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csa and the law over children in england and scotland

135

Comments

  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    Well he has notalot to go to court over as far as I can tell from what you've said. He will have to get a solicitor.

    Do you really think he will bother? If he can't be bothered to see the kids, then he won't bother to go to court. He can't take you to court over the csa, their actions are not your concern so long as they do what you need them to.

    So long as you are reasonable over contact, he hasn't a leg to stand on. He will not get residence from what you have told us.

    Just leave him to get on with it, and if he contacts you and asks to see the kids, write back and say its ok, but it will have to be where you are and that you will need his full contact details (meaning his address) first.

    Keep a copy of the letter.


    yes i think thats the best way and if he cant aford to come down he cant aford a solicitor either . hes more than welcome to have contact but in england only .
    when i can have address and i will give him my phone number . as hes got to build bridges with the children and gain their trust . i dont think he will want to come down as ive found out now that he has made a few enemies and he wants them to go to scotland and only scotland hes said he would collect them and drive back to scotland in the same day? thats along tim on the road over 700 miles both ways . thats just abit too risky and not really save for the children in my eyes . hes got to think about this . contact in england as the children might want to retuen early or in an emergency im nearer to them and csa are a waist of time . courts dont get that part involved just that the children have to come first .im going to see what happens and if i get a solicitor letter or any kind of court orrder hearing and go from there .
    thank you great help and really nice of you .:j
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    well hes now just emailed and hes going to try get me done for being an unfit mother and that his girlfriend is a much better mother than me . hes also quitting his job and that hes told csa he cant live or pay his bills and he will inform the dwp why he has to quit his job .
    im ignoring all emails from him and just simply sending them onto my slicitor now and im not responding and its making him very angry .
    hes coming up with 2 + 2=5 and making it worse than ever.

    csa not worried about
    going to court im not sure if he ill pursue?
    hes stating hes aloving doting father but if my boyfriend wants to act daddy then he pays for them ? well im shocked .
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij wrote: »
    well hes now just emailed and hes going to try get me done for being an unfit mother and that his girlfriend is a much better mother than me .

    Print out the email and keep a copy.

    hes also quitting his job and that hes told csa he cant live or pay his bills and he will inform the dwp why he has to quit his job .

    the csa won't give a monkey's bum!

    im ignoring all emails from him and just simply sending them onto my slicitor now and im not responding and its making him very angry .

    So now you know what his motivation is
    hes coming up with 2 + 2=5 and making it worse than ever.

    csa not worried about
    going to court im not sure if he ill pursue?
    hes stating hes aloving doting father but if my boyfriend wants to act daddy then he pays for them ? well im shocked

    Not what the law says, your ex is behaving like a prat, ignore ignore ignore!
    .

    ................................................................................
    Please do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    i am as its gone beyond a joke now . his true colours are showing now.
    my solicitor said lets see whats next if i ignore the emails.thanks
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    :ohad an intresting email from his g/f informing me as of tonight he has handed his notice in and she says enjoy your £ 5 per week coz thats all your getting . shes also threatneing me so another letter for the solicitor in the morning . they are sounding rather angry and i dont want to reply as i will just be playing into their hands and lowering myself . this can be used in a court or not?
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    well both my little girls father and g/f have sent these emails my solicitor and was advised to go to police as the content was harrassment and its all been handed to the police .ive not even going to say what happens now but its an offence and he and her could ruin any chance of having his girls? im quite scared and what will happen and i might have to move .its got so bad.
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • Fizzpop
    Fizzpop Posts: 174 Forumite
    Sorry your having such a hard time xx

    Just keep printing out the emails and giving them to your solicitor and the police and ignore him untill he can be reasonable. Dont reply to them hun your better than them x

    If he does take it to court then ask for supervised visits only as he hasnt seen the children in a long time and because of the threatening behaviour x

    It is true if he does go on to benefits you will only get £5 but thats £5 better off in your pocket, but i highly doubt he will be entitled to benefits given the reasons he has left his job.

    i really hope you manage to get something sorted out soon for you and your children xx
    It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. :p



    Of all things we give a child, our words must be carefully wrapped.
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    Fizzpop wrote: »
    Sorry your having such a hard time xx

    Just keep printing out the emails and giving them to your solicitor and the police and ignore him untill he can be reasonable. Dont reply to them hun your better than them x

    If he does take it to court then ask for supervised visits only as he hasnt seen the children in a long time and because of the threatening behaviour x

    It is true if he does go on to benefits you will only get £5 but thats £5 better off in your pocket, but i highly doubt he will be entitled to benefits given the reasons he has left his job.

    i really hope you manage to get something sorted out soon for you and your children xx
    Yes im letting solicitor deal with email and police logging it too. its ashame how its gone like this. solicitor says he might not get access . im rising above it and £5 per week i will just put in the girls bank accounts . but thank you for your reply.
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij
    tonij Posts: 25 Forumite
    well the update of this =
    my ex still refuses to pay unless he sees his children abit like pay per view if he dont pay he dont go on but if he pays hes got a rite to see them ?


    so got a better lawyer whos now done my will and put application into court for a residancy order and sorting out the harrassment issue.
    so things are slowly improving but taking time . hws fuming as the police are now involved over certaian issues and im not showing im a weak person . he has to go via a lawyer not me but persues on emailing me , all contact goes through my lawyer and he will then understand .
    no he wants to scrap CSA and do a mutaul agreement through lawyer but how reliable is that ? not as its not through a court so CSA will have to carry it on .
    but hes going still fretting about quitting his job but im not worried at all as all monies i do get will go into the girls bank accounts i dont want any of it. it wont matter how much all funds go to the girls.
    :jKEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW, YOUR HOPES HIGH, YOUR DRINKS FULL , & YOUR TRUE FRIENDS BY YOUR SIDE :j:T:T:T:T
  • tonij wrote: »
    :ohad an intresting email from his g/f informing me as of tonight he has handed his notice in and she says enjoy your £ 5 per week coz thats all your getting . shes also threatneing me so another letter for the solicitor in the morning . they are sounding rather angry and i dont want to reply as i will just be playing into their hands and lowering myself . this can be used in a court or not?

    Keep passing them on to solicitor. Don't respond.
    tonij wrote: »
    well the update of this =
    my ex still refuses to pay unless he sees his children abit like pay per view if he dont pay he dont go on but if he pays hes got a rite to see them ?


    so got a better lawyer whos now done my will and put application into court for a residancy order and sorting out the harrassment issue.
    so things are slowly improving but taking time . hws fuming as the police are now involved over certaian issues and im not showing im a weak person . he has to go via a lawyer not me but persues on emailing me , all contact goes through my lawyer and he will then understand .
    no he wants to scrap CSA and do a mutaul agreement through lawyer but how reliable is that ? not as its not through a court so CSA will have to carry it on .
    but hes going still fretting about quitting his job but im not worried at all as all monies i do get will go into the girls bank accounts i dont want any of it. it wont matter how much all funds go to the girls.

    Mutual agreement will not be worth the paper it's printed on, given what you say his history is. Stick with the CSA for this guy.

    Ignore the stuff about his job, he's attention seeking and being a muppet, he has committed probable offences under the "prevention on harassment" act and jeopardised his chances of contact.

    Ignore, ignore ignore, like the annoying kid in the playground he will go away eventually.
    Please do not confuse me with other gratefulsforhelp. x
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