The 'anti-bride' and - is anybody *really* on a budget??

missknixon

Ours is costing us £4000 for 40 guests in the day and 100 in the evening!

The registrar cost £450, the photographer £350 (also having my brother as his back-up taking the candid shots), our venue is costing £2000, the outfits are costing £400. I am majorly organised and have a spreadsheet where everything is listed - didn't want to sneak the odd £1 here and the odd £1 there! Have included everything!

lindaatno9

Hi Silaqui and congrats.
Money saving or budge,t however you look at it, doesn't mean spending a little as possible on your wedding day. It means spending where you think it's most necessary like the photos (as these will be the ONLY window to your day) and where you don't need to spend at all like favours or save the date (yay, I got my first one yesterday from a client!)
When I got married we spent around £1,500. We had 15 guests, no photographer, which I deeply regret, and I made my dress, cake, flowers and bridesmaids dresses. I did my own hair and make-up too. My dress cost me £25 for the materials! Our main and important costs were the venue, registrar and food so that's where the money went.
If you don't want to spend all that cash for one day, nip to your local registry office during a weekday, you'll then get married for next to nothing if that really is what it's all about. (marrying I mean)
For me it was about marrying my super husband, but how I married him was just as important. :beer:

chelbel1981

Silaqui wrote: »

Hey COMP I have migrated here from PAD hehe...

We are sort of the same, I would be happy with literally the rings and bit of paper, he wants a huge do... surely thats the wrong way round lol!

Well we knew it would have to be in church because my nan and grandad would love to see it, I'm not too bothered either way so it seemed a bit selfish to say no when I know it would make them (and bf!) really happy! So he got on the phone and booked it in, there was only one possible date it could be really due to school holidays and stuff so he's put it for then which I'm happy with, we have had some discussion about budgets but as I earn a lot more than him it'll be mainly me paying so I hold the purse strings!

I guess we will actually have to sit down and decide what we want then work out how we can get as close to it as we can!

xx

That's most of your budget gone then. Ours is costing £785 :eek:

Silaqui

Hi again everybody Wow thankyou for all the replies, I don't think I've ever started a thread with so many :rotfl: nice friendly bunch on here it must be all the happy wedding vibes!

There is a possibility of taking the budget higher if it's absolutely neccessary (which it looks like it will be, damn everyone's expectations!) I thinkit's just that having been mse for so long it seems shocking to spend that amount on a single day, IYSWIM.

maggie111 wrote: »

It entirely depends on the amount of people you want to invite and how hospitable you want to be as to how cheap your wedding is. See if it was me I would have 12 family guests, and my 2 best mates plus partners. Unfortunately my bf wants to invite his entire family, aunts uncles and cousins, who he only sees once in a blue moon. 47 people! How can I nicely suggest he tone this down? (Also I'm scared to be centre of attention in front of that many people I don't even know, I don't even want to do that bit in front of my own family )
I'm not purely thinking of this from a money pov, it's also the fact that some of these people have never made an effort to come down and see us, when he visits his hometown it's always him who treks round to visit everyone - does that really warrant a wedding invite? (especially to the church bit). Problem is I think he's feeling because they have to travel a fair way, it would be unfair to bring them down just for the evening and also he doesn't want to be shunned by not inviting them! :rotfl: Only problem is I don't really have a leg to stand on because I'd probably have my aunties/uncles/cousins there, only difference is for me that totals 6 people who see each other regularly (despite them living in London), not 40 who never bother! But I guess the prolific breeding isn't his fault... OMG rambling sorry...
Wedding breakfast - £5 per head for McDonalds :rotfl: including an icecream dessert. including you and your H2B that's £160. If you wanted somewhere with a little more class, or somewhere they served alcohol and you didn't do your own catering - £10 per head so say £320 I suggested buying in a job lot of Dominoes Pizza but my bloke refused is that so bad? Everyone loves pizza!
It's difficult to get married for under £500 nowadays for the simple fact you have to pay at £70 to give notice and then other fees to actually get married. You can absolutely just say "We're going to this registry office on the 17th May 2011, if you want to see us get married please come" and then get married, say thanks for coming and leave. But if people are travelling a long way just be wary that some people in your family might think you're a little bit obliged to offer them a bit of hospitality like food and some venue of some kind to host a celebration. And these things are certainly not dead cheap.
I guess so.. maybe I'm being a bit hopeful/unrealistic/naive/gutted at having to spend so much :rotfl:

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I thought we could do without save the dates, but even though I've sent people a text with the date on, every time I go to see my mum's family they ALWAYS ask when the wedding is. Hmm true, couldn't be doing with that!

Your OH has obviously been thinking about the wedding for a little while, whereas you've got some catching up to do. Yep - it's like he's been dreaming about it since he was a little boy! :rotfl:I'm sat here now typing this and he's just said "you know what, I'm really looking forward to getting married,". Feel a bit guilty for not being that excited Perhaps you could suggest to him that the two of you write down a list of things that are really important to you from the day i.e. non-negotiable. That's a good idea.

lindaatno9 wrote: »

Hi Silaqui and congrats. Thankyou
If you don't want to spend all that cash for one day, nip to your local registry office during a weekday, you'll then get married for next to nothing if that really is what it's all about. (marrying I mean) I really would be happy with that but problem is I know that neither he nor my family would be and I feel it's selfish not to go along with their wishes when I don't have any preference myself, if that makes sense? The only things I won't do are have a first dance or do that silly walk down the aisle!
For me it was about marrying my super husband, but how I married him was just as important. :beer: awww!

