Dummy debate

ellay864

I hated the idea of them but my health visitor suggested I get one with DS1 as he would have permanently glued to my boob otherwise. He breastfed well, spoke normally and from a young age we made sure the dummy was not a permanent toy. By the age of 2 the dummy was for sleep times. He'd have it for a nap but when he got up he gave it back. If he tried to get hold of 'dodie' then we said it must be sleepy time and would put him in his chair...he got the message very quickly! He had it for sleep for a while longer but it usually fell out very quickly and never bothered him...it was realy no different to going to bed with his favourite teddies, it was just another thing to add to his bed companions! Did the same with DS2 and equally no problems. I would never be judgemental about the use of them though I do agree with those who've said they hate seeing older toddlers running round with them during the daytime

angelicmary85

Lalaladybird wrote: »

So do most mums who give their lo's dummies....doesn't make us bad mummies!

I didn't mean it like that, sorry if you took any offence. I just meant that I don't like them so I wouldn't stick a dummy in a child's mouth for 'peace'

[Deleted User]

I'm probably going to shock a lot of you now then by saying this but my 2 and half and 3 and half still have their dummies, although restricted to sleep time and late afternoon/tea time when they are tired and i'm losing the will to live. They don't have them out the house, unless ill.

The reasons why i started are they both had reflux badly so it helped with that and the guidelines at the time recommended it, plus they both were very sucky. Son got addicted to it and by the time his sister came along 15m later we didn't want to take it away as he had to adjust to her being around. Then the problem came of shall we take his away but felt mean letting sister still have one (to him that would be the equivalent of a quitting smoker having to watch someone else light up). He is a very oral child and during the day i am constantly tellin him to take a toy/pen/cloth/finger or anything out of his mouth. He has asked me for chewing gum since the dummy restrictions but i declined.

DD is quite dependent on it too and today after being out at nursery for her first full day, park, long walk home and we got in around 4.30, she had a drink, looked at a book, then dissappeared out the room, heard her coming back downstairs with her dummy and blankie. She was totally knackered and wanted comfort whilst laying on the sofa.

I am well aware of their ages and i do feel embarrassed by my 3 going on 4yr old still having one, but its restricted and the amount of comfort and support he gets from it outweighs that. I'm sure i'd have a major thumb or finger sucker on my hands if i didn't let him have it still. He knows he's getting too old as he'll often hide them if people are round.

We might have to go down the fairy route and do them both together, but i know i'd only last a few days before giving in, so no point putting us all through that, if we do i'll make sure its a friday night so DH can help. We've found with our son, that everything i've wanted him to achieve had to be done in his timescale, i.e. self feeding, dressing, toilet training etc, once HE wanted to do it we didn't look back, so i'm learning its easier not to push it and he'll do these things and become independant without all the agro. Hoping the same with the dummy and he'll present them to me saying only babies have dummies, like he did with the nappies, feeding and everything else baby related.

I don't class myself as a lazy parent, just one who needed to survive a tight age gap and PND.

I also think there are nicer ways to express your own opinions without making other people feel put down or inferior.

balletshoes

onlyroz wrote: »

Regarding thumb sucking, my dentist told me that it would only become a problem if they were still doing it around age 5-6 when the adult teeth come through.

thats the thing though isn't it - my sisters both sucked their thumbs, and I can remember both of them still doing it when they were 7 or 8. My niece was the same, a thumb sucker as a baby/toddler, she only really stopped doing it about 18 months ago, when she was nearly 9. With all 3 of them, they weren't even really aware they were doing it, especially when they were tired.

horse76

My DD had a dummy as a baby, up until she was 18 months, and she gave them up no problem. She would only take the orthodontic teat dummy and no other kind.

I had my baby 6 days ago and we've given him a newborn ortho dummy. He was 3 wks early and was struggling sucking when given a bottle, so we decided, after speaking to the midwife to give him a dummy to try and help this.

tiamai_d

Rainmaker_uk wrote: »

Personally I hate dummys. I think they look awful and are lazy parenting.

Just my opinion.

I've heard the term 'lazy parenting' used before with regards to dummies, but I don't understand what is lazy about it?

pigpen

DD5 had a dummy until she was 5 and at school.. she got comfort from it and it made her happy... that child has never stopped talking.. she had reflux and sucking poduces saliva which eased the burning feeling.

DD1 had a dummy from 10 months.. she had pneumonia and dummies regulate breathing so it made hr feel better.. she was talking fluently with a wide vocabulary at a year old.

DS1 had a dummy from 3 weeks as he sucked his hand, gulped wind and gave himself tummy ache.

The other 5 didn't have dummies 2 didn't talk and 3 needed extensive dental work.

The baby is offfered a dummy when she needs help settling and has made herself sick stuffing herself on milk but she rarely has it.. it would be helpful if she would hav it more but heyho.

If it works for the parent and the child what business is it of anyone else? (rhetorical question)

BeenieCat

I sucked my thumb til i was about 17 :rotfl:

Didn't like dummies with my DS so never offered one, he didn't want one and never sucked his thumb or anything.

With my baby DD, i went out and bought one at 2 days old because she'd been on the boob ever since she popped out and even a 5 min break would have been heavenly. We lost both dummies for about a week, and when i found them i offered but she'd already taken up sucking her fingers.... Now she does that all the time. She's 8.5 months now. I am worried about it continuing though, with what Caroline said.

LilacPixie

Both my DD's had dummies. Colic and reflux issues, a dummy helped. DD2 still has her at night to fall asleep, she seems to find it comforting and when she was in and out of hospital it seemed to be the one constant in her life. TBH I am just not ready for the battle to remove it and she spits it once asleep so I cannot see an issue.

Buttonmoons

Oh well guess I'm a lazy bad parent I let DD have her dummy until just over the age of 3 Why? Because it comforted her, no comfort blanket for her, or even a baby bottle for a length of time, that was ditched when she discovered a cup, but the dummy was her best best thing, she loved it.

I actually gave her it in the hospital after giving birth, she wasn't feeding, probably because of the drugs I'd had during labour, so Id shove the dummy in her mouth, she'd start sucking and I'd quickly swap it for a milk bottle so she was getting something.

Anyhoo, she let me take her huge amount of dummys and give them to the dummy fairy but she actually saw me ditching them in the bin and found it hillarious :rotfl:

Her speech was delayed slightly, but I think its more because I knew what she was babbling about so she didn't have to elaborate. The reason I took the dummy off her was because she had developed an open bite, where the teeth don't close properly when you bite down, left with an oval shape, so the dummy went, and she was fine with it, and her teeth took on a normal shape.

Now her speech is fab and i wish I still had one kicking around to silence her occasionally :rotfl: