Bridesmaid issues.............UPDATED

evie-mays-mum

Rightly or wrongly I dont think id have her as my bridesmaid as she is obviously going out of her way to make everything hard for you.

I would either turn it round on her and say "look I know from your lack of enthusiasm that you really dont want to be my moh and you may feel you will offend me by saying so,i dont want you to feel uncomfortable or that iv put you in a position where you cant say no to me,so it doesnt matter about being a bridesmaid i want you to enjoy the day and think you will enjoy it better by being just a guest"

OR
tell her to stop being so bloody selfish,its your day and one of the few times you can have what you want when you want it!All of my bridesmaides bent over backwards for me and if i would have told them they were wearing lime green tutus and hopping down the aisle behind me i am in no doubt that they would have done it.
:j

jenhug

:money:

poppyscorner wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice everyone

We're still at loggerheads unfortunately

I spoke to her following my posting here I told her I loved her and I really wanted her to be my bridesmaid and I am asking her to wear the shoes for 2 hrs max she can change after if she liked she was about to argue with me when I said to her what did she think I should do and I brought up all of her behaviour so far and this is the thing I am not prepared to change she is refusing to even try the shoes on.

She initially said nothing and then launched into a slagging off of my wedding saying she thinks its ridiculous that shoes are important and she doesn't agree with my colour scheme (red and black do not go apparently) I dropped her off at home and said no more.

I saw her again at my mothers house today she was full of herself still saying she isn't doing it blah blah blah

I now just feel like I don't wanna waste my money on her I don't see why I should she is behaving like a brat I am absolutely furious with her I'm not changing things to suit her stubbornness I'm currently trying to work out how to tell her I don't want her to be my bridesmaid anymore I can't handle the stress (but still arguing with myself that that is not nice and I shouldn't do that) I am just gobsmacked at how she is behaving.

Sorry if thats a rant just feel sad and really really cross xx

To be honest, it sounds like she is saying she doesn't want to be part of it anyway.

shellsuit

Just tell her if she won't wear the bridesmaid outfit, then she can wear whatever she likes and come as a guest.

Short, sharp and simple.

bubbles0169

i agree with the others about not having her and i think red and black sounds fab!!
what are you details?

csh_2

Nothing to add to the original probelm but my scheme is black and red too! And its fab colours, they go beautifully and she can go fish x x x lol

jlas

Maybe you could ask her to be a witness instead like someone else suggested? That way she can wear what she likes and you're still including her in the wedding??

I work alot of weddings and trust me, red and black looks stunning!

Good luck!

minerva_windsong

It seems harsh but if she's saying she doesn't want to do it I'd say, "Fine, you're not a bridesmaid any more" and make your other friend the MoH. I wouldn't even offer her the chance to do a reading or be a witness - who's to say she wouldn't kick off about that somehow?

I was a bridesmaid for both my sisters and both times had quite a bit of say in how I looked (how I wanted my hair, whether I wanted in with the make-up artist, choice of shoes etc), but I was always aware that it was their day and if they'd specifically asked for me to wear or do something then I was in no place to argue with them.

poppyscorner

bubbles0169 wrote: »

i agree with the others about not having her and i think red and black sounds fab!!
what are you details?

Sorry bubbles don't quite understand the question :rotfl:think i'm having a blonde day !!

Do you mean like accessory colours ? They are silver lol

xx

poppyscorner

dmshbp wrote: »

All of my bridesmaides bent over backwards for me and if i would have told them they were wearing lime green tutus and hopping down the aisle behind me i am in no doubt that they would have done it.
:j

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:if i wasn't so stressed out I would seriously consider telling her that was her outfit and sit back to watch her blow lol

I am also appointed as a MOH for one of my friends who is getting married April next year I have been nothing but supportive to her have said I'll wear whatever she likes we have been shoe shopping together but she found some she liked and they fit nicely so I'm happy with them I'm very much a go with the flow kinda gal

xx

poppyscorner

shellsuit wrote: »

Just tell her if she won't wear the bridesmaid outfit, then she can wear whatever she likes and come as a guest.

Short, sharp and simple.

Defo think thats my way forward shell I usually hate saying anything that may upset someone but in this case she hasn't gave a damn about upsetting me when she is slagging everything off on a regular basis

xx