Single parent & BF getting the balance right

SandC

Ditch him!

I really do understand why you introduced him to your son and got his son involved at such an early stage, it really must be hard not to. But this whole thing serves as a great big warning - it is NOT true and real love at 3 months. You do NOT know each other inside out.

Your son sounds like a little star. The alarm bells you heard about him not telling you he'd broken a toy were right to be ringing so loud. A child of just turned six starts acting out of character in the slightest way and you have to think why - sometimes it might be for the better if they had been a little horror previously but in this case I say not. Seriously, stop trying to justify your boyfriend's behaviour by saying it must be hard cos of the kids. Please don't do that.

I read a lot of those real life magazines and every time, every time something goes wrong you can guarantee the couple jumped into the relationship head first.

Please just ditch him now, he has no right whatsoever to be talking to you in this way.

74jax

SandC wrote: »

Ditch him!

Your son sounds like a little star. The alarm bells you heard about him not telling you he'd broken a toy were right to be ringing so loud. A child of just turned six starts acting out of character in the slightest way and you have to think why.

Seriously, stop trying to justify your boyfriend's behaviour by saying it must be hard cos of the kids. Please don't do that.


Please just ditch him now, he has no right whatsoever to be talking to you in this way.

Really agree with this. 3 Months and he's got YOU doubting YOU and YOUR son. So much so you're asking a childminder???

My daughter is 12 and I hold her hand.

3 months, 3 years - he should not speak to you like that.

You've been alone 6 years, similar to myself. DO NOT settle for 2nd best. After just 3 months, your bf should still be bending over backwards to treat and spoil you, thanking his lucky stars he's going out with you and you've welcomed him into you and your son's life.

Jinx

mummy_Jay wrote: »

I got a lecture on how he couldn't stand my DS behavour, he accused him of being bad mannered, insulant and accused me of not controlling him, oh and I'm wrong to ask my ds his feeling on things like getting rid of his trampoline. He pretty much accuse my ds of breaking his ds things on purpose. Also that at his age according to bf he should be able to do his seatbelt up (something I've only just taught him in the last couple of months) and that he shouldn't be holding my hand when we walk down the street. (My ds has only just literally turned 6)
.

Lets get one thing straight.... if you are a lovely well mannered mother than I am 100% sure that at age 6 your DS is a lovely well mannered child....:D And why wouldnt you ask his opinion, he is a person in his own right - he may not be able to make the ultimate decision but he does have feelings obviously!

Please do not allow this person to make you doubt your parenting skills. I cannot believe the arrogance of this man - I feel miffed for you!!:mad: Im afraid for me, that speech would be the dealbreaker.

My DD and I would hold hands up to she was about 13 in a lighthearted manner and even now shes 18 we link arms, faff about and I twirl her round - harking back to when she was 5 - she finds it hilarious....:rotfl:

elfen

I'm 27, and a couple of years ago (after I had a breakdown) I'd still hold my dad's hand, more for security rather than anything else.

I do think your boyfriend is being unreasonable; is he trying to take over the parenting of your son or does he think he should be more like his DS?

sock-knitter

read this thread and wanted to comment, as a single mum myself, when i finally decided to start dating again, my now ex, decided my sons were always been naughty, delibratly to wind him up, he put me down and made me feel such a worthless person, that i was thankful to have him, one day, i was so upset, went to see the gp, and they sent me straight away for counselling, made me open my eyes and see what this man had done to me and my two boys. dont let this man drag you down ditch him.
on a slightly different note, i am with a new boyfriend now, early days, still, but we have met each others kids, and he held both his daughters hands when we first met, as they were shy, they are 7 and 9, i dont think there is a wrong age to still be holding hands. incidentally after the first 15 mins, the 9 year old decided my hand was better than her daddies lol, and she held my hand all day.
my boys held my hand, especially crossing roads til about 10 or 11, and now still link arms, if a road is exceptionally busy, or a place is really crowded

minimoneysaver

Why shouldn't you be buckling your son into the car and holding his hand? Those are safety precautions that as a parent, you should me making. How dare this man make assumptions about you and your son. I truly think that he is trying to push your son out. Maybe it's that your bf wants you to hold his hand and have you to himself. Disgraceful behaviour from an adult and totally unacceptable.

Becciboobah

Count yourself very lucky that he's show his true colours after 3 months and not 3 years. Children are amazingly perceptive and don't see using the old rose tinted glasses that we often use. It's easy to dismiss what such a young child can sense but it's usually pretty accurate. I implore you to get rid and get rid now, while it's relatively easy to do i.e. you've not moved in, ended up having a child together etc etc. Your son comes first and this prize prat has you doubting your own parenting and child.

shellsuit

Woah! If it was me who had been someone for 3 months and they told me they didn't like the way I was bringing up my child, I'd show them the door.

Your son has just turned 6 and this cretin hasn't a good thing to say about him? Who the hell does he think he is?!

Ditch him, you and your son deserve so much better.

shegirl

Now you know part of the reason you don't let kids meet a new boyfriend so soon!

Not only are there questions over manners and parenting there's the fact that this is all turning sour and yet after 3 months of being with this guy your son has already spent time with him and his son and will be left without a male role model and a 'friend' and will wonder about his mum who was 'happy' but now won't be.

Either sort things with your boyfriend (too early to be spending time with kids and doing so could be raising differences - differences you may have discovered otherwise if you hadn't had the kids involved) or get rid and next time you find a guy you like,no matter how caught up in the moment you get,please wait before he meets your son...I wouldn't do it until it was serious tbh

Good luck and I'm sorry it's looking like it may turn sour now.Have a little fun dating so you can live a little and remember what being in a relationship is like

meritaten

the alarm bell is now ringing loud and clear - hun, this guy wants you...under his thumb! thats the only way I can read what you posted about his reaction to your conversation about the kids. he sounds like a control freak to me. as long as everything is hunky dory and going his way - he is kind and charming...........when its not - its YOUR fault! you want to live the rest of your life pleasing him? do NOT give him the benefit of the doubt, there isnt any! YOUR son is a lovely kid, well mannered kind and polite and you have independent validation of that! do not let this man convince you otherwise. get rid of him is my advice!