How do I support my Hubby through this?

naomijj

Thankyou so much to everyone who has replied. I have just heard from DH and the man was pronounced dead on arrival :-( I will do my best to support him without pushing. I have spoken to St Johns as I wanted some advice from them (selfishly but I want to protect my hubby) as the man had hit his mouth as he fell and there was no resusiaid available so DH is at risk from the bodily fluids :-( The lady thee was lovely and gave me advice on the very low risks and also on how to help DH deal with the feelings afterwards. I am hoping the support from his company goes further than the go and sit down and have a cuppa that he was told straight after.
Thanks again to everyone - a horrid situation and I feel so badly for the family but at least someone tried to help him I know that would comfort me.
xx

pigpen

I had this with my XH.. the guy actually had cancer and hadn't told anyone and was taken very ill at work and died at the hospital...

Until you hear anything saying otherwise assume he is alive.. nothing like assuming the worst!!

It is probably best for him to stay at work, he can talk to colleagues about what happened etc and get things straight in their heads together. The boss may also want to talk to him to make sure it wasn't an incident which could have been avoided.. they like to cover their backs in case they get sued!

Just make him a cuppa, give him a hug and let him tell you in his own time.. you can ask questions once he starts to talk!!

If he does die I also think going to the funeral, meeting his family will help both OH and the relatives.

ETA.. crossposted... at least he did not suffer which would bring me comfort as a relative and also knowing people did their best to save him.

naomijj

Thanks PigPen,
From what has been said I can only assume it was a cardiac arrest, one minute he was stood working the next his colleague looked over and he was on the floor. I would prefer to go in a quick way when its my turn and like you say at least he didn't suffer. I am hoping DH has managed to spend some time with the other first aider so they can talk about it, I am sure they will both feel awful. To make things harder we have our home visit from our DD's new teacher later, she starts 4plus this year and they do a home visit now to see the child in their own environment. So he can't even relax properly when he is home. Although maybe the distraction will be welcome.
Thanks again, just having a sounding board helps me when I am stressed.
Naomi xx

pigpen

I am sure hubby could escape to the bedroom while teacher is there.. just say he had an upset at work.

naomijj

I will suggest it but I know he will want to be involved, he is a very hands on Daddy - he has been to everything for her and totally adores his princess :-) Thanks again x

Tish_P

All you can do is be there for him and tell him he did everything he could. Wishing you both all the best in this.
Could you ask the teacher to reschedule the meeting? If you explain why she'll surely understand.

naomijj

Thanks Tish P, I can't reschedule I'm afraid - DD starts big school on Tuesday and they are fully bookd Mon with other home visits :-( I willjust have to be ready with lots of hugs for him x

starjumper

I work in the NHS and we have a basic life support training session we need to do every year (admin staff etc) and the last time I did it the trainer said that only 5% of the people who are given CPR survive which is a shocking statistic really, knowing that might help him a little bit. What a horrible thing for him to go through.

naomijj

Thanks Starjumper, its horrid. We learnt the same statistic when we trained and its disheartening. I am so proud of him for trying though :-)

poppyolivia

omg your poor husband..and the family of the poor man that died..I don't know what to say but am thinking of you guys! x