For those mum's waving someone off to uni for first time

RedBern

Whilst I remember... it is an exciting time for your children, but it can also be nerve wracking. I hated taking my son to uni for the first time, there was total silence in a car with 3 of us heading home - just little sobs from me! Anyway, things improved and eventually I could welcome no. 1 son back and let him go without tears!

When my daughter went to uni, she was very nervous, as was I, having experienced the trauma already with her brother! My daughter was in halls, which looked terrifying. However, one of the other parents had brought her daughter a huge chocolate cake - as it was her birthday the following week - and she cut it and left it in the kitchen and as we were passing through, finding bedrooms and unpacking, the mum was saying, "there's a drink and cake here when you've finished unloading" to the girls. It was a real icebreaker - and I've often thought what a simple, and nice thing to do. So - spare a thought - and if you're little 'un is going off - make her/him a big cake and they'll soon make friends!!:)

My_Fathers_Daughter

What a lovely post RedBern.

I gave similar advice to a friend on Saturday night, she is taking her son to Uni next week.

Knock on the next door rooms if your child is staying in halls - they may not get on with these people long term but even the most confident child could do with a little boost and even an 'embarrassing parent' making sure they know the names of a few people close by will be secretly welcomed.

Also - a few goodies (biscuits and hot chocolate went down really well in my day), to remind them of home and give them some creature comfort, work as good ice breakers too.

Uni can be a fantastic life changing experience, I hope all your babies have lots and lots of fun.

MFD x

Newly_retired

Yes, I remember anyone who could supply home made food was not short of friends in halls. But parents, don't hang around when you deliver your student son/daughter to hall, let them get on with making their own friends. Just keep on sending the cake!

ciderwithrosie_2

Yep, I felt awful, leaving DS amidst his piles of belongings in his shared flat in halls. He looked so lost, made worse by the fact that he said 'I don't know where to start' (sorting his stuff out and putting away) but we had to get going as we'd hired someone to drive us up. I didn't cry cos I didn't want to be embarrassing but I had a big lump in my throat.

Luckily, it was a really great place, all modern and clean and we did meet one of his flatmates who'd already arrived and was very nice and friendly and spoke to a few other parents dropping off their equally bewildered looking children to other flats. I left a big tub of 'Celebrations' on the kitchen table for them all to share. When I phoned him later on his room phone there was no answer, so I tried his mobile 'Yeah, everything's unpacked, I'm fine, I'm in the SU bar with my flatmates!'

floss2

When DS1 went off to uni, I was desparate to unpack, make up his bed etc.....but my OH dragged me away before I blubbed & got too embarassing!

When DS2 went to uni, he was dropped off, his stuff was parked in his room & we all went off to the pub to watch the rugby world cup!

Another suggestion is to give them some beer vouchers that they weren't expecting - then they don't have to worry about getting any cash out & can buy a few drinks in the Union bar!

Penny_Watcher

Cake!!! :T And coffee, tea, milk and sugar and a few mugs - all for sharing. And leave your bedroom door ajar and say hello to everyone you can. You're all in the same boat.

I wept like a mad woman all the way home :o:o. Fortunately it was just me in the car and I'd got most of it out of my system by the time I got home (it had been just me and her for the first 12 years of her life before I met my husband).

Six of DD1's friends from 6th form were in halls on the same campus so she wasn't short of friends.

I had a very weepy telephone call from her later that evening when I got home. It was all I could do not to jump in the car and go back. :eek:

Then they discovered the Uni Bar..............

She had 4 fabulous years there, became involved in the union, edited and won national awards for their online newspaper and is even mentioned as one of their famous alumni :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

So yeah - loads of cake (and tissues for Mum and Dad).

busiscoming2

Oh god the memories! I can emember when my dd went off to uni, I cried while we were packing the car!! We helped her settle in and then left her with me and her stepdad crying on the way home!! I spoke to her later and she was quite happy in the SU bar with her flat mates and making lots of new friends. I was much better prepared when ds1 went to uni!

It is amazing how you go from feeling utterly distraught to it just feeling normal within a couple of days.

January20

My daughter has one year left at school and then she (hopefully) will be off to university. I can't even think about her leaving home! It's just too traumatic, but perhaps it's because it's just the two of us. At the same time, it's quite exciting as it's a new phase in both our lives.

Please post this again next August and I'll try and be the mum who bakes a cake...

Jinx

We're taking DD to Uni in a fortnight....shes excited and petrified in equal measures I think!! Im sure I'll blubb.... waving her off for a gap year prompted a few tears - living permanently 400 miles from home I think is harder. Thank Goodness for Skype :j

Isnt it funny how you spend 18 years getting them grown up, capable and (mostly) sensible... then worry like mad when they have to put those skills to use??!! lol

Edited to add - I agree with those who are/have been single parents. Im in this boat and we've been soooo close...

January20

Jinx wrote: »

We're taking DD to Uni in a fortnight....shes excited and petrified in equal measures I think!! Im sure I'll blubb.... waving her off for a gap year prompted a few tears - living permanently 400 miles from home I think is harder. Thank Goodness for Skype :j

Isnt it funny how you spend 18 years getting them grown up, capable and (mostly) sensible... then worry like mad when they have to put those skills to use??!! lol

Edited to add - I agree with those who are/have been single parents. Im in this boat and we've been soooo close...

When you miss her, pm me and I'll remind you of all the annoying things that teenage daughters do... :rotfl:(I'm trying to make it easier on myself by thinking that my home will be tidy, will not be invaded by friendly but loud teenagers, I'll have complete choice on what I watch on the tv... )

My dd's second choice for uni is Falmouth and we live... in the North-East.:eek::eek:

Jinx

January20 wrote: »

When you miss her, pm me and I'll remind you of all the annoying things that teenage daughters do... :rotfl:(I'm trying to make it easier on myself by thinking that my home will be tidy, will not be invaded by friendly but loud teenagers, I'll have complete choice on what I watch on the tv... )

My dd's second choice for uni is Falmouth and we live... in the North-East.:eek::eek:

God yeah, I soooo agree with all of the above.... Well actually shes not loud while here as now she drives she always goes out!!:rotfl::rotfl:

Funnily enough I got used to her not being here for the year and she actually complained when she got back that I was neglecting her LOL This was cos I and her step-dad were used to it just being us now and I was trying to allow her space etc as shes now an adult. But I think shes just nervous and craving hugs, reassurance etc....

My hubby has spent the last 5 years telling DD she should go to Uni 'wherever she wants' and 'wherever the best course is'... thinking she'd go to Glasgow LOL He didnt figure on her heading to London...hes gonna miss her loads :o:o

The hotels are booked (for us travelling), the halls deposit paid and the stock pile of her food/kitchen stuff etc is growing in a corner of the kitchen....:cool: