Week 2 - There's so much we can do.

RubySewSew

Hot water bottles £2 in ASDA!! Hooray - all boys tucked up nice and warm in bed. Infact, might go and bulk buy and then I can make some hottie covers and put them on ebay for a profit!

Trying to think what I need to update you on. I've had a bit of a blow out this weekend. Took the boys to Tesco on Friday after school and treated them to a Lego Ninjago each and the arena. It cost a fortune - how is plastic so expensive? Anyway, I did it because I am so fed up of them going without all the time and that I work so hard with so little benefit to us as a family. And it was also a bit of a softener because I knew that I simply HAD to clean the house at the weekend. Took dog to vet. Cost a fortune. Apparently I missed the 3 week window for her second jab so had to start again. Jab, flea treatment, worming tab and flea treatment for cats came to £75. Eep! But its done now. In the same vein got sick of the boys having holes in their shoes so quick trip to Brantano today and £50 on 3 pairs of shoes without holes. Not strictly school shoes but black skate shoes double up as school/weekend shoes. They'll do. Another £25 on school trousers for DS2 (grown) and DS3 (vanished).

Mega expenses still to come this month include £80 towards DS1 residential school trip and his birthday when he will be in double figures!! Don't know how I'm going to find it. Oh man and its Valentines Day to - might have to use my creativity for that one. Me in a bow? Me in a cake? Me in a lovely decoupage box?

Spent all day Saturday cleaning and cleaning. This included scrubbing the stains on the carpet with a solution of biological laundry liquid and then vaxing. So worth it because I managed to get rid of a 1 year old sick stain, an olive stain the size of a dinner plate, and a salsa stain, amongst others. My house looks presentable and normal. Bought a mat for the back door (£10) to stop the dog walking garden through the whole house. But she pooed on it and wee'ed on it

Living room is pretty clean, stairs are clear, kitchen is mostly clean, bathroom is so cold I'm not going in there for anything! Boys rooms tidy(ish).

Projects for this week include getting the desk and cupboard under the stairs straight in order to free up my sewing machine

Have just updated facebook page for antenatal teaching, priced up consultation fees, and workshops and looked at viability of when I can actually work. Am currently figuring that I would accept an offer of full time work and concentrate on running monthly workshops and focusing on telephone and email consultations. Have contacted mybirthtv re networking and found an old video of me teaching when I was pregnant with DS3! Will look into twitter and netmums tomorrow. Need to free up some quick cash so will also see if I can get some ebay stuff up. Think I need a target for this?

And had some good news. Apparently on a term time contract I get paid for 46 weeks a year rather than 39 as I had assumed. And it is paid in 12 monthly payments so I don't need to piggy bank.

One last thing, took dog to puppy park and had a wicked time running through the mud with the boys. They loved it! And it cost us nothing. Well a bun on the way home

Eager_Elephant

I see that things are not going well

Are you able to get food shopping this month? If not I am sure some of us can send a gift or two to help?

Do you get tax credits every week/4 weekly?

I am not sure what you can get your DS for his birthday but if it will help I have the box set of Just William that my son has had for a few years and never read. The books are find but the box itself is slightly worn in one corner - can post to you if you want. (This came from Book People so you might be able to see it on there to check if you want it)

Also anything urgent I might be able to help with.

I am worried that you are using the credit cards to live on and that the minimum payment will increase and then you will have less money to live on.

If you haven't already I think you should look at token payments asap although if you do this you will have a default on your credit file and when you come to remortgage you might not have as many options available.

EE

RubySewSew

I'm overwhelmed by how generous that is Eager. Thank you so much, I am so touched that you can be so thoughtful and giving and you've never even met me! It might sound surprising but at the moment I'm managing. Well kind of. We're not on the bread line yet anyway. I think I learnt resourcefulness from my Mum - she always managed to put a meal on the table. Even if we didn't eat it! We're eating pretty cheaply and I know it sounds awful but we run out of money for shopping every month so in that respect this month won't be any different. And one other little thing that helps is I at least get a free school dinner every day.

I never spend money on the credit cards. It is old debt left over from my marriage accrued at a time when we thought we were getting through life with 3 babies and we would be paying it off together once I was bringing in a second income. Didn't quite work out like that though. I have added about £3500 to it in the last 4 years but you're quite right Eager it is debt that is increasing because I can't afford to meet extra costs due to the amount I'm already paying out. The day to day costs aren't too bad - I can budget for those but I am repeatedly floored by massive additional costs.

The offer of books is very generous but unfortunately DS1 struggles with reading as he's severely dyslexic. He will get lots of things from his Dad and from grandparents. I have a large canvas that I can decoupage for him - I think I have some manga comics he would love. He's already chosen his cake - we have a tradition that the weeks before their birthdays they go through the cookery books and choose any cake and I'll make it for them. I love doing it! I have to find a solution because it's DS3's birthday next month!

The thing I'm really worried about making a token offer is if they refuse and start applying charges to the account which will make things worse. Also, I have savings accounts for the kids at the Nationwide where I have a debt - can they take that money? The account is held in my name on behalf of DS1, DS2, DS3 - they are named on the account and they are specifically children's accounts. I'm not too worried about the mortgage. I'm tied in for another 2 and a half years and it was a self-certified mortgage when they still existed. If I were to sell it would be to repay my debts and go into rented accommodation.

