Clutter and hoarding - help!

Curry_Queen

Savvy_Sue wrote:

Oh dear C-Q, what a state you're in! Keep on with telling yourself it's YOU your friend is coming to see, and why not warn her now that things have got on top of you? Maybe she'll give you a hand with a few things?

I know deep down she won't be the slightest bit bothered if the place isn't tip top clean and tidy, and yes she may well help me out with taking some stuff to the recycle bins and charity shops if I asked. Even better would be if there happened to be a local car boot sale on while she was here LOL! I'd feel terribly guilty asking though as this will be her few days off from a very busy job and she'll be travelling half way across the country to see me ... saying that if the roles were reversed I'd be more than happy to do that for her

But yes, there are people who will come in and help you, I've sometimes seen adverts down our local shops. Although I'm also doing a bit of lateral thinking here: is it worth asking your GP if he is aware of any 'home help' type services you could access? Or do you have a Social Worker? Because they might be able to help you access extra help. It's a shame you're too young to approach Help the Aged or Age Concern or anyone like that!

:rotfl: @ the Age Concern ... I might not be that old but I certainly feel it right now!

I haven't had any contact with my GP or support worker for more than 6 mths now so they don't know how bad things have got for me again, and I'm very reluctant to call either of them for various reasons. I'm not sure I'd qualify for any sort of "home help" as I remember looking into that when my leg was in plaster for 6 mths and nothing was available then, despite being completely immobile.

I think I'll be better looking to the private sector and paying for the services of a professional company to come in and help out, although I've no idea where to start looking or whether they'd be able to help with some of things I need doing. Even thinking ahead to when I finally move out, I know there are removal companies that will come and pack everything and move it for you but to be honest I think even they'd feel overwhelmed to know where to start

Just thinking for a moment ... most of my problem seems to stem from the fact I can't move any of the "junk" that I've decided I don't need/want anymore out of my flat so it's all sitting around in boxes making the place look even more cluttered than it should! For instance, I finally got my son's room sorted out a few weeks ago but now I have several items that need throwing out, plus a box full of stuff to recycle, sitting in the living room taking up valuable space. That's on top of the boxes of kitchenalia that I cleared out before xmas ready to go to charity. I ask my ex every week if he can take some of it away for me but he's always too busy and it took him long enough just to take 10 black bags of clothes to the recycling bank for me despite driving past it every day :mad:

It doesn't help that I've got so much stuff to start with, a lot of which could probably be sold or sent to charity (I'm only holding onto it for sentimental reasons, although some of it is fairly valuable) as I moved from a large 4-bed house with garage and sheds into a tiny 2-bed flat with no storage facility whatsoever. There isn't even a loft or cupboard I can stash anything out of sight. I've still got some furniture, a chest freezer and all my outdoor/garden stuff in storage, which fortunately isn't costing me anything, unless the ex has sold it all off :rolleyes:

And I seem to remember you have a 12yo son at home? If I'm right, I know it's hard but make sure he helps you with the day to day stuff.

Yes, he still lives here with me and he is pretty good at helping out when I ask him. I don't like to put too much on him in the way of housework as he already runs all the errands for me, and it's his job to put out the rubbish every week as I can't manage heavy bags on the stairs. He is basically my primary carer, which is a lot for a 12 year old to take on, and when my middle son was in that position he resented having to do so much for me (was also one of the reasons he moved out) and often throws it back in my face, so I'm always wary of asking too much of my youngest now.

Oh! Are you a council tenant at the mo? If you are, contact your Housing Officer and ask if she can get you any help: I know it may sound daft, but your support needs should be assessed and help found for you.

No, I'm in private rented but I've recently applied to the local Housing Association for help with re-housing, as this place is totally unsuitable for me and is actually causing my health to suffer rather then get better. I'm still awaiting a decision as to whether I'll be placed on the waiting list and I have no idea how often property becomes available here. Other than that my only option is to rent privately again and I thought I'd found somewhere recently, but it turned out that the agents had made an error with the room sizes on the webpage and it was actually smaller than what I'm in currently, plus there was no outdoor access with the only entrance door opening directly onto the street again, which is no good for me, plus they wanted £200 a month more in rent!!!! :eek:

Good luck, we'll all be rooting for you! Well it's got to be better than sorting out our own messes, hasn't it? :rotfl:

Thanks! ... it's always good to have a distraction from our own messes and is one of the reasons I spend so much time on here LOL! I've always said that if I spent half the time doing housework that I spend online I'd have a sooper dooper clean home, but it's not all about time (I got plenty of that!!!) it's having the energy and motivation to do it also

BTW, a friend came round the other day with several large carrier bags of things surplus to her requirements which she thought I might like to sort through to see what would be useful to us at work, and what wasn't useful to go to the next Scout Jumble Sale. Well, I managed to not only do that, but also do a 'shoe cull' of the porch and part of the hallway! One bag of stuff gone into work, four bags waiting for the Scouts! Result!

Excellent!!! :T

It does make you feel better when you achieve something like that, no matter how small. I think maybe I should invest in one of these cross shredders as that would solve the problem of the mountain of paperwork I've got, which I can't just throw out cos of ID theft etc, and maybe it's time I also shredded all my college and uni work as the boxes of files are taking up a whole shelving unit in my bedroom that I could use for something more essential ... it will kill me to do that but what on earth do I need to keep them all for, some of which are more than 10 years old!!!

I feel a bit better having got it all off my chest now, so thanks for listening, and apologies to anyone I've bored with my rambling

elona

Curry Queen

Could you phone a couple of the charity shops and explain the situation - perhaps someone could collect stuff.

Could you phone Social services and see if they know of a way to get stuff collected?

Best of luck and take care of yourself :grouphug:

Curry_Queen

elona wrote:

Curry Queen

Could you phone a couple of the charity shops and explain the situation - perhaps someone could collect stuff.

Could you phone Social services and see if they know of a way to get stuff collected?

Best of luck and take care of yourself :grouphug:

Thanks

That's certainly something I need to check out and I know of one charity at least that will collect, for example, large items of furniture if you ask them, but not sure about boxes of smaller items. The problem is that most of the charities are based some distance from where I live and I'm not sure they'd come as far out as me to collect anything, but I can certainly ask them. It may well be that they wait till they have a few items to collect in a certain area and do them all together or something

elona

Curry Queen

Could you absent mindedly put smaller items in bags and store inside larger items of furniture that are about to be collected?

At least it would free up some space (and if you forget about that and they get picked up anyway it is no loss)

Curry_Queen

elona wrote:

Curry Queen

Could you absent mindedly put smaller items in bags and store inside larger items of furniture that are about to be collected?

At least it would free up some space (and if you forget about that and they get picked up anyway it is no loss)

Heh, d'ya think i've not already gone down this route

I don't actually have any "furniture" to get rid of at the moment (apart from an old broken wardrobe that would be better off at the tip but is still jam packed with clothes and boxes!) but I do have an extremely large vivarium that I want to sell (not something a charity would take) but I can't as it's also jam-packed with boxes and bags of stuff that I shoved in there out of sight after I re-homed the very large snake that used to live in there

It also needs dismantling to get it out of the flat and down the stairs, as it was built in situ, so would need to be emptied in any case :rolleyes:


I've a feeling I'm a lost cause

seese

I wish I lived next door to you,I love clearing out.
I also have different methods for different occasions!
I used to encourage the children to clear their rooms by allowing them to drop anything they didnt want out of the window,that was always a success.
Have you considered hiring a skip?Put a note on it saying help yourself.
Contact the local scouts and ask if they would like to make a few trips up and down the stairs for a donation.
All the best with moving I hope you get what you need.

Curry_Queen

seese wrote:

Have you considered hiring a skip?

Great idea and something I wish I could do but I'd have to apply to the LA or Highways dept for permission, not to mention arrange suitable lighting and public liability insurance etc as it would be on a very busy public street (shopping area), even if they allowed it anyway, so not really a feasible option

This is also a major stumbling block when it comes to putting out rubbish for collection as the rules are such that only black bin liners are allowed (no cardboard/boxes/household rubbish) with a limit on how many can be put out, and they can only be placed outside after 7pm on the evening prior to collection (usually around 6am) or heavy fines are levied. On occasions when I've forgotten I've had to keep the bags of rubbish in my kitchen for an extra week and there's barely room for the 2-3 bags we generate over a normal week anyway (I cheat and tear up boxes to put in the bags sometimes )

Anyway, I've decided to make a start by making a list of the most urgent stuff to do, and also set a time period of 10 mins or so to complete each task. I also remember reading somewhere about labelling 3-4 boxes as keep, charity, sell and throw away (or something like that) and I'm going to email a couple of charities this afternoon to find out if they can collect any of the stuff. I'm also going to write out a card with a few things to sell and get DS to take it up to the PO when he gets home to stick on their notice board. I don't know why I didn't think of that before actually :rolleyes:


Thanks for all your suggestions and support :A ... it really has been a great help, if only to re-focus on how I can tackle this sensibly instead of panicking over trying to do it all in one go. Guess I'm a bit of an all-or-nothing kinda girl and I need to re-think my approach

Savvy_Sue

Oh good CQ I'm glad you've had a few thoughts on where to start. You're right about your son, it's not fair to put too many demands on them, I just don't think it's unreasonable for my layabouts to do the washing up!

I wish I could think how the people who come in and help you declutter describe themselves. Life laundry? I know there are people who'll do anything you can't / don't want to. Next time I'm in the local shops I'll scan the ads and see if it gives me any ideas of what to google for. You could advertise, of course, but there are risks in that.

I carefully filled my boot with Jumble and drove it round to the Scout hut tonight, and they weren't there! Grrr. If I can't catch them later - got to go out again - I'll email them and ask them to pick it up! It's now five bags - I found another stash of grown-out-of shoes...

Savvy_Sue

seese wrote:

I wish I lived next door to you,I love clearing out.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Watch out, you may get trampled in the rush. :rotfl:(Feel free not to answer that question if you'd rather not!)

Some good ideas there: hadn't thought of using the window to clear the boys' bedroom ... I'm sure the youngest would love a shredder as well, at least until the novelty wears off.

elona

How about phoning environmental health people and explaining the problems that rubbish collection etc is giving you and "that it is affecting your health"

Maybe they could think of something?