Is my husband entitled to my house?

Bettie

I can't see where she says she is breaking up the marriage.
Is it this?
"and I am beginning to think I have had enough of it"

I read that as had enough of his spending/being insecure.
BBL
off to work now :-(

RAS

Errata wrote: »

At divorce the split of marital assets starts at 50/50. Negotiations then take place to arrive at a split that is acceptable to both partners. If the partners can't agree on a split the Judge will decide for them.
A 50/50 split come hell or high water is just an urban myth.

Correct for marriage that last more than 2 years.

If the marraige last less than 2 years, it is a short marriage and the courts return both parties to the situation prior to marraige, if possibole given the assets and debts.

January20

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I read what the OP said,

"I love my husband dearly, but he consistently lets me down where money is concerned (this does not mean he is a bad person and he works hard, he just isn't paid quite as well as me and finds it impossible to save as there is always a gadgit he wants to buy) and I am beginning to think I have had enough of it"

So, the positive points are that she loves him, he's a good person and he works hard. On the other hand, he doesn't earn as much as she does, can't save and likes to buy gadgets.

As I said before, are these really reasons to break up a marriage?

It's very difficult to always be the responsible adult in a relationship especially as far as finances are concerned. I don't think the OP is saying that she minds her husband earning less than her, I think she is bothered by the fact he will not learn to be more careful with his money: he won't save and likes to buy gadgets.

It is awful to be married to somebody you can't trust money wise. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership and yet she has to have sole financial responsibility for the purchase of a house, the mortgage and it's upkeep because her husband is not reliable enough. She says he constantly let her down. The weight on her shoulders must be quite heavy. After all, what would happen if she lost her job?

These may not be reasons to break up a marriage but I can imagine that the stress of the situation would be enough to bring the marriage to breaking point.

OP, you have all my sympathy. I lived with someone who wasn't good with money, who thought going out with his mates was more of a priority than paying the rent, that credit was the answer to everything. I can't give you advice as you can see I am talking about it in the past, but perhaps just keep all receipts and proofs of what you have invested in the property.

Spendless

A couple of posters have referred to different 'rules' coming into play if a marriage lasts less than 2 years. Is this really true or an urban myth? Not that it applies to me now, but within 8.5 months of marriage I was dependant on my husband financially as we had our son. Bit :eek: to think our marriage wouldn't have counted for the sharing of assets at this point.

January20

Spendless wrote: »

A couple of posters have referred to different 'rules' coming into play if a marriage lasts less than 2 years. Is this really true or an urban myth? Not that it applies to me now, but within 8.5 months of marriage I was dependant on my husband financially as we had our son. Bit :eek: to think our marriage wouldn't have counted for the sharing of assets at this point.

I think the fact you had child with your husband would have made your situation completely different.

ooohisay

Thanks to Bettie and January 20.... you have got my predicament totally. Its not about me earning more than him... I don't care I wouldn't have married him if I did! But what I do care about is not getting into debt, not getting credit cards I can't afford, and having the security of my own home and ensuring that no one else can get themselves in a pickle and put my security at risk. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership and it is HARD WORK ensuring that there is enough money in the bank at the end of the month to buy food for the last week before payday when your husband doesn't even give this a thought. The whole point of this is the fact that I would love to stay married to him, I'm not considering splitting, I am just getting a little tired of being the only financially responsible one and it worries me that if one day things do take a turn for the worst all my hard work and security could potentially get taken away and I would be left with essentially nothing when I have worked so hard for what I/we have.
Thanks to all those who have given useful advice/tips/general messages

JaneRN

I have no advice but I can appreciate your concerns as I was briefly married to someone who sounds a bit like you husband. I worked full time he worked 20 hours a week. I paid most of the bills etc and he enjoyed his fast cars and the latest something or other! It was clear we had different attitudes towards ensuring a secure future and not being wasteful. When we divorced thankfully he agreed to sign the house over to me as I had paid the deposit and most of the monthly outgoings. I was lucky I suppose but on the other side of the coin I paid for the divorce and it didn't cost him anything so he was happy to walk away with what he came with (plus a better car). I did get some advice from a solicitor at the time and she pointed out that just because there is was property it doesn't mean my, soon to be, ex would be entitled to half. Fortunatley I didn't need to put that to the test.

Oldernotwiser

ooohisay wrote: »

Thanks to Bettie and January 20.... you have got my predicament totally. Its not about me earning more than him... I don't care I wouldn't have married him if I did! But what I do care about is not getting into debt, not getting credit cards I can't afford, and having the security of my own home and ensuring that no one else can get themselves in a pickle and put my security at risk. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership and it is HARD WORK ensuring that there is enough money in the bank at the end of the month to buy food for the last week before payday when your husband doesn't even give this a thought. The whole point of this is the fact that I would love to stay married to him, I'm not considering splitting, I am just getting a little tired of being the only financially responsible one and it worries me that if one day things do take a turn for the worst all my hard work and security could potentially get taken away and I would be left with essentially nothing when I have worked so hard for what I/we have.
Thanks to all those who have given useful advice/tips/general messages

If it all went pear shaped you could be left with a happy marriage, which seems to me to be more important than material goods.

I think that, traditionally, men have been the ones to take the financially responsible role but, as a feminist, i can see no reason why role reversal wouldn't work as long as people don't resent it.

January20

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If it all went pear shaped you could be left with a happy marriage, which seems to me to be more important than material goods.

I think that, traditionally, men have been the ones to take the financially responsible role but, as a feminist, i can see no reason why role reversal wouldn't work as long as people don't resent it.

Love doesn't pay the rent or pay the bills or put food on the table! And when you are in debt because your other half squandered the money with nothing much to show for it, what happens to the happy marriage?

I'm a feminist as well and totally agree with the second part of your post, though this situation is slightly different.

OrkneyStar

[quote=[Deleted User];36028435]Moral of the story ultimately though is dont marry a loser.... ;-)[/QUOTE]
I expect most people don't think they ARE marrying a loser, at the time!