Life after bankruptcy?

ani_26

beanielou wrote: »

ani~The offer still stands.

Thanks :D

ani_26

Hovel_lady wrote: »

Really pleased about the house :T
So glad to see you back xx

Not for long, but thanks

ani_26

MatyMoo wrote: »

Ani - you need to delete another pm or two!!!!!

Finally done. Sorry you've gone. Its been one of those days,and trying to execute a move at short notice, just threw up another problem, half an hour ago, like no van. I guess i'm on the stress waggon again, as i've had pains in my chest, all day, which i never usually get.


I've got lots to do. Will check in again when i can. Thanks Maty :A

ani_26

Thank god. Its over. I don't ever want to move, again. The stress has made me physically ill, this week. At least it didn't snow, but now i'm concerned about the wisdom of moving back there, as there is heavy snow forecast for saturday, and temperatures of -14, or was it -4? I can't remember. I can't even remember if i had a shower this morning. Maybe i did? I don't know.


But i'm happy with my four walls and a roof, and i count myself extremely lucky with my lot.

beanielou

Hopefully you will feel more settled really soon & the rent will be much more reasonable.
Take care.

SazM030306

Good luck in your new abode Ani! So glad you're still around xxx

ani_26

Ha. New figurres released today are expected to show repossession rose significantly at the end of last year. Never out of the news, to be honest, is it? Or is it that you only notice or care about these things if they directly affect you. A work colleague has maybe got an employed job. Must be hitting them bad too. I know it was, they have a mortgage to be paid, too. It must be getting to crunch time. Got to have a regular income to pay the old mortgage, hey? For that matter, the rent.


I don't have these problems anymore, do i? Just ring the council and say, hey, this needs doing, and they do it? I've yet to see how well this system performs, but tecninally, i believe i'm entitled to a brand spanking new kitchen. Chosen and designed by me. But not paid for by me. Well. Technically i suppose you could say i have paid fpr it. After all, i've paid tax and NI for 40 years. Might get some repairs to the bathroom too. I believe a have a loft which is fully insulated, ( though i've yet to check), and a central heating system that works like a dream. It doesn't grind, clank and groan. You don't even know it's on. Seems like its a new boiler and new radiators. Blooooody good, this social housing, although in this area, any service seems to perform better than in other areas.



One wonders why anyone ever wants to their own property? They must be mad. Renting is more common in the rest of europe, isn't it? Why were you exxpected to aspire to own your own property? Enough of that carp.

Still waiting for my claim for hb to be assessed, which takes several weeks, i'm told. In the meantime i'm keeping my head down, because i now owe two weeks rent which i don't have and supposed to have paid. They don't mess around, councils, do they? Its gone bad on the work front again, but on the plus side, it will give me time to unpack and get sorted. My feet haven't touched the ground in the last week, and i'm exhasted. Even complete strangers say i look tired. Thats an understatement. Looking forward to spending some time in my new home and making it a home? Did i say a home? and not as someone said, an abode? Got sweet neighbours too, and they are just pleased i've not come out of prison. Well maybe i have :rotfl::rotfl:


Still can't afford a phoneline and therefore internet access, at the moment. I've chosen my supplier, but don't know if i'll ever save the the deposit required. Saving is a whole different ball game, to surviving. I still don't have the funds to eat, on a regular basis, which is proabaly just as well, since i don't have any kitchen white goods :rotfl::rotfl:, although i was looking at a toaster for a fiver the other day, i reluctantly decided it was too much of a luxury. The fiver is still sitting in my bank account waiting to go towards the rent they may demand. Every penny i have, is sitting there, waiting to go towards the rent. There still isn't enough, though. Nothing ever changes there, then. At least i could have had toast and crumpets. Ah well, thats the way it goes.

Mm, i tried to send you a pm but your inbox was full


Back into no contact with the outside world. I wonder what happened tp my ski's? I haven't seen them since i moved first time.

ani_26

Ha. Today's news. Follows repo doesn't it? B*y's boss bonuses of 10 million pounds, amounting to an annual package of 11.5 million. Its mind boggling, isn't it? MInd blowing, 11.5 million pa.

What would you do with 11.5 million? To keep saying it, is the closest i will ever come to " having it ". How would you spend it? I wonder what your mortgage repayments are? Maybe you've already bought your own home? Maybe you are in debt. Now that WOULD be hilarious, if you were in debt, just like the rest of us :rotfl: Maybe your annual debt repayments are 23 million :rotfl: :rotfl:





I'm off " home " today, to start my new life. I've hardly spent any time there at all, since i moved in, and i'm looking forward to making the place liveable, a home. The work has dried up, for now, so i'll make the most of getting the place sorted out. Looks like i'll have to repack the kitchen, ( the kitchen being the only room i had unpacked ). Sods law, isn't it? Never mind. Finally got in touch with the people doing the survey on the house, and they are ringing early next week, and it looks possible the kitchen might be sooner rather than later, as they are in the area for two weeks. Shame, but never mind. I wasn't to know i'd receive the letter, and its just as well i decided to be sociable with my neighbours. I wouldn't have known, otherwise. Bless their cotton socks, they are in their 80's and 90's. Makes me positively a spring chicken. Although its taken what seems like a long time to be homed, my neighbours said they had been on the list for 17 years, i know i'm fortunate already. Quite a short spell of being homeless. in the grand scheme of things?



Got a small amount of pay, now. I don't know what to do with it? A payment has been taken by the council today, but i don't know exactly what its for, until i ring them. Is it for rent? It must be. I did the online calculations with various permutations and all said i would pay 1p rent. How did i know this was too good to be true? I desperately need phone and internet, ( for work purposes ), and i'm tempted to try and set this up today, now i've a bit of pay, but if they need £400 deposit like the energy people, its a definite no no, and i want to avoid footprints on my credit file. There's enough there already. I'm never going to be debt free or rebuild my credit rating.


Debt free huh?



Life after bankruptcy means i'm now a debt free wannabe. I'm in a shocking amount of debt. The only way i've been able to survive, is by selling or pawning whatever i could, and with payday loans. Which all amounts to huge amounts of rolling interest per month. Its costing me everything i earn to roll my debts over every month, because of the cash flow problems. Add on to that, a company owes me for two jobs i did for them, which amounts to a third of my annual income. Its now 5 months and 3 months after i did the work, respectiviely. I want them to take me to court, because i can't afford to take them to court, but enough is enough. I can't afford to work for nothing and they owe me too much money, its too much to forget about this time. Its worth the hassle. As soon as i'm settled and i have the internet set up, i intend to apply through the small claims court, online. I've had some free legal advice and apparently i can apply for legal aid, but i will still have to pay something? This is always the crunch point, because if i have to pay anything at all, its impossisble. They have me over a barrel. All that hard work for nothing. NO. I'm determined to make them pay me. They have broken their side of the contract. I just don't want any more stress and the stress of going to court. I want as eassier life. This is me you're talking about. When was life, ever easy?


Better do this in two parts before i lose some

ani_26

When you add up the amount of debt i'm in, i guess i've had a shortfall of maybe £4k a year, this last two years, so i'd probably be able to survive on an income of £10k a year. I'm pretty frugal, huh? I get by on the basics these days, and most times, not even them. It IS just survival. It isn't life. I'm looking for a salary i can SURVIVE on. This includes rent, all utilities, things which HAVE to be paid, before you take into account anything else like food.


