First baby on the way, tips welcome!

ironman1

With us, my GF puts her part of the money in at the start of every month when she gets paid and I put mine in weekly. I put more in as I earn more so I think that's more fair. She will always put her part in though without arguments so that's good!

Can I just ask if anyone has heard that the Statutory Maternity Pay could be either cut or completely abolished? I've heard this from a couple of people.

webitha

hi and congrats
not read the whole thread (my bad)
but i will say throw out all the "expert" baby books as each baby is different and go with what feels right
be prepared for everyone telling you how to bring up baby, just nod and smile then do it your way
be prepared for the lack of sleep, i know you know about it, but the reality is much much different and harder
also if you can batch cook and freeze some meals, do
also babies are only as expensive as they need to be, you can get loads from ebay/freecycle, but if you get a 2nd hand cot, get a new mattress
and sod the housework for a few weeks (thats what the new grandmothers are for lol) just enjoy the little one
people are coming to see the baby they are not coming to nose/!!!!! about the ironing iyswim

oh and enjoy the little one, the older they get they harder they get, believe me i know
my eldest has started high school today, blink and you will miss the time, they grow sooooooo fast, it only seems like a few months ago that he was a new baby
now he is a long haired, guitar playing, smelly hormonal pre teen :rotfl::rotfl:

babyfruitella

First off, get your GF on babycentre.co.uk & tell her to join her birth board. I'm an Admin on there, & it was a lifesaver to me. Secondly, babies are expensive or cheap as you want them to be. Bulk buy now. If you dont go down the cloth route, start stocking up on nappies. Dont buy too many in the first size. We bought loads & he was out of them & into the size 2's in less than 2 weeks. Is she planning to breastfeed? I tried but was unsuccessful. I wanted to cry when I realised how much formula was!

Fiolondon

Ironman - it's not about being tight, it's about priorities.
What's going to be better for your family - uneccessary baby gizmos? or a paid off mortgage?
Everyone has their own view, but I know which I prefer!

pebblespop

rach wrote: »

Ironman I'd say you two really need to get the money situation sorted out. Having a baby together is a whole new step from just living together and you can't go on not agreeing about money - it will escalate massively.

Definitely check out the mat pay, I'd be amazed if she's only been in the job for 3 months and gets 6 months half pay - I don't get anything like that and I work for the local authority where entitlement is relatively generous!

Each couple has to find their own way with money. For us what works is everything being joint, we have a joint account where both our salaries go and bills come out, and then DH puts what is left each month into our ISAs/savings accounts. We pay for everything on credit card and actually currently the ccard accounts are also joint, I just have a card on his account. Now I understand that wouldn't work for everyone, but it does for us. I basically let DH get on with sorting the money (he does it for a living too so it's much easier for him!!). I actually spend very little, most of my c card bill is food shopping etc to be honest, not because I'm particularly trying not to spend, I just don't go anywhere much at the moment!

i was thinking this but perhaps the op's girlfriend earns around £240 a week. in that case the SMP would be half.

ironman1

She gets around £225pw after tax at her new job, a small drop but saves on travel etc and I prefer her to work closer to home since we got rid of the car.

We still don't know what sort of Maternity Pay she will be on, they are sorting it out at her work. Worst way it will be the £120 odd from SMP so up to this point i'm just looking at that just in case.

Can anyone give me a rough idea of what they spend weekly or monthly on things like milk for a newborn? We have roughly worked it out but it only adds about £50 a month onto our shopping which seems too cheap. I'm not talking clothes etc just milk, wipes etc which can/will be bought from Asda on our usual online shop.
She doesn't want to breastfeed by the way...

ticklepenny_2

hi,

I stock up at asda baby events where you can get 2 huge boxes of nappies for £18. The rest of the year they do slightly smaller boxes 2 for £18. 1 of the huge boxes lasts us a month as longt as DD doesnt have a runny tummy.
Formula £7.96 a tin (SMA) we used approx 2-3 tins a week, but DD was a very hungry baby, and still is at 15 months but is now on 1 tin a week now. I weaned at 5 months due to her being so hungry, using baby led weaning.
Wipes - I buy large boxes for about £9 which lasts about 4 weeks unless DD manages to get hold of a pack and empty it all over the floor.

Our food shopping to include all of the above is £70 on pay day then £30 for the other weeks. We use a meal plan to make sure costs are kept down.

I returned to work after the 9 month SMP ran out, but only work mondays and tuesdays condensed hours so I still get 5 days a week with DD. We are currently 15+3 with our second and will be trying to buy bits early so that when I am on maternity leave it is easier.

HTH

ironman1

Oh right that is alot for the SMA stuff!

Can I ask what happens the two days you aren't at home?

We could get mine or my GF's mum to look after the baby a couple of days a week and obviously more at weekends, but I really want my oh to be with them for the first year every work day if possible. I know that means a bit of a struggle with money but I really want it to happen

honeypop

ironman1 wrote: »

Oh right that is alot for the SMA stuff!

Maybe she could reconsider not wanting to breastfeed? Then it's not only for the numerous health aspects but the moneysaving too.

ticklepenny_2

The 2 days I work she goes to an Early Years Foundation Stage Nursery, I decided it was best to let her interact with other children to develop social skills. The other option was for her to go to MIL, but I dont agree with her parenting style (consists of spoiling DD rotten).

I must say breast feeding is the best option, however due to having a big and hungry baby I couldnt manage to keep up with DD's needs so went over to formula. With my second I will try BF again but will swap to formula if required.

At the end of the day you have to weigh up what you are comfortable with.

Would it be worth negotiating with your OH to transfer £50 a month each to savings. And if she isnt happy with that have a wander around the baby section next time you go shopping to look at nappies and formula. I think DD started on about 12 nappies a day and now she has about 6-7 a day but as the nappies get bigger you get less in a box.

Another MSE tip, sign up to costco or macro if possible as they are much cheaper for nappies and wipes as well as other bits and peices.

HTH