Stepson controlling behaviour

grey_lady

I would say that both of you and all of his children need to consider attending family counselling together. That's if you want to be with a man who is willing to walk away from his baby daughter so easily.

Susan_Frost

So why did his first wife get rid of him ?

Think of what you know and have seen, not what he may have told you.

Is he really worth fighting for? What is your gut feeling really? If you did not have his daughter, would you still want him - for himself, the person he is?

Just make sure that you and yours will be ok if you do split.

Hopefully, it will all work out.

belfastgirl23

Nothing much to add here, I think the others have it covered.

But just wanted to say that I think your stepson isn't displaying controlling behaviour, he's acting out. he's feeling that his dad has replaced their family with you and your family.

With him, you need to ignore the hating his sister bit and not take it too personally - he's a kid and he will grow up. And this did all happen at just about the worst age - you're old enough to really think about it but still too immature emotionally to cope with it. As your DD gets older and becomes more interesting and more of a person (and he grows up a little) things will change. If you've been understanding and kept out of things, he will come to appreciate you as well. But if you make a fuss and shout back, you'll never have his respect, he'll just tolerate you at best.

Not even going to go there about your husband, except to say only you can know if he's a k**b or if he's just so desperate he can't see the wood for the trees. I think we're all assuming he's a k**b (sorry!) but if you think he really has just reached the end of his tether and doesn't know where to turn you could suggest some kind of family mediation to him - talk to the mediator about the situation and see how they think it best to proceed. Or you could just tell him that he can see his kids whenever and whereever he likes and you will support him to the ends of the earth in doing it. That may mean not seeing him with them, giving up Saturdays so he can be with them, even maybe arranging to go see your parents (or whoever) on a saturday so he can have them over to your home. Tough on you certainly but if you want to make the marriage work you may need to do it...

good luck!