I've found it quite depressing at times, coming on mse, especially when you are struggling so much. I've found it heartbreaking to read posts from individuals stating they shop at waitrose online, they have cancelled their gym membership for a month, or they have cancelled their £100 wine subscriptions fora month, how very mse. It's a different world to mine, for sure. £100 a month for wine. WOW. Even at my most affluent, i wouldn't have spent this on wine. Wow, thats alot of money. I was looking at some of the site generally, yesterday, and realised, in truth, its of little use for someone in my situation. My credit rating is still such, no company will touch with a bargepole, so i can't shop around for this or that company to get the best deal, for whatever it may be. I have to take whatever company i can, once i've got a company, i have to stick with them, for now. Which means ensuring i pay the bills.



And wealth creation? Isn't this why the economy has reached the state it is currently in. Greed. I want this. Much has more. How to get more.


What do you really need?


Unboubtably, a roof over your head, as the air conditioning is working overtime outside , at the moment.


Happiness. Raw happiness, that is.

Family. Value your family.


Maybe i SHOUlD write a book, or create a website, ( for this i would need help). How to cope when it all goes ptong.

Me. Now. I'm looking to keep a roof over my head. One day, i've got to start paying off these payday loans, one by one. One day, maybe i'll be able to buy back the one or two sentimental iitems, i still had remaining. Maybe i shoud let go, but ultimately, my mother's wedding ring is irreplacable. How desperate are you to pawn these items in the first place? Maybe some of you will never know, never reach this place. The place where no life is better than life. You have to have been there to know.



The basics in life are what is important. Fresh air, the birds, trees, animals, the sea, the sky, people. Nothing else matters. Lists, ironing, cleaning, mind mapping. Its all stress about nothing. I've experienced stress to extremes, undoubtably, and paid the price. Maybe i STILL don't like being organised. I never will. There's no tenth commandment anywhere saying you should be. So why does everyone say you have to be? You can't get a job if you don't say you're super uber organised :eek: Stuff that. In your own time, is my motto. You need it to be motivated? Hell, how could anyone be any more motivated. You have to be motivated if you are self employed, otherwise you would never get out of bed in the morning. Yes, i'm still self employed. Still plodding, beanie No, i don't earn enough money. Have to wait and see how much support i get from the state. God knows i've earned it. I'm well known for being a grafter. At least i've still managed to maintain my work reputuation.


Rather gone off into rambling mode, now - another page

ani_26

Emotionally its hard to believe what a difference the security of having a roof over your head, can make. I've liked it here, but never afforded it the luxury of calling it home. You can't describe how it makes you feel when things are so bad. No confidence, no self esteem, no money, no personality, no anything. Just a walking corpse.

A colleague said to me the other day, you are stronger than that. Yes. Its just an illusopn i create. I'm not really. But against all the odds, i've made it, haven't i? Everything hinges on having somewhere to live, and help accordingly. I've not taken any happy pills to aid my mood, ( maybe i should have ), Its all been my raw emotion.


Its hard to imagine just a short time ago, i'd had four opportunities. Four perfect opportunities, and i'd contemplated it, each time. What was the strength or weakness which prevented me? Or maybe i'm just a plain coward, but i just couldn't do it. two weeks ago when i'd collected ani, the day i got the letter about the tenancy when i arrived back. Even then i'd stood and looked. Maybe i hadn't reached that ultimate point. My target. Its always has been. The point at which i physically slept on a pavement somewhere. That was the cut off point, the point of no return, the point at whaich i said, no, the alternative is the way forward.



I'm finding it too draining, the emotional stuff. Maybe another time.

I'm grateful to those who have talked to me, and answered my questions, for which i thank you. Sadly, most of the people i remember from the beginning, no longer post? Or at least no under the names i remember them by. You probably saved my life, at that point. No this is too emotional, too.



For now. See about a phone connection before i go. Stop f*g around on the internet. Get home and start unpacking. Got some walking to do, after all, its free. Live for the moment, time enough to start worrying about how to pay off my debts. Life is too short, don't they say? The main obstacle is overcome. I have a home.One that i've had to fight for, every inch of the way, and not one that someone else is buying or providing for me.