The 'anti-bride' and - is anybody *really* on a budget??

Silaqui

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this board as I've just got engaged, but have been reading up on wedding stuff as my boyfriend has been a groomzilla and sneakily set the date (probably just as well as I'd have forgotten lol). It's not till summer 2012 but I like things organised and out of the way so I don't have to think about things too much!:beer:

Anyway - I have been reading up on here expecting to see MSE weddings for pennies but people seem to be spending thousands and thousands on it! :eek:

Maybe I'm a party pooper but I just don't see the point in spending all that cash on one day? Bf has a big family who need to travel a long way so I know I need to be realistic in terms of supplying food etc for them but I'm hoping to get everything done for less that £1500, preferably less (I'm not paying for their hotels!). Anyone else in this boat? My bloke has started calling me the 'antibride'! :rotfl:

The more I read the more I'm starting to think I'm so not cut out for this wedding stuff... I have no idea about anything because I've never really been interested in it! (Hence wanting the planning out of the way :rotfl:)

Also if anyone is reading this, can you answer the following question... what on earth is a 'save the date'? Is that what used to be called an invitation?

Thanks,
Silaqui

shellsuit

A 'save the date' can be a card or fridge magnet, and is given to people so they can 'save the date' in their diaries or book the day off work.

Normal invites are generally given out about 3 months before the wedding, so with a save the date, people have more notice.

They don't have to be given, they're just anther money making gimmick ~ says she who gave them out lol!

mimosaurus

hi silaqui, congrats on your engagement

i think what you're suggesting is possible, but to be honest it's really extremely difficult and you have to make a lot of sacrifices - especially if you have a lot of family or other guests.

we're spending £4k for 50 guests, we have cut a lot of corners, ignored tradition completely, my dress cost £75, groom bought a titanium ring cost £17, we're using our own car for transport, venues were almost entirely decided by cost (we were just extremely lucky that they're also perfect;)) i could go on and on. it has been hard work to make it happen within that budget, and yes there are things that we could have saved even more on but we have already made huge sacrifices.

there are loads of ways to keep costs down and the people on this forum love to help with that - but to be sticking within that budget, i thnk you are going to have to be very flexible and watch the pennies - its the little things that add up.

and for me, i've wanted the wedding planning to be FUN as well as moneysaving, i think if you have to be incredibly strict with things that it takes away a little of the enjoyment - it's nice to buy nice things for the day! of course it's really important to stick within a budget though!

best of luck - look forward to seeing your plans! xx

clearing_out_my_pockets

Hello Silaqui! Welcome to the wedding board.

You can spend as much (or as little) as you want on your wedding day, but it will need to be a balance between what you and OH want from the day. I wanted something really small, OH wanted something massive. We've gone for something in between.

If OH has set a date, have you both sat down and discussed budget, expectations, etc?

Silaqui

Hi both, thanks for your replies Ah I see so the save the date is like a kind of pre-invite, I might just text everyone instead haha!

I am prepared to be flexible - I'm not that fussy about things it's the getting married that I'm bothered about! I'd have been happy to get married in a registry office with no fuss but my bloke and parents don't want that so I am just going along with what everyone else wants... I have the feeling I will end up putting my foot down a lot!

There are a lot of corners I can cut - I can make my own invitations, can't stand flowers so won't bother with them if I can help it. I think I'm probably quite lucky because there's nothing I really want, so not having things won't feel like a 'sacrifice' to me.

I want people to enjoy it though so I guess I will have to give in to some whims... maybe I should up the budget to 2k lol

As soon as I have some plans I'm sure I will be posting!

xx

Silaqui

Hey COMP I have migrated here from PAD hehe...

We are sort of the same, I would be happy with literally the rings and bit of paper, he wants a huge do... surely thats the wrong way round lol!

Well we knew it would have to be in church because my nan and grandad would love to see it, I'm not too bothered either way so it seemed a bit selfish to say no when I know it would make them (and bf!) really happy! So he got on the phone and booked it in, there was only one possible date it could be really due to school holidays and stuff so he's put it for then which I'm happy with, we have had some discussion about budgets but as I earn a lot more than him it'll be mainly me paying so I hold the purse strings!

