Dont know what to think :(

messedup1

My partner after a drink got really angry and threw some stuff back in my face from my past that i had told him about. One of them being the abuse i suffered as a young child. He shouted in front of my children who didnt know about it all and basically said he didnt believe what i had said and i probably wanted it to happen. For a long time we have argued and i just dont know what to think now. How can a person who cares about me say such a terrible thing?

Fang_3

messedup1 wrote: »

My partner after a drink got really angry and threw some stuff back in my face from my past that i had told him about. One of them being the abuse i suffered as a young child. He shouted in front of my children who didnt know about it all and basically said he didnt believe what i had said and i probably wanted it to happen. For a long time we have argued and i just dont know what to think now. How can a person who cares about me say such a terrible thing?

Throw him out.

Mrs_Imp

Sorry to hear that OP.

I'm afraid that the truth may be that he doesn't care about you. No-one, no mater how drunk, should be saying things like that to someone who trusted them enough to tell them something so personal.

That happened to a close friend of mine. She never trusted him again.

Yours doesn't sound like he's worth your trust either.

mwa

oh blimey, you poor thing. Is this a one off thing or is he often abusive like this? I'm afraid that if he doesn't come crawling with a damn good explanation or if this is something that has happened before, there is only one answer and that is to end things. You run real risk of damaging your kids if they are exposed to this kind of thing frequently.

Good luck and big hugs

Hectors_House

messedup1 wrote: »

My partner after a drink got really angry and threw some stuff back in my face from my past that i had told him about. One of them being the abuse i suffered as a young child. He shouted in front of my children who didnt know about it all and basically said he didnt believe what i had said and i probably wanted it to happen. For a long time we have argued and i just dont know what to think now. How can a person who cares about me say such a terrible thing?

My mother recently told me I was partly responsible for getting raped.

I've not spoken to her since.

I think you need to think long and hard about the man you're with hun.

January20

The trouble is that he was drunk so he could have been talking complete rubbish under the influence of alcohol, or he could have been actually telling you a truth he never dared/ wanted to tell you whilst sober. I think your fitst course of action is to wait until he is sober and then discuss it with him. If he doesn't believe you, try and find out why.

In any case, I personally couldn't forgive him for saying such things in front of your children. That has to be adressed. How old are your children and how much are they likely to be affected by this revelation?

And yes, how can you be so nasty to someone you are supposed to care about, drink or no drink involved?

Foodhoarder

I am so sorry to hear how badly you were treated. My first concern is how you are coping with this terrible event from yuor childhood.

Have you had any support in the past to help you deal with that matter? Would you like some support to help you deal with it and how it is currently affecting your life. You could ask your GP for some information about support/therapy in your area.

Secondly, The drinking issue needs to be addressed. I find myself wondering if this is an isolated incident, if he has ever behaved badly towards you in the past whilst in drink?

I have recently split with a man who was not an alcoholic (dependant on alcohol daily), but behaved terribly whilst binge drinking (didn't seem to be able to stop when he 'got the taste').

You and your children deserve better treatement than what you have been given.

Regardless of how you were treated as a child, you are still wholey deserved of love and nurturing now.

My heart goes out to you because it is a really dreadful experience to go through and i hope that you can gain some support to seek deal with all you are going through now.
Hugs.

serious_saver

Putting aside the fact that he has said he doesn't believe you - horrible in it's own right.

He got drunk in front of your children and started hurling abuse at you and undermined their trust in you by saying that you're a liar. Your children deserve better than this! You obviously know him best and you know whether this is likely to happen again. It sounds litke he needs to get help and you need to seriously consider all of your options.

jamespir

we all do stupid things when we are drunk ignore the drama queens on here who suggest chucking him out or what ever
perhaps you could sit down and talk to him about it

sueeve

There's always the option of not getting drunk. We don't ALL get drunk and do stupid things because of it. Though maybe we do them without getting drunk, but not such destructive abuse.

jamespir

sueeve wrote: »

There's always the option of not getting drunk. We don't ALL get drunk and do stupid things because of it. Though maybe we do them without getting drunk, but not such destructive abuse.

i suppose i dont drink so im only going on the stupid behaviour of those around me who do