Advice needed please

welshmoneylover

Youngwoman wrote: »

I'm only in my early twenties. I've been like this since my mother can remember about the age of 10 as i lived in a violent home which triggered it off. I've attempted college so many times and about 5 different jobs all of which i've had to leave through so much upset and panic that i couldnt handle anymore and broke down so my mother forced me to the doctors as i was also living on no money to scared to do anything about it. I've been off work 2 years now but only been getting any benefits or treatment this year.

As i said i cant go out alone. My safe places are my house and were my car. Both things i can lock the door and stay away from people.

If you can't go out alone, how can you leave your house, walk to your car to pick a friend up to go to the shop?

Surely you'd be on your own at some point?

Youngwoman

I've already explained once that i can get in the car from my house because the drive where the car is parked is next to my door. If you look in the rest of this topic i have written about it. And no why would i be alone if my friend is with me? then i would have a friend with me and i wouldnt be alone.

anyway i didnt make this topic for about discussion on exactly what i can do i have many doctors and medicals for that.

paisley_lass

omg i cant believe the amount of people that have no idea what agoraphobia is really about...some of the comments have made me laugh...if only it was as simple as they think!!

support and help is scarce...i often think it comes down to large waiting lists and lack of funding. i am luckily now getting help through a local mental health team....however it is only available for 2 yrs max.

anyway i have no ideas for the op's question but just want to say good luck with the cbt x

Edinburgh65

I don't think that anyone is doubting the fact that the OP has health issues and agoraphobia, but to be fair, she is contradicting herself at times (ie, stating in capital letters that she cannot go anywhere, not even into her drive, but then saying that she could go into part of the drive). The thing that probably isn't sitting too well with people, is that she was asking whether or not she could get financial assistance to buy a luxury item. In addition to that, she also says that if that would not be possible, then she could do things the "hard" way, and save up for this car via her benefits. There are many working people for whom savings would simply be a pipe dream, and most people on benefits will be struggling to make ends meet, just to keep themselves fed and with a roof over their head. It just makes a mockery of the whole benefits system, if someone is getting so many benefits that they can contemplate having savings, and not only that, seem to be testing the waters to see if they might be able to get further assistance.

FBaby

I do feel sorry for you and your background and understand your desperation to try to get better and therefore be able to get a car. The problem is your priority. You think that if you get a car, you will be able to get out a bit and get better, but as you say, in the past, all it has allowed you to do is to go pick someone up to go somewhere. That's not huge progress and to be honest, not worth the public spending of a car. It didn't help you to get well enough to get close to getting back to normal life. What you need to do is focus on treating your fear and sense of panic so that you can reach a level when you can start facing the public, start a job, and then save for a car. What you need to focus on right now is to prepare yourself for CBT. It will require a lot of work and efforts on your part. You will have to push your limits and do things that scare you, but that is the only way to get out of that trap you are in at the moment. CBT is extremely successful for those who to give it all to make it work.

You are still so young, your all future ahead. You can make a difference in your life, but it will have to come from within first before you can see the rewards, and trust me, when you go shopping for the car that you've earned, the pleasure to drive it to take you somewhere pucliv will make you fell a million time better than to have a car thanks to tax payers that will only take you to pick up a friend.

Youngwoman

Thank you paisley lass

Edinburgh65 would you prefer it if i didn't claim what i clearly am allowed to get and lived on the streets? The amount of digging you've done too me. There are many people out there who live off benefits with 10 kids because they can and can not be bothered to work, maybe you should find them and give them a good dig.

Fbaby i don't believe getting a car will make me better at all, but as even my doctors have said that thing you see as not "huge progress" is huge progress for me and the doctors trying to help me. If i was able to go out in a car, it makes me use to being out in public, which would help my progress.

Vader123

I do think your better off going to somewhere like :

http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/

and finding your nearest help centre.

Failing that can't you get taxis? Or get the "best freind" to come pick you up?

Vader

welshmoneylover

Youngwoman wrote: »

Edinburgh65 would you prefer it if i didn't claim what i clearly am allowed to get

I don't think anyone is denying you any benefit that you are allowed to claim.

It does get people's backs up when posters come into this forum ASKING for more money.

nad1611

Edinburgh65 wrote: »

I am agog to see yet another post from someone who is looking for assistance to buy a car which is a luxury item and not a necessity of life, regardless of what someone''s medical diagnosis might be. Food, rent, heat are necessities, but luxuries need to be worked for and paid for by the individual. I was recently unemployed for 13 months (employed again now), but at the grand old age of 45 I have not had regular access to a car since I was 21, and although I know that it is no picnic to not have a car (given that I live 15 mins walk away from the nearest bus stop), it would not cross my mind to look for financial assistance with something like this. Benefits and help should not be used for trivialities like you are suggesting. First time I have ever been angry at anyone on this forum. As someone else suggested, you need a reality check!

I don't see how you can compare your time of unemployment with this woman. She is simply asking if anyone knows how she might get the help to get a car, she is not demanding the use of a car as a right, she hasn't said it's a necessity has she? She simply wants to give her life which is obviously extremely debilitating, some purpose. Who are you to decide what benefits and help should be for.

So you say that regardless of their medical condition cars are a luxury, so how is it then that thousands of people every year benefit from the Motability Scheme in England and Wales. Are you going to say the same thing to them. This system means that many people who can go out to work are only able to do so because the qualify for the benefit which allows use of this scheme. So actually for some it is a necessity and the point is they certainly (like this woman) couldn't possibly walk 15 minutes to the bus stop.

How do you know until you've been in this woman's shoes what would cross your mind to ask for help with. I'm quite sure it wouldn't have crossed her mind until she found herself in this situation.

I'm not saying in this case a car would be right but your off the cuff comments are not helpful.

popadom

nad1611 wrote: »

This system means that many people who can go out to work are only able to do so because the qualify for the benefit which allows use of this scheme. So actually for some it is a necessity and the point is they certainly (like this woman) couldn't possibly walk 15 minutes to the bus stop.


.

Not aimed at you^ but the system:
I have been out of school for two years and there is no help- ive looked at more education but no spaces, nor apprentichips in wales where i live- Why are they giving people with problems like this for £400 a month, why not job seekers or income support at £50 a week.. how unfair.

Ive fianlly got a job under future for jobs but i am getting only £20 a week more than benifits...i cant get a car or any help. Why can someone who "cant work" get so much help-there should be short waiting lists to get people like this off their bum, give help and in work.

I had/have depression and i went on esa as i was advised i could go on and get more help (i wanted more help for education-thank god of open uni!) i was on it for 1 month then came off.


I undersatand you were asking,but maybe not word it as such. If you want to go to in law you WILL need to get to like people, even the s.o.bs who you know are wrong but you may need to represent...they will not take "i dont like people/being with people" for answner in an interivew.

Im annoyed as im paying,yes little but still tax, tax on my £120 for people who say they want jobs (and i was there, i didnt want one, so i know both sides) and they give them handouts when i cant even get help to get a education!

Rant over and as i said not directed at anyone really.