking again. He had tried so hard and had stopped for ages.


Hope everyone else is ok ... hugs to anyone who wants one.

[Deleted User]

I`m one of those who was thinking that money is just flowing away, it just isn`t going as far as it used to and tbh its getting more difficult on a fixed income but the upside for us is that there is no worry about redundancy or having to make super human efforts to keep a job. Who would have believed in 2010 I would still be making a chicken and a cabbage do umpteen meals. I do feel grateful though to be in a warm and cosy house and to be mortgage free but just council tax on its own takes up far too big a proportion of my pension so we continually eat into savings

Only today I heard that the builder who still has to finish snagging and defects in our new house is mothballing the development due to lack of money and his joiner has been made redundant. So the rot of the recession is still here but worse in a way because we all had false hopes

mardatha

We were saying the same, thank god we dont have to fill up the car and go to work with all the worry that's around. And we too had chicken and cabbage
Life is a massive game of round & round the mulberry bush, innit !
My OH health is causing me a lot of worry, but he seems (fingers crossed so hard I canny type lol) to have settled a bit on this low-carb/high protein diet. Which is costing me a fortune as its all meat,fish,eggs, and veg. No fillers like potatoes and pasta. But what can we do , we have to eat !

jackieglasgow

lentils and beans have lots of protein in Mardatha, not as many as meat right enough, but they are a good substitute. Also, Quorn is good as a source of protein - would he eat that? If you have Lidl accessible to you, they do it cheaper and you could substitute meat with that even just once a week, its very low fat too, which will help him.x

starsandmoon

Im glad I bought the house I needed not wanted last year. The one I wanted was a new build 3 bed detached with a big garden and was £150,000. The house I needed was a 2 bed old terrace with a yard and £63,000. I probably wouldnt have got a mortgage for the £150,000 one. I would have been stretched to breaking point. Instead I was able to put down a decent deposit and keep some money to one side for jobs like damp proofing etc. My mortgage is quite small and although gardens are lovely I dont have time to tend one. As it is a Victorian house it still has all the rooms seperate, not knocked through, very handy for keeping the heat in!

In these tough times with jobs going and costs rising Im so glad I didnt stretch myself. Im also glad I didnt get a newer car but kept the one Ive got. No wonder I get called the Thrift Guru lol :rotfl:

parsonswife8

Well, my son, DIL and 2 grand daughters have been and visited.

Got some more lovely cards and prezzies and am well impressed with DIL's victoria sponge cake, it was really lovely.:T

I have had a lovely birthday.:D

Thanks again for all the birthday wishes, I really appreciate them, each and every one.:beer:

(((all)))

charlies-aunt

Whoa! its a full nights work keeping up with you all.Just wanted to pop on to reassure everyone regarding buying charity shop clothes that someone might have died in... TBH - its impossible that that this would happen... DH is a "Funeral Services Operative" and can assure everyone that if anyone dies in their clothes, the clothes either remain in situ under the shroud or if they are going to be replaced by clothes brought in by the family, they are cut off as its the quickest way to remove them and then binned as clinical waste for burning - as is all surplus clothing.

[Deleted User]

Mardatha, look into buckwheat. It isn`t a wheat but is a grain that is pretty high in protein and you serve it like rice