csa and the law over children in england and scotland

tonij

:mad:
it all started over 2 yrs ago my ex husband left me and 2 children behind.
he had strings of women
use to see his children once a month
no money
did pay £150 per month till the girlfreind pokd her nose
got arrested
did live near the children
now lives in scotland over 700 miles away from his 2 children
has had no contact ith children over 18 months
no xmas or birthday presents but was promised
csa trying to open case but hes disputing
took 2 yrs for divorce as he would not sign
now divorced
he wants PR access or custody of the children
he lives in scotland and the law is different to england
whats his chances if he gets a solicitor?
does anyone know about this law and would he get custody ?
would he b allowed access?

some of the women that he had affairs with, have come forward thAt he owes money .i still get baliffs turn up on my door step for him.
its really unfair as im starting my new life with my kids and making it stable .
he left after his son just turn 3 who will b 6yrs old soon.
is there anyone who can help and if i do get csa will he have more rights to see or have the chldren?

GobbledyGook

Maintenance and access are completely separate issues so you going to the CSA will not entitle him to anymore rights than he already has.

What do you mean by PR access?

No court is going to hand over custody to a father who hasn't seen or contacted his children for 18 months.

tonij

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Maintenance and access are completely separate issues so you going to the CSA will not entitle him to anymore rights than he already has.

What do you mean by PR access?

No court is going to hand over custody to a father who hasn't seen or contacted his children for 18 months.

Perental responsilbility is PR

tonij

he is going to use all emails and texts against me as he feels its all harrassment but he fails as his girlfriend got involved in some emails behind his back and used his mail address.

yes i put my hands up i was in the wrong but we all act in anger and sometimes dont think before our actions well ive learned from that.
but would a judge allow access for the kids to stay with him in scotland they dont know his girlfriend and his arrest is to do with children and from a woman who he use to live with but his bail he was put under my care which was the worst mistake i ever done as it really messed kids heads up and confused them.
i did not get any thanks i was used .
the law in scotland reguards to our english law is not the same so would all court cases take place in england?
does anyone know or had a simular thing over their children ?

GobbledyGook

tonij wrote: »

Perental responsilbility is PR

If you were married when the children were born and he is on their birth certificates then he will already have parental responsibility.

The law surrounding the children will come from where they mainly live. So if you and the children live in England it will be English law.

Running_Horse

I'm tired and this is going to come out all wrong, but here goes.

It really p*sses me off to see both parents acting like children and ignoring the needs of the actual children, then minimising their own actions with statements like:

yes i put my hands up i was in the wrong but we all act in anger and sometimes dont think before our actions well ive learned from that.

Sounds like you both need to grow up and put your children before yourselves. And stop linking maintenance with access and affairs and everything else. In answer to your question, he will not be given custody, so no need to list every fault he ever had. This isn't the Jeremy Kyle show.

gratefulforhelp_2

Parental responsibility is something he will already have if he is on the birth certificate, depending on the children's ages.
Contact is visiting the children or having them to visit
Residence is having the children living with him full time/or half with him and half with you.

He is very unlikely to get residence. Contact will depend on what is reasonable for the children given that he hasn't seen them for a time. You do not need to transport them to him.

As has been said, do not mix child support matters with contact issues. You need to go to the CSA if he does not pay CS, and visit the DFW board for confirmation of your rights regarding bailiffs and other people's debts.

Seeing a family law solicitor would be a really good idea, and I think the relevant law is the law where the children live.

tonij

yes intresting
im not blamming or slagging him off its just promises have been broken and ill feeling has happened . i dont show anything infront of the children and never say bad things about him to them . he can see his children but in england as scotland is tooo far and he needs to build a new relasionship with the children . introduce his girlfriend to them slowly .
i have no problem and i think a court order would be good as its law and would work out .
im not worried about csa as its so small amount but he said he ould never let his kids go without .
i just wanted it all to go amicable like it use to be but hes moved away and his g/f got involved and hes not allowed to do certain things .
its such a shme and our divorce was really nasty when it was so simple .
i wanted to just move on like he did and the children see their dad even if it was once a month .
but that did not happen .
i like the comments so far and if other ppl are having simular .
im an easy going person i dont have bad feelings .
just want see if anyone knows the laws abit and where i stand ?:cool:

74jax

Running_Horse wrote: »

I'm tired and this is going to come out all wrong, but here goes.

It really p*sses me off to see both parents acting like children and ignoring the needs of the actual children, then minimising their own actions with statements like:

yes i put my hands up i was in the wrong but we all act in anger and sometimes dont think before our actions well ive learned from that.

Sounds like you both need to grow up and put your children before yourselves. And stop linking maintenance with access and affairs and everything else. In answer to your question, he will not be given custody, so no need to list every fault he ever had. This isn't the Jeremy Kyle show.

Totally like this reply!

From what i can tell from your post, he hasn't been agressive with the children or anything like that, is that the case?

My exH and I split 10 years ago, I could slag him off all i want and he could do the same to me. But we can't be bothered! And why should we. We have a child together. We each do a round 3hour trip each weekend so that he can see his daughter.

I think you need to put all your feelings to one side, don't ever say anything bad about him to your children and allow him access and take it from there. It might work out for the best, it might not but you have to try.

He already has parental rights, can call the school when he wants etc and is taken as seriously as a parent the same as you. My exH gave up his parental rights, my daughters next of kin's are myself and my brother. Believe me me - That wasn't easy to come back from. But the relationship my daughter and her father has is amazing, he's remarried and she now has two step siblings - all are treated exactly the same and i wouldn't take that away from her for the world.

You have to take a step back and be pleased he's wanting part of your childrens life. he doesn't want part of yours just his kids.

i think you're concerned that the children will be made to go and live with him? this will not be the case, give him access to his children and see how it goes.

tonij

the children want to see him the they dont . i cant make them nor the courts but i think they're scared one my children cant be away from me more than a day . i would love a good amicable agreement thru the courts because if he sees them down here then the children decide they dont want to go its very hard and i would like them to know their father.

74jax

i remember driving over with my daughter in tears saying she didn't want to go, it broke my heart. So we'd go, i'd stay and have a coffee and she'd be ok. It later emerged that she thought that was how i wanted her to be??? She didn't realise it was easier for me to see her go off all happy than it was to see her crying.

you don't need an amicable agreement through courts. Even if it's through courts he can decide one weekend he's not going to see them. The courts can't MAKE someone see their children.

You have to give him the benefit of doubt, it might take years to settle into a routine.

Why can't one of your children be apart from you for a day? Do they not have sleep overs? stay with family? If this is the case, maybe just having them through the day for a few months until they are ready to stay over?