Help! Smothered

dancingfairy

The payday loan trap is a nasty one - I would suggest having a look for a credit union as they lend people money specifically to get out of this kind of situation - they may be able to offer you a loan but it depends where you live and some expect you to save for a while first - even if it's a small amount - check out the local rules. If this isn't possible then yes you will need to go down the new bank account route.
With respect to your other question I'm not sure what you mean? you mean you have no money and you can't pay your rent/buy food etc? -what bills need paying this month still?
df

incher

DC34 wrote: »

Unfortuantely we did that.

She got me totally debt free, i then ran it up again as soon as she allowed me access to my own account again.

I am totally useless with managing money.

Sounds like it's time to hand the reins over to your partner again. And if you can't change your ways, I suggest she keeps hold of them for the forseeable future.

Ask your mum for more time, and then hand over.

Good luck!

dancingfairy

Groceries is a bit high but not madly excessive, however many on here do manage with a lot less due to either circumstances or through choice. I would suggest that your OH has a think about what cheap meals she can cook - have a look on Oldstyle for inspiration - you need to think batch cooking (ie make 2 spaghietti bolognese and freeze half), stretching meals out by bulking with vegetables, BOGOFS on things like tins, dried goods etc, meal planning to use up leftovers -ie roast chicken sunday, cold meat and chips monday, curry tuesday/stir fry etc etc and possibly even making a stock/soup with the carcass if you're really keen , also the things that are most expensive tend to be ready meals/processed foods and things like squash and biscuits which aren't good for you so baking is useful and fun for little ones and tastes better , also soups, stews etc with seasonal produce etc.
It is possible but if you've never done it I think it requires a bit of change in thinking and practice - oh and don't forget that Tesco/Saoinsburys tinned tomatoes etc don't taste much different in a meal than posh ones at twice the price - so many things are great in the cheap ranges and you can pay a lot for fancy packing of things.
df

DC34

If i switch bank accounts my credit file will be destroyed for 6 years i think?

Mind you my credit score is sitting at 513 at the moment and is dreadful anyway.

MrsTinks

What outgoings do you have for the remainder of the month? ie do you have enough fuel in the car? Can the missus not walk to school? Food - do a cupboard challenge... you'd be amazed how long you can carry on for without needing to buy much apart from maybe milk...
£80 per week? really? Wow... You know I think I'd struggle spending that on us and we're 2 adults and a toddler (so still need nappies)... And I can promise you we eat VERY well! Today forexample is beef stew, home made dumplings and mashed potato. That'll also do some lunches for little'un and possibly one for me or hubby Cost? Less than a fiver! (ok ok so there is a splash of redwine in there too but you don't NEED it... )
Then you have bolognaise sauce... bulk cook and freeze - can then either be used for lasagna, spagbol, chilli or even tacos or burritos... again works out very cheap. Buy veg when on offer and chop and freeze. Also makes cooking quicker I always have a bag of chopped onions, peppers, celery and swede in the freezer - picked up cheap when special offers are on and chopped and frozen.

Short term then we need to look at what cash you have (you AND your missus) and whilst she may have "bailed you out" before then remember that this is a PARTNERSHIP... My husband is a clutz with money, we know this... so as a result I'm his little voice in his ear when he's tempted to spend... I accept with him came some imperfections as I'm sure he did with me... Her washing her hands of the problem and you thinking it's all your fault isn't going to help anyone. After all she's had a lovely 5 years at home not working (and sorry to stay at home mums, it's nice when you can afford to, but if you can't then you need to face facts!) and spending £400-£500 a month on food... so not much cooking from scratch then! And why on earth are YOU taking the pub job and not her???
Anyway... If she can't find a temp job tell her to look on gumtree or advertise there herself... there are plenty of cleaning work out there at decent rates of pay - I pay £7.50 per hour for my selfemployed cleaner for 3 hours a week. She can do those when it suits her between monday-friday 8:30-18:00...
There is work if you're looking hard enough!

In case you wonder then my cleaner IS my luxury as I work FT and what time I have with my daughter is too precious to spend cleaning even if it does slow down my debt free date

dancingfairy

incher wrote: »

Sounds like it's time to hand the reins over to your partner again. And if you can't change your ways, I suggest she keeps hold of them for the forseeable future.

Ask your mum for more time, and then hand over.

Good luck!

I disagree - I think that you can LEARN to manage your money it just takes practise and once you've got out of this payday loan trap you can start saving up for things like holidays etc - put a bit away each month and then when it comes to bok you'll know how much you've got in that aco!!!! to spend. One or two mistakes does not mean you're doomed forever - heck no.
df

Tish_P

DC34, I'm seeing a lot of absolute statements here "I'm useless with money" and "I'm a helpless case". That's classic depressive thinking. If you think like this all the time then see your doctor (and I am truly sorry for you, depression sucks), but if you're just having a bad day then take a step back, sit down with a cuppa, and work through the figures with your partner.

With her help, you've got out of this kind of mess before. You can get out of it again, and you can develop habits that will stop you going back in. Loads of people on this board have been there, done that and will support you. Wishing you lots of luck with it.

MrsTinks

If you do the bank accounts thing then you HAVE to get your salary moved over into the new account ASAP or the PayDay Loans will hoover it all up the second they think you're in trouble... Make sure there is no facility for you to get a huge overdraft on the account too - if possible close it down entirely if you can... Do whatever you can to stop the payday companies from getting their flesh next month but yes it will register defaults on your account and if you have joint financial products with your wife then her rating will take a hit too! be warned! If that's the case you need to close any joint accounts as soon as possible.

DC34

Thanks for all your advice on the food, i will most certainly follow it.

But i am in real trouble at the mo, i am now about to out another payday loan as i have £20 for the rest of the month and them i am going to switch accounts.

Has anyone done this on this site, will they take me to court etc

DC

RAS

Loads of people have done it.

Yes they belly ache and make threats but if you can clear something ech month, you may be OK. Also if they take you for a CCJ and you pay off within the month, you can get it taken off your record.