Trying for a Baby Part Six

shell820810

Can I ask a genuine question without anyone taking offence, especially those that having been trying for a while.

My hubbie and I are both 28. We are now onto our 6th cycle of trying.
My cycles are totally regular - they alternate between 28 days and 32 days.
I use OPKs, always get a surge. Have a 14 day LP.
Doing BD every other day in fertile period (tried one cycle of every day)
No obvious problems

Hubbie is getting so annoyed at how long it is taking (this is where I dont want to offend, because so many of you have been trying for so much longer).

He wants us to go for tests, I realise that NHS wont look at us at this stage, so would have to be private. Do you think its normal enough for it to take this long at this age, or should we have tests at this stage?

fannyanna

Hi Shell

I think it's a case of education in a way. I for one didn't appreciate how difficult it was to get pregnant (not that I've been trying for long) and just how many couples struggle.

I think because you hear about so many unplanned pregnancies and you take so many precautions to not get pregnant everyone automatically presumes it's really easy to get pregnant. I think another thing is that people generally don't openly discuss that they're TTC or how long it's taking them so you just don't really hear about peoples problems (only the exciting news of they're having a baby).

I'm sure you will have read up on TTC and appreciate it's not so easy. What about your hubbie? Does he understand everything or could you maybe get him to read up on some things too.

I know I also had a rose tinted view of how everything would work. Another thing that I've realised is just how common miscarriages seem to be - which really scares me. I guess it's another case of people tend to keep it to themselves and because you don't hear about it so much you just don't realise how common it seems to be.

Anyway that was a big long waffle and probably hasn't been any use at all. I think you're right that the NHS would turn you away. If you guys are in the position to afford private testing then go for it. I don't think it's uncommon to still be trying after 6 months but if it puts your mind at ease that there's not an underlying problem it may be money well spent for you both x

QQuaver

shell820810 wrote: »

He wants us to go for tests, I realise that NHS wont look at us at this stage, so would have to be private. Do you think its normal enough for it to take this long at this age, or should we have tests at this stage?

Your DH can have sperm analysis first, then depending on the results, you could go for a scan, bloods etc. Womens tests are more expensive:p 6 months is not long, but not short either. It's up to you:)

You could try temping for 2 months, then go, as the docs might be interested in that.

The tests we had at first were SA, bloods and an internal scan, then done Clomid 3 cycles, then HSG to check tubes, 3 IUIs then onto IVF.
DH has low sperm count/morphology/motility. I have PCOS, but ov OK. Everything else fine:) Oh, we had one mc (conceived naturally).

SusanC_2

fannyanna wrote: »

Another thing that I've realised is just how common miscarriages seem to be - which really scares me. I guess it's another case of people tend to keep it to themselves and because you don't hear about it so much you just don't realise how common it seems to be.

Don't be scared. It is common but the majority of women who have a miscarriage subsequently have a successful pregnancy.

GemmaE

Loopylaura wrote: »

My friend just posted on facebook about cuddling her baby daughter to sleep and I just about got knocked out by the wave of jealousy!!! :(

Plus, someone else has been posting about how their baby is due soon and how great their bump is. I now hate this person with all my being. I feel like she's deliberately doing it to get at me even though I haven't told anyone that we're trying. It also makes me cross as she palms her other child off on her parents all the time, so why does she get to have another one and mummies in waiting like you guys and the ladies on the 12+ thread struggle? :(:(

And several other people have posted scan photos.

I might have to block them until I feel more rational. Why do reminders of other people's fertility bug me so much?

Definitely think AF is on her wicked way. Tummy feels all bloated and crampy and weirdly hot and I'm very, very grumpy and sad. So I'm probably out until July.

Arrrgh. I just want to be a mummy!!

Loopylaura I know exactly how you feel, I completely avoided people once I found out they were pg because I was so broody before having DD, and I had to make an excuse to disappear shortly after being told anyone was pg so I could meltdown in private. It made me feel like the most horrible person in the world, but you're not, just desperate for a baby.

That's also why I'm glad DD wasn't planned as TTC and it not happening is my biggest fear, I'm not a strong person by any means so not sure how I would cope if this takes 12m+ or never happens!

Still no AF, I am now 7 weeks since left AF, but BFN when testing so guess my cycle has decided to change again!

Still keep getting crampy pains every few days and feeling like its about to start and then nothing. Think AF is waiting for our trip to birmingham next weekend- maybe she thinks she needs a holiday too!:rotfl:

BW to everyone, hope u are all enjoying some lovely sunshine, will be heading outside shortly to try and soak up some sun and read.

Does anyone have a kindle? I'm seriously debating getting one but a lot of money and not sure if its justifyable if we manage to do it

tinksy

Loopylaura wrote: »

Tinksy get the guitar anyway. Nothing works as well as tempting fate.

lol tried that, i've got gym membership, booked on a hen night in two weeks, bought a dress for a wedding in a month back in feb and NOTHING!!:mad:

However just been and bought some new clothes, got said hen night and wedding this month............do you reckon thats enough :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:?

QQuaver

GemmaE wrote: »

Does anyone have a kindle? I'm seriously debating getting one but a lot of money and not sure if its justifyable if we manage to do it

No, but I read free ebooks on my PDA all the time:cool:

tinksy wrote: »

However just been and bought some new clothes, got said hen night and wedding this month............do you reckon thats enough :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:?

Let's hope so!:j

SusanC wrote: »

Don't be scared. It is common but the majority of women who have a miscarriage subsequently have a successful pregnancy.

My grandmother, two aunts and my mum (all on my mother's side:p) had one mcs each, and everyone (except one of my aunts who divorced and never remarried) got healthy baby after that:cool:
I'm hoping to follow the family tradition:o

tinksy

QQuaver wrote: »

Let's hope so!:j

well to add to that I have just paid for one month diet plan to kickstart some weight lost, I don't need to lose much but i'm very conscious of my tummy

QQuaver

tinksy wrote: »

i'm very conscious of my tummy

Me too. The acupuncturist said it's full of gas and that's why it's bloated:p Hope the needles will puncture it and release the gas:D

QQuaver

Testing list

Sun 24th April - KimmyMarky
Fri 29th April - mrsvicx
Fri 29th April - Fellpony
Fri 6th May - Kellyg
Wed 11th May - svjenni
Mon 12th Never - Lemon Tree


April graduates - Winner of March BFP predictions :TBigzippy - 9:T
Wonder Womble (36) TTC #1 since 05/10 BFP 06/04/11:j
DeborahWalker (now i'm married!!! LOL) TTC #1 since 07/10 BFP 07/04/11:j
BlueMonkey TTC#1 BFP 08/04/11:j
Kitten_Pie (28) TTC#1 since 06/09 BFP 11/04/11:j
Kira000 (35) TTC#1 since 04/11 BFP 21/04/11:j


April BFP predictions

Jen151 - 7
emmylou - 7
Wonder Womble - 7 (incl self)
Alwaysbusybee - 7 (incl self)
Smash - 6
BB1984 - 8
QQuaver - 8
Bigzippy - 8
BezzyK - 8
KellyG - 8 (incl self)
GemmaE - 9
Cleomolly - 9 (10 if incl self)
Tinksy - 10
KimmyMarky - 11