Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

shar-rona

I have four children and have always charged them 25% of their wages to a max of £50 per week. Last daughter at 20 still lives at home and pays £50 per week. She was the only one of them to moan about it. Why?? coz all her friends work and live at home for Free. She looked into moving out lol and when the list was made of outgoings she changed her mind and is happy with the arrangement. She has her own bills: mobile, car, etc which she pays for! I think many young adults get into debt as they have never had to budget, they get to much for free. My elder kids are pleased I charged them housekeep because it taught them to manage their money and 8 grandchildren later they need too!!!

penny_forum_2

Add up the monthly cost of food, mortgage, elec, gas, water etc then divide it by the number of earners in the household and that'll be the charge for one persons board for 1 month....Multiply x12 then divide by 52 to work out the weekly charge. :cool:

plimsoll

MDE wrote: »

This is my point, and all these comments, things like "Pay up or ship out" and "If she doesn't like it she can find somewhere else" really do shock me and it worries me the way that some people appear to view their children as income sources!

Prime example, just been posted whilst I was writing this.


Would you really, honestly kick your children or partners children out??

It depends how you go about/talk about things when your children are younger. It was always understood in my family that when you'd left to go to uni that was it, you'd left. Therefore if you chose to return "home" during holidays you gave Mum £10 a week towards food (the same amount as the extra she asked Dad for during school holidays when he was home needing feeding the whole week not just breakfast, supper & weekends - so cheaper for us lol), we were not expected to return to live at home after uni. (I actually didn't get charged the £10 usually as I only went home for about a week each holiday, partly as my course meant less holidays partly as I liked living independently but my brothers mostly went home for whole summer hols). When we were 16 we started being responsible for doing our own washing so Mum knew we'd be able to do it when we left, she taught us to cook, iron etc. It was always clear that part of her parenting was teaching us how to be independent & that it was therefore expected we would be. Any implication that not allowing us to live with them indefinitely means they didn't love us is completely false!!!

yllas_2

I always paid 30% of my earnings to my parents (though i was on a much lower wage than your daughter) this covered everything even my washing being done!

I now charge my daughter the same, and she's unemployed at the moment, but pays this as we explained the cost of living and showed our expenses so she understood that its not just going towards food.

floydy17

When I started work at 18, my parents' mantra was 'spend a third, save a third, give a third' - the latter to them towards household costs. I thought it hugely unfair at the time, but when I left home a few years later I realised just how easy I'd had it and that I then had to spend nearer 80% of my earnings on rent, food, bills etc - as well as doing my own cleaning/washing/food shopping. My three children (all in their teens) are well aware that they will be required to pay a similar proportion of any future earnings whilst living at home.

jlovatt_2

She should pay AT LEAST £35 per week if you're feeding her. If she complains stop feeding her and let her see how much she spends on feeding herself.

skint_but_working_on_it

My parents showed me how much the house actually cost them to run, split down between the 5 of us living there. In comparison, the amount they were asking me to pay as my "share" was miniscule and so it was much harder to argue the point.

I am talking about 25 years ago though. Both my parents were working and living wasn't half as expensive as it is now!! In comparison to today's costs I should imagine your daughter would be in for a shock if you did your sums and showed her the true cost of her living with you.

MeAndMyBoys_2

I think the OP's position is a bit like trying to shut the stable door once the horse has bolted :wall: Sounds like it's too late to "teach" the value of money, rather like very soon, she's going to learn the hard way.

I grew up from young, being very well aware that when I left school I would be giving my mum a third of my wages. This was not suddenly sprung on me or my siblings, it was a fact of life that we all expected. We all paid, without question, and certainly never queried what the money was being spent on, or why.

The reality is that when we had circumstances in our lives (like marriage/mortgage, etc) we were each given a vast sum back, but promised to keep it secret, so that the other siblings remained unaware, and did not expect a hand out.

My children are in primary school, and are already aware that they will be contributing from their wages when they are earning. They practice now. When they want something at home that is out of the norm, they offer some pocket money to help cover the cost. This adds up to pennies, but teaches them that nothing is for free, and should be valued. And yes, they have responsibilites of a couple of small household tasks to earn their coinage.

There's no right or wrong way to do things, but I feel happy with mine.

meher

MSE_Archna wrote: »

She’s now earning over £200 a week and we’ve asked her to pay £30 a week towards board, so she can learn the value of money.

The daughter should offer to pay, if nothing for sef-respect. But at 18, she's so young to consider that and with just £800 per month, her salary too meagre to share it. To demand from her is not a wise move, imo. It's little wonder many people just dump their parents in nursing homes callously - with such demands, they leave very little to be cherished and remembered. Valuing money isn't as important as valuing relationships.

jubarnes26

MeAndMyBoys wrote: »

I think the OP's position is a bit like trying to shut the stable door once the horse has bolted :wall: Sounds like it's too late to "teach" the value of money, rather like very soon, she's going to learn the hard way.

I grew up from young, being very well aware that when I left school I would be giving my mum a third of my wages. This was not suddenly sprung on me or my siblings, it was a fact of life that we all expected. We all paid, without question, and certainly never queried what the money was being spent on, or why.

The reality is that when we had circumstances in our lives (like marriage/mortgage, etc) we were each given a vast sum back, but promised to keep it secret, so that the other siblings remained unaware, and did not expect a hand out.

My children are in primary school, and are already aware that they will be contributing from their wages when they are earning. They practice now. When they want something at home that is out of the norm, they offer some pocket money to help cover the cost. This adds up to pennies, but teaches them that nothing is for free, and should be valued. And yes, they have responsibilites of a couple of small household tasks to earn their coinage.

There's no right or wrong way to do things, but I feel happy with mine.

I agree with you, I also picked up on the "teach her the value of money" at 18 and thought it was a bit too late. If this girl has always had everything handed to her then I suppose the attitude she is showing now is only natural. Kids can learn at an early age about money. The world seems so different now one of my sons friends seems to ask for xbox games - & gets them, my motto is birthdays & xmas only & if they want anything inbetween they can earn it. Yet so many people I know constantly buy for their kids year round.
At 11 my DS will be getting his own bank account with card (can't draw out more than is in there) and I will pay in £5 a week - but only if he does his jobs, if he wants to earn more then there will be a list of extra jobs available once he has done the basics.