Should I tell my sister ?

ahll

Hi,
Set the scene

My sister met a guy who was a IT Consultant(earning lots) but a few months before their wedding he gave up the IT contracting as they didnt want him to be working away during the week at times.

He then decided to set up as a Handy Man (didnt put much effort into it and didnt work much) then he thought it better that they go into property developing. My sister had to take out the loans, moprtage etc on the new house and he was suppose to do it up. Well he said it would take him 3mnths and he actually took 7-8 months. Mainly because he wasnt there very often and at every opportunity bogged off to B&Q. Well then the house was finally ready and went up for sale. There was a year in between the last one being finished and purchase of the current one. Basically during this time he has done a few odd jobs and sod all else. He has told people he has wound down his Handy Man company because he is now a Property Developer.

I should point out that I live opposite them so I no when he is at home. During the last house development I knew he was giving my sister the impression that he was working hard on the house but I knew he was at home most of the time (hence it took so long). I hoped on this one he would be different but he isnt. He is hardly there and they only has it a month or so and as before he will go out just before he knows my sister is due home !

This makes me so angry because basically for the last 4 years he has done bog all and my sister is doing a full time job she doesnt like to keep them and to be in a postion to take out loans to fund the house buying/doing up. Then not only is she working full-time but then she works evenings and weekends on the new house.

I think he knows I am on to him so has made sure I no longer get invited to their BBQs etc...

I know it her life and I cant believe deep down she isnt aware but I feel like I should go and speak to her and tell her what I belive is going on (as all my family no but no 1 will say anything).

What should I do for the best ?

freebie_junkie

before telling somone something, i think its important to weigh up wether it will make their life better knowing and if they found out eventually, would they have wanted you to tell them sooner or would they have wanted it to come from the horses mouth? is your sister in a lot of debt? is it all in her name? will she benefit more than she will lose from knowing this information? or do you want to tell her coz you dont like her oh coz he wont invite tou to do's? could it all blow up and make things worse between you and her? its possible taht she would take her oh's side and not believe you. (ah teh stuff you learn when you proff read your mum's councelling MA hehe!)

Scarlett1

ahll tell your sister, not only is he taking the p1ss out of her, it also seems he is freeloading aswell, you owe it to her

elljay20

tell her. And get her to secretly come over and watch his comings and goings! (or lack of them)

funky-footprints

i'd tell her ..she's your sister ..what if she finds out in the future and asks your opinion and you are made to lie ? be honest from thes tart ..mind i'd have a good with him too.

rchddap1

I'd be honest with her and would tell her what I had seen. However, I'd make sure I'd keep it to the facts only and would then leave it to her to take things further.

madfrenchgirl

I agree with all of the above. The guy is an opportunist. Believe me she does not want to stay any longer with him, she does not know it yet but she will realise someday (in case she gets mad at you if you tell her).

I know from my mom's experience that some people are happy in those relationships. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is to tell her the truth. Then she will be free to do whatever she wants with it, but keep in mind that she will only ditch him when she is ready to.

Good luck!

Angel777

Hi If i was in your sisters position then i would want someone to tell me.

She will understand that you have told her because you love her and dont want this situation to go on.

At least then she knows the truth and doesnt get even more into debt.

Hope everything eventually works out.

Lady_E

Rather than telling her outright which may blow up into a family feud involving people having to take sides etc, why dont you engineer a situation whereby your sister gets to see what you have seen and works it out for herself. Is there anyway that perhaps you could arrange for her to return to her house earlier than expected or that she is needed over at yours , at short notice? Her OH is having a laugh and needs to be found out . I would love to know what his computer history contains ???

plane_boy2000

Sounds to me like you just dont like him. What business of yours is it what he does all day?

Your sister works full time - big deal so do I and lots of others, and then have to do other stuff when I get home around the house.

Angel777

Sounds to me like you just dont like him. What business of yours is it what he does all day?

Thats a bit insensitive. I am sure like you and me a lot of us work all day and then cooking housework, children etc in the evening.

The OP is only asking for advice.

If that was my sisters husband then it is my business as she is my sister...my family and i would like to try and help her.

hth.