Wish I could leave (long post, please help)

Artytarty

You seem to have some relationship with your parents given that you have been staying there on an ad hoc basis.
Would they be prepared to shelter you and the baby for the short term?
Who cares if he "needs" your tax credits?`! Let him stew in his own mess and get a life for yourself.

DON79

You won't be intentionally homeless if you are in a situation of domestic abuse - there will be somewhere for you to go even if it is not back to your previous flat - nothing could be worse than letting yourself get trapped where you are which is what will happen if you let him take control of the finances. Claim the child benefit and tax credits yourself now and call women's aid straight away and they will help you to get out. Pack your bags & the babies. Please do this for your daughter and for yourself.

lill

jusdreamin wrote: »

It's a housing association property, so they may not let me keep the tenancy - then I will be intentionally homeless. I'm too scared to phone them

you are now classed as vulnerable, they will have to place you as you have a child.

jusdreamin

Thanks. I've just phoned the HA and they won't let me withdraw the notice to quit. The local council has been given the property to rehouse those already on the waiting list. I called my CPN & he's on holiday. His replacement spoke to someone there who said that if he's actually violent to me (which he hasn't exactly, he is to property & he's inferred he may be) then they may help... otherwise I'll be at the back of the list for rehousing, so it looks like I'm stuck for a while.

Errata

Phone the mental health worker again and tell them that your OH IS being violent towards both you and your daugher. Telling them will enable them to give you the approprite help you need.

other night he tried to push me off the bed when i was feeding her

DON79

you do not have to be stuck there until he physically harms you - domestic abuse is not just physical violence it is mental abuse & torture also, as well as being financially controlling. If you really want to get out, you have to call women's aid as has been suggested previously. You and your child are at risk, be it physically or mentally from this man - only you can take steps to protect yourself and your child.

agscully

Hi OP , he has been abusive to you already though , you say he has pushed you while feeding your daughter . Abuse is not just physical it can be emotional , mental etc - which he is being . Have you looked up support available in your area ? you dont have to live like this . Where in the UK are you ? If we know it will help us to find appropriate support for you , PM me if you dont want to say on the main page . But please remember you can get out of this situation .

Kate78

jusdreamin wrote: »

How do i get out as I'm REALLY miserable & scared of him (he has violent tendencies)... is there any way i could stop my tenancy ending on sunday?

Tell the HA that you are scared of him and he's been violent towards you and you have a young baby.

savingmummy

I would up and go!

List the pros and cons of staying out, then answer the two questions - if you stay what would life be like for you and your children?
If you leave how will your life progress?

I know what the outcome would be from just reading your OP.

He clearly has no respect for you, his using your money, going out spending but your on a tight budget!! This will lead to debt (you stated his already in debt and is a spendthrift)

Emotional abuse is what is happening, his already pushed you whilst you had your daughter SO physical could happen/worsen if you stay!

Just to quote: His son left today & that now means I can't as he'll need the child tax credits to survive (which is why he wants me here & he is claiming even though it's usually the mum). I want to run, to escape...

RUN, GO dont feel you cant because he NEEDS YOUR money!! Think about yourself and your baby girl!

Good luck.

Kimberley82

I am so sorry you are going through this.

How is your bi polar right now?

You deserve so so much better than this, remember that.

Do you have any friends you could talk to? family?

What about talking to your health visitor?