I thought I multiquoted you Chelbel but it didn't take, really is it costing that much? My bf rang the church we are planning and the church bloke said it's £360ish then extra for flowers, bells and organist. My grandad is an active member of the church (thats why I want it there) so I'm hoping he can get us a discount on that stuff. :rotfl: (not really) I don't really like organ music but my bf said well if you don't have anything then it'll just be really quiet which is true I guess!

Wow thank was a marathon post, I think I'm just sort of spilling my thoughts out.. (Don't worry I will talk to my bf about what I want/don't want to - I just need some thinking space first!)

Thanks for reading... guys... hello? Hey wake up!!! :rotfl::rotfl:
xx

bubbles0169

im awake!!:rotfl:
im so embarrassed by how much our wedding DAY is costing, we have to invite all the family,60 em and i want friends there too
i wanted it in a pretty place which had to be big enough for the day guests going into 140/150 for the evening
my h2b isnt happy with getting a 'cheap' suit from the high st so is going one up and having one for £99
my dress will be a biggun but itl be second hand but still dear
the majority is being spent on the venue(ceremony there) and food/drink for every one although were having a cheaper hog roast option in the evening
it is obscene just for one day but its what we want:o
what about hiring your local hall for a buffet reception? you can decorate it and get all your stuff cheaply from supermarkets

ailuro2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2736449

OP, did you see this, is it close enough for you?:D

Silaqui

Ailuro, I got a withering look and a "don't even think about it" when I showed my bloke that this morning!! :A

Hey Bubbles, I love the idea of a hog roast but have a few veggies coming and don't want to offend their sensibilities From the little bits I've been looking it seems like you get a better deal in a lot of places to have the ceremony in the same place rather than moving there afterwards so at least you are perhaps saving some there..!

I've thought about hiring a hall and maybe doing a booze cruise/tesco shop type thing but it's finding one thats big enough for all oh's people along with my little clan and close enough to the church for people not to need to faff about with too much transport! I guess thats where the research comes in

xx

ambyence

Hi Silaqui, and congrats on getting engaged!

I could have written your original post myself - I don't understand spending loads on one day (but if that's what makes other people happy then fair play to them:T). I too questioned why am I not more excited and girly about it all. I also have a groomzilla :eek: but for me, and this is only my opinion, I don't need the big day, I just want to be married to him .

We got engaged in February, and have spent the last few months talking A LOT, and compromising on a shedload of things. (A good basis for married life, I hope! )

I think the non-negotiable list suggestion is a brilliant idea. :T

I have a ridiculously big family, my original (hypothetical) guest list was over 200. If I were to invite everyone, including great-auntie whoever and all of my cousins, plus their partners and kids, that could double easily :eek:. My OH put his foot down, and we are now on a limit of 130 total, split between both sides.

I appreciate you are looking for the best deals possible and with our particularly massive guest list and the associated circumstances this may not all apply - however, this is what we've got so far:
The venue we have found is gorgeous, with lovely grounds, and cheaper than the original (and dowdier) venue that let us down. We're having both the ceremony and reception there to save travel costs. For guest accommodation, there are cottages in the grounds and an adjacent campsite, plus nearby hotels - we will be sending out details of all of these with the invites. We considered save the date cards but just told everyone instead, and will be sending out invites 4-6 months beforehand. We've negotiated with the marquee company to get a cheaper deal (40%-ish off - one of my BMs is an events organiser and said most companies prefer to have cheaper deals booked for forthcoming years than none at all!), then added in extras for free by being cheeky and just asking nicely, and also have agreed to pay them in cash so foregoing VAT (£300 ish saved). We're doing a deal with a local restaurant, who will cater the evening meal for about a third of the price we would be paying for local wedding caterers who round here charge at least £30-40 per head excluding drinks. We've ordered wine and champagne by the case online at around 50% discount and negotiated with the venue that they won't charge corkage.
I shopped around for my dress and got the best price possible, and am now hunting for bargains with my bridesmaids for their dresses.

So we're still working on the whole thing, but you have lots of time to look for bargains, and remember to haggle! You never know what bargains you might find
Hope some of this is of help, but most of all, enjoy the planning!

hellokitty08

I guess it depends whats most important to you. My sister plans to get married in 6 weeks time. She is going to spend £130 on giving notice and the register office, and £100 on both the rings.

so its only going to cost her £230.

I said I would pay for her dress, looking up to £100 off the high street or ebay.

£25 for a mans suit from Asda, his parents are going to buy that.

I am also insisting she has flowers, so hopefully my mum will buy them. Im not going to let her sepnd more then £30 on a small bouquet and the botton hole for groom only.

She will probably make her own wedding cake if she has one, so that will be about £20-£30. She might not bother.

Then we are inviting anyone who would like to join us for dinner, dont know where yet, but they will be told they will need to pay for them selves.

So yes if you want to you can have a wedding on a budget.

minerva_windsong

I think a save the date card is good if you're having your wedding at a busy time of year, such as in school summer holidays or around Christmas - my sister's wedding was in December so she had them for the people she really wanted there, but my other sister whose wedding was in March didn't have them as it wasn't such a busy time of year.

If you fancy doing it on the cheap Premier Inn have just launched a £199 wedding package which looks quite good: http://www.premierinn.com/en/news/news_category/premier-inn-wedding-package-121.html

I'm probably not going to get married for a while but have already thought about how to economise (high street dress, doing own hair and make-up, late afternoon wedding and buffet so no need to feed everyone twice, registry office etc). The only thing I know I'll spend a lot of money on is pictures (at my mum's insistence because she got cheap pictures and absolutely hates them), but I have a friend who takes the most amazing reportage pictures and specialises in weddings so I might be able to get mates' rates on that...