Our attempt at being MF!!

CathT

Lois_E wrote: »

Childcare is a total and unmitigated nightmare for primary school kids. Even when you think you have it sorted, there are always emergencies cropping up at short notice. The kids are ill, or the childminder is ill, or goes on holiday, or you have to do something on a different day from usual, or something.

The teacher who has the desk next to mine in the workroom at school just hands her kids over to her mum whenever these things happen. I am soooo jealous of that.

Sorry for moaning.

One of my concerns was the childminder being ill, but this couple work together so I am hoping one takes over if one of them is ill. I guess it's a different situation if one of their children is unwell though.

sarahevie wrote: »

It's one of the main reasons I'm a SAHM as my parents live over an hour away and still work 3/4 days a week, they are only 52 so a way off retirement age.

I think that the juggling would be too much, plus no one ever wants to look after my DD2 as her lung condition scares them. My sister lives in the same city as me, and mum asked her today if she fancied babysitting and it was a flat out refusal

My mum is way off retirement too and works full time so I only ask her when I'm really stuck even though she lives nearby. I have worked with colleagues who have looked after their grandchildren on both their days off, personally I think this is a big ask week in week out.

pammyj74 wrote: »

Being on my own and not near family I too am one of those jealous mums of friends who have nanny to look after kids willy nilly. They dont know how lucky they are.
I actually found a holiday club that was cheaper than the childminder I was using and they also had loads of kids to play with and you dont have the possibility of childminder being ill etc.
I am lucky that I only work 4 days (was 5 but now worked over 4) so if ever my kids are ill one day I can just swap my day off or work 5 days the following week. I am lucky that my work basically let me do what hours I want within reason.
When I did use the childminder she would take the children to school/nursery when they were aged 3 and 4 and got free places but she charged me for it (time and petrol)
I would work the early shift if it were me. Are they the only hours you can possibly do? Would they not let you do an hour later?

Exactly, some people are really lucky. I worked with someone who used to have all 3 grandchildren to sleep over one night a week which allowed their parents to have a night out or work without worrying etc.

DH starts work later than me, generally about 8am but i think if need be he could start later but has 30 minutes travelling time too. It would be better if i could work less days and work 7:30-8 instead on DH's days off but the flexibility is not offered in work, i will push for it though if i need to.

AuntieMabel

I agree with all of the comments re. childcare! We've never had any help from family with our 3 and at times it has been tough. This is the main reason I work nights, I frequently don't get enough sleep but it fits round the family.

Is there any way you could get a friend to have your DD and take her to and from nursery on the days you'll be at work in return for you taking their child on your days off? If this isn't an option, many private nurseries offer wrap around care to have them before and after school nursery, so moving DD if necessary to a nursery which offers this may need to be considered.

Also remember that working for the NHS you will be able to do the salary sacrifice to buy childcare vouchers from your pre tax income which will help a bit too. Your trust should have a childcare co-ordinator who will be able to help with this.

Remember as well that the pre-school years when childcare is a particular pain don't last forever, and make sure your children are exposed to plenty of dirt as toddlers so they have good immunity to bugs and don't need to be off sick much!!!

pammyj74

CathT wrote: »

Exactly, some people are really lucky. I worked with someone who used to have all 3 grandchildren to sleep over one night a week which allowed their parents to have a night out or work without worrying etc.

My boss's mum has his kids on a monday night/tuesday day and a Friday and sometimes saturday night!!
She also drops everything if he needs to have the kids at any other time. he doesnt understand why I get irate about him using her that way. He really takes advantage and she doesnt know how to say no to him.

I would just love the kids dad to be more hands on with seeing his kids to help me out. He is having them for a week in the hols (which is forced) and i got a letter from her telling me the time for collection and bringing back - I get home from work about 2.45 and they are dropping them back at 3pm! It makes me so mad like they cant wait to get rid of them grrr

CathT

AuntieMabel wrote: »

I agree with all of the comments re. childcare! We've never had any help from family with our 3 and at times it has been tough. This is the main reason I work nights, I frequently don't get enough sleep but it fits round the family.

Is there any way you could get a friend to have your DD and take her to and from nursery on the days you'll be at work in return for you taking their child on your days off? If this isn't an option, many private nurseries offer wrap around care to have them before and after school nursery, so moving DD if necessary to a nursery which offers this may need to be considered.

Also remember that working for the NHS you will be able to do the salary sacrifice to buy childcare vouchers from your pre tax income which will help a bit too. Your trust should have a childcare co-ordinator who will be able to help with this.

Remember as well that the pre-school years when childcare is a particular pain don't last forever, and make sure your children are exposed to plenty of dirt as toddlers so they have good immunity to bugs and don't need to be off sick much!!!

I could do the thing with a friend and thought about this as we my DD and her DS will be in the same school year and we are expecting at the same time but not sure how i could manage my 2 and her 2 at the same time. Might be ok if it's just the older ones to worry about and not the babies.

I really think it will be easier once DD is in school, if need be she could go to breakfast club etc.

DD has fab immunity luckily (she was breastfed for over 10 months) so *touch wood* is rarely off nursery and doesn't pick up many bugs.

Already do the salary sacrifice too, it saves us a fair bit and is such an easy way to pay.

Some good news: night 5 of DD's new routine, she asked to go to bed at 7pm and haven't heard a peep out of her since :j

pammyj74

I am proud that I do it all myself too, I hope that I am setting an example to my children to be responsible.
It works itself out in the end.

earthgirl

I hope you get your childcare sorted out. I too have already had problems with un reliable childminders - and earthlet is only 9 months!

Its a lot of reasearch to do, ringing around, but hopefully you'll find good wrap around care - I think thats cheaper than full time too.

SmlSave

Oh gosh, now you've got me thinking about childcare!

GeorgieFTB

Ohh... do not get me started on childcare, single mum of two... with a trouble maker... school won't have DS1 at after school club so for the last few weeks I have been taking the p!ss!!!

Gx

AuntieMabel

CathT wrote: »

Some good news: night 5 of DD's new routine, she asked to go to bed at 7pm and haven't heard a peep out of her since :j

Yippee!! Will keep everything crossed that this is the start of a regular bedtime. Just keep on doing whatever you're doing :D.

CathT

Childcare is such a big issue isn't it. I think we will use nurseries up to the point of HAVING to use a childminder (i.e. starting nursery/school) to avoid let downs, poorly childminder etc. The childminder I hope to use is DH's friends OH and they live close by and near to the school I hope to get DD in.

Have also sold my highchair to a colleague now - i think word is getting around! :rotfl:

That's another £10 to the mortgage!

Re: sleep, DD was great last night and slept 7-2 without disturbing. I thought back to when we did a sleep routine when she was younger and the info stated that night 4 was the 'test night' and as difficult as night one. I am glad night 5 was more successful!

Right, need to check online banking to see what extra OP's I can make.