Tax credits are 4 weekly. Due at the end of the month.

I'm going to check the bank accounts now. I am really scared. And I feel very alone. One day this will all be a distant memory.

Mags30

I live in Ireland so I can't offer any advice about UK financial institutions but maybe you should post your questions on the main debt free wannabe board. More people would reply there than here in the diary section.

It's inspiring how postive and upbeat your posts always are despite difficult circumstances. And yes we will send you some emergency food packages if ever things get that bad.:)

Mags30

Forgot to add do you do surveys? Can be boring and really annoying at times but you could earn Amazon vouchers which would help with presents and treats for the boys. Take care x

RubySewSew

Birthdays have been very much on the agenda today. DS1 wants to go paintballing or to lasertag. DS3 wants an Easter party so he can roll eggs down the hill! The ex wants to know what I'm getting so we don't crossover and I don't want to make any decisions! It feels like Christmas all over again!

I've been flat out today. Full on day at work, home to walk the dog with my kids driving me mad, then made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, mopped the floor, fed the chickens, fed the cats, made lunches for tomorrow, hung up the washing, put on another load and made 40 cupcakes for school tomorrow! Which I am now wondering how on earth I am going to get there! And I was going to do a little bit of emailing/work tonight. I don't think I could find any time to do any surveys! Although I do like the sound of Amazon vouchers. Maybe I should look into this.

I realised today when the kids were winding me up just how much money is a worry to me. It's on my mind all the time which makes it hard to ride above the petty squabbles and fights. I ended up losing my temper repeatedly. In an ideal world I could just work afternoons and still pay the bills and run the house and be a mum and walk the dog. And grow lovely things in my garden! Which I was inspired to do today by the beautiful, glorious sunshine!

I'm going to check my dates for work, send some emails and wrap up for the night. Dog is keeping my feet warm at the moment. She seems a little calmer since I've been letting her off the lead. Fingers crossed that it continues!

RubySewSew

... I'm secretly hoping for a duvet day, maybe a slightly poorly child, so that I can have a day on the laptop firing off letters and sorting out financial paperwork.

RubySewSew

Quick quick quickety quick... Went to see the SENCo at school today about behaviour of boys and she suggested some strategies and offered support. Feel a bit better for that. Also made dr's appointment re DS2's bedwetting and made family appointment for dentist (in April!). Had friend and boys over after school, beans on toast for tea and back out to work in an hour. I know it is awful and I need to think of the money but I really want this course to be over. I love teaching usually but I'm too tired to give any energy to evenings at the moment. Might try and sneak a super quick nap before the boys are picked up and I'm back out for work.

RubySewSew

Was in the middle of a massive update and managed to press select all delete by accident. Will try again later...

RubySewSew

Blimey it has all been going on. So much has happened I don't know where to start. Let's start with today; DS1's birthday. 10 years old today! My little boy is growing up! He got lovely presents, he had a friend over and we made homemade pizzas, dough balls and birthday cakes (mocha cupcakes - his choice). They're now tucked up in bed watching Lost Boys. I'm quite jealous! I didn't have a great start to the day. House is a mess, kids and dog were driving me mental and bank account is empty. I wanted to take them swimming and to get a haircut but just didn't have the money. Their dad then had a text message hissy fit telling me that my financial problems were making him stressed and ill so could I stop mentioning it. There isn't really an answer to that is there?

Anyway, after all that stress a friend popped over (someone elses ex - they broke up, I fell out with her, stayed in touch with him, long story) just to give me £20 because he'd seen on facebook that I couldn't take the boys swimming. Sometimes people's kindness overwhelms me. Whilst my ex is being a twonk, another man steps up to pay for my son to go out for his birthday.

So, next up. The dog. After a long and painful few weeks I have decided to rehome her. She is a beautiful little dog but she needs so much time, training and exercise. This would have been just about do-able but I have been offered full time hours at school (good news) but it means we need to find a new family to do the best by her (bad news). Feel heartbroken about it not to mention ashamed, naive and wicked. I have a friend of a friend coming to see her tomorrow - he works from home so will be with her all day. I've been asking the universe to take care of it for me.

Which brings me to work. I've put so much energy into umming and ahhing about work/life/home balance whether its better to be time rich and cash poor or vice verse blah blah blah. Finally, I woke up to myself and realised that I can't afford not to work full time and that I'm lucky enough to have a job I really like with lovely work colleagues and a supportive boss. By working full time I have evenings, weekends and school holidays free and then i can choose to do self employed work on top as and when. My life is hard work, it just is, I'm a single parent in financial difficulty with 3 boisterous, complex, needy children who has to work full time as well as run a house. But that is why I'm here, to get support from you guys many of whom are in similar positions, or worse positions or have been there. So I need to get over myself a bit.

The other big decision has been to open a basic account, cancel my Direct Debits and write token offer letters. I'm about halfway through this process. In the end it wasn't a decision or a choice. I don't have enough money to pay the bills this week so I need to get a handle on i. I'm hoping that within 3 pay checks things will be a bit more settled and I will be able to do some more effective financial planning.

So that's a lot of news and explains why I haven't been around on the diary much. Too bloody busy! So, after a hectic day I'm going to have a mocha cupcake, say goodnight to the puppy for the last time and get a good nights sleep. Off to the doctor first thing in the morning to find out about hormone treatment for the boys' bedwetting.