I guess we will actually have to sit down and decide what we want then work out how we can get as close to it as we can!

xx

mimosaurus

i've just looked at our list of spending.. just to give you an idea.. we spent £560 on wedding insurance, notice of marriage and registrar. then £220 (which was literally the cheapest we could find, with the exception of registry office) on the ceremony room, then the best part of £600 on food for 50 - we opted to include tea, coffee and petits fours on our buffet which took the prices up from £8 per head to £11 per head and we are lucky that this price includes fully staffed bar, chair covers and a fantastic bar manager who has been the ultimate in help!!

so that's where £1380 went if my maths is up to anything.. and that's before we made our handmade invitations, got rings, wine for tables (which of course is optional but we wanted to do) and bubbly for toasting, entertainment (again we went for the cheapest option that suited us, but that was still a fair wack), clothes for ourselves and the (small) wedding party, invitations, transport costs, hotels for us (we have also paid for some others due to circumstances of family but obviously those would be optional), decorations (we have gone with homemade centrepieces - still cost the best part of £30 for 6 tables and i can't be arsed with adding anything else, seems a total waste to buy confetti etc), the cake, gifts for the (numerous!) people who are doing us a favour, etc etc...

so when i say that you need to make sacrifices.. i don't mean that you can't have the extras that some weddings pile on... i mean that we have found ourselves working really hard to get even the very basic food and ceremony on the cheap!

maggie111

It entirely depends on the amount of people you want to invite and how hospitable you want to be as to how cheap your wedding is.

If you wanted to invite 30 people and feed them the cheapest food at a venue and not say, your own home the minimum you'd have to spend is something like:

Rings - £0 if you don't need them, £100 ish for the cheapest ish
Registry office/church - £300 ish. Can be cheaper at the registry office. Cheaper if not on a Saturday. £0 if you're doing a non legal ceremony
Invites - £0 via Facebook, £10 at their cheapest ish.
Outifts - £0 if you wear what's in your wardrobe. I don't think you'd realistically get it any lower than £200 if you need new for you and H2B
Wedding breakfast - £5 per head for McDonalds including an icecream dessert. including you and your H2B that's £160. If you wanted somewhere with a little more class, or somewhere they served alcohol and you didn't do your own catering - £10 per head so say £320
Accommodation for your wedding night perhaps? £0 if at home, £50 cheapest if staying at a hotel
Honeymoon - free if you choose to holiday at home, but bear in mind the little costs like "we're celebrating, let's go to the cinema" whilst you're honeymooning at home. Cheap splurges for a week - perhaps £50?


So - a very budget no frills wedding with some things like rings but not things like flowers has come in at £970/

It's difficult to get married for under £500 nowadays for the simple fact you have to pay at £70 to give notice and then other fees to actually get married. You can absolutely just say "We're going to this registry office on the 17th May 2011, if you want to see us get married please come" and then get married, say thanks for coming and leave. But if people are travelling a long way just be wary that some people in your family might think you're a little bit obliged to offer them a bit of hospitality like food and some venue of some kind to host a celebration. And these things are certainly not dead cheap.

For me weddings start at - how many people do you want to invite? If you and your fiance went out for dinner how much would you averagely pay per person? Times the two amounts and then build from there.

Just because you're happy to make your own invites doesn't make it "cheap". You could buy a pack of 10 wedding invitions for £2 that you fill out your details on in biro - so they could cost as little as £4 for 30 guests. My £20 figure above factors in getting them from Vistaprint, during their "free" days, delivery charges and stamp costs.

The little things build up. The fewer little things you can do without, like new shoes, umbrella, petals, table diamonds, button holes, wedding favours etc the cheaper your wedding is but generally you still start out with high costs.

I completely forgot to add photography costs - free if a guest takes them - but then don't forget to factor in the charge to print them, put them in an album, frame them etc.

clearing_out_my_pockets

I do all of my wedding chat here. It's so much nicer than You and Your Wedding. Angelic also doesn't like the wedding stuff overtaking the PaD thread!

I thought we could do without save the dates, but even though I've sent people a text with the date on, every time I go to see my mum's family they ALWAYS ask when the wedding is.

Your OH has obviously been thinking about the wedding for a little while, whereas you've got some catching up to do. Perhaps you could suggest to him that the two of you write down a list of things that are really important to you from the day i.e. non-negotiable. For us, my list was:

1) I wanted a venue within walking distance of a station so my family could come
2) I wanted my church, not just a pretty one!
3) The date should be far enough in advance for my dad to learn to walk unaided again
4) I don't want a three course wedding breakfast
5) I do not want a receiving line

From that list, OH realised I was more focussed on the marriage than the day itself!

clearing_out_my_pockets

Ooh also if you're looking for a weddingy but not too expensive dress, go to monsoon. That's where my 'evening' wedding dress came from. That sounds so un-MSE!

AnneWorkman

I'm looking for ways I can have a wedding I enjoy, while keeping to a budget we can afford. The compromise is under £2k to get married in the next 2 years, or wait 3-5 years to have a larger budget. Am just starting to look around and get some ideas of cost to see what I can do for the budget.