Should I just back down?

Nixer

No one can make you go if you don't want to. But Errata is right, no one can make you feel bad/upset etc unless you let them. I've been dealing with a sometimes nasty and negative mother for decades now, and yes, it can be bloody tiring being strong and letting the comments roll off but it's even more tiring being upset all the time and worrying about the next visit.

I don't know what the snide comments are, but something you could try (I think I saw it on here so apologies if I nicked it, but it's good advice) is to say calmly "That was quite a personal remark. Did you mean it to sound quite so nasty?". Quite a lot of people when challenged like this will retract, apologise or deny that that's what they meant. I'd avoid saying it in front of others though as it can then turn into power games if you make her feel small in front of other people.

VK-2008

hugs to you

the joys of inlaws

my inlaws are separated and i get on great with my FIL but not so great with MIL
i can tolerate her luckily but i think you should stop going if she is making you feel inadequaate
you are a person and not dirt
do not let any person treat you like this
i have told dh if things were to get really bad between me and MIL i would just not see her and let him go himself
MIL can be fussy think us girls are nevr good enough
they are just insecure and jealous that we have "TAKEN" there precious sons