Clutter and hoarding - help!

dag_2

I live in South London, and I need help with my clutter. I can't find stuff, and I'm falling over stuff.

I don't need someone to tidy up my flat. What I need is support, so that I can take control and keep it tidy myself. I take this very seriously - so I don't need anyone making fun of it, or putting me on How Clean is Your House. It's like a circus freak show to me.

I'm interested in hypnotherapy, and cognitive behavioural therapy, preferably from the NHS or a voluntary organisation. I'd also be interested in support groups in the South West London or Surrey area - does anyone know of any?

If no support groups exist, I might try setting one up myself - can anyone advise me on this too?

Thanks.

Savvy_Sue

No, but if you find any services in Bristol I could do with some help myself. Mr SS is currently unable to find the paper counterpart of his driving licence, which he swears he put in the right place, but it ain't there now. There are about 101 piles of paper to look through, plus he has a selection of briefcases in which it could be lurking ... and we need it by Saturday because we're off to France, hiring a car, and I really didn't want to do all the driving! Oh, and did I mention that he is away Monday night and Thursday night so not around much to help me look?

Maybe we need an MSE "Tidy the House" buddy system?

Just thought: some people were finding The Fly Lady's approach helpful, maybe you would too? Although the recommendation is NOT to sign up for the emails as they will completely take over your inbox!

raeble

I hoard as well, I'd be willing to join an mse support group. I joined a couple of groups on yahoo - one thing they had was to tackle an area for five to fifteen minutes a day, move whatever should be there out of the area and put it in it's proper place. Everytime you buy something throw something else out. Try and throw out at least five things a week - second hand shop, bin etc. I am starting to throw things out - chucked a pair of shoes in the bin that had been very worn down that I would have normally kept.

chardonnay_2

sorry no advice about support groups but have a few tips

if you haven't worn something for a year chuck it.
if you find throwing things out hard ask a friend to help (as they won't have attachments to the clutter)
do a room at a time
buy a shredder makes getting rid of paper fun!
get 4 boxes and label them keep, dump, charity/car boot/ ebay, mabye

the keep box shouldn't contain too much but should be important or sentimental stuff you can't part with.

dump box should be broken/ old tat you couldn't sell or give to charity

charity/carboot/ebay- make some money from your clutter - go to a car boot if you don't have a car get a friend with a car to help. sell stuff on ebay - people will buy anything on there. even try local free ads for bigger items.
then anything that doesn't sell donate to charity.

the mabye box should be items you think you will need again- date it and if you haven't opened it in 6 months then chuck it unopened.

hope this helps

bright_side

Not sure how much help this will be...................but I find I'm best off de-cluttering when I'm pre-menstrual. I'm far more ruthless about what I chuck out for some reason I've recently thrown out things I've previously hung onto for over 15 years. Feels good and I haven't regretted chucking anything yet!!

Nile

I'm a bit of a hoarder too, so I'm not the ideal person to advise on clearing clutter.

Regarding not being able to find things, that's not usually a problem in our house. We have ring binder files for the important stuff.

We have a file for House, inside are several clear ring binder pockets containing receipts and notes for work done on the house. There's info about roofers, joiners, plumbers etc.

We have a file for instruction booklets/manuals. Some manuals are smaller than the A4 sized pockets so they've been stapled onto A4 card so they're easy to read.

We have a fold out/concertina style file for receipts. With separate headings (Jewellery/Electrical/Clothing/Footwear etc) it's easy to find a receipt for goods bought.

Maybe filing your important documents/booklets/receipts would help you too?

Lillibet_2

Don't know how much this will help you but it's worked for me.
I hoard books. I find it physically painful to part with them. Which was fine when we could turn our spare beroom into a library but now we have a baby on the way & NO space to keep the hundreds (thousands??) I have acclumulated over the last 30 years. I have found it less painful if I don't just get rid of them but sell them, even of only for a few pence. I start off by listing them on Amazon for a set price, if they don't sell there after 2 months they go to a car boot sale & whatever we're left with after the car boot goes to a chairty shop IMMEDIATELY. I can reason that if I'm selling them we can put the money to greater good & even if they don't sell I have already decided I can live without them by this point & give them to charity.

HTH

dag_2

Lots of good advice, thanks. Mr SS's fella sounds just like me.

That flylady thing seems good - specific, too.

if you haven't worn something for a year chuck it.
if you find throwing things out hard ask a friend to help (as they won't have attachments to the clutter)
do a room at a time
buy a shredder makes getting rid of paper fun!
get 4 boxes and label them keep, dump, charity/car boot/ ebay, mabye

Thanks for the tips - but the trouble is, it's like yo-yo dieting. The tips work - but I tend to have one big blitz every once in a while, and nothing in between. Once I've made it tidy, I can't keep it tidy - and it goes round in cycles. So I think it's a mind thing, and I need some sort of talking support - faith healing, hypnotherapy, support groups, I don't know what.

I've had good experience of cognitive behavioural therapy for much more serious problems - so now I think I'm able to deal with the cluttering.

I was hoping for an in-person group, where a small bunch of people with mild to moderate clutter problems encourage each other, by going round each other's houses on a regular basis, and lavishing lots of praise on each other when something gets tidied - but not criticising anyone when it's messy.

I guess it's just the single living. When there are people about, and I'm not too tired, I can be quite domesticated. But my place is so messy, no-one can come round. And since no-one's going to come round, my place never gets tidied up.

Still - thanks for the suggestions. I think my best bet is to discreetly canvass the congregation of local churches, both for leads to existing support groups, and for potential recruits to my own group. I'll also mention it to the psychologist I've been seeing.

Magentasue

The analogy to yoyo dieting is good one. After years of decluttering spates, I know the drill but it's a battle to keep on top of things. Over the years I've come up with systems that help - e.g., a filing cabinet for documents like certificates and guarantees. I have a recycling bag near the front door for old newspapers and junk mail and put circulars straight in it. This reduces the piles of paper based stuff round the house.

I think you have to identify your clutter and cure yourself one step at a time. My house is full piles of paper/books/etc but I have the clothes under control because I now make myself wash, dry, iron and put away in the same day. If I didn't do that, I know the pile of ironing would grow.

If you know you tidy up for visitors - invite someone round!

savvy

Magentasue wrote:

If you know you tidy up for visitors - invite someone round!

LOL that's sooooo me!! I'm not toooo bad, it's mainly the kids, and very definately since I started work full time, I just don't have time to tidy up behind them. So I'm currently inventing some sort of system to keep them in check a bit more...............I think systems are the key, then make sure you STICK to the ones you found worked for you!
I'm also considering selling lots of junk on ebay (can't abide car boots, got bad memories!), I'm going to set myself a goal eg. getting money for a new camera lens, and then sell the junk to get that!! That way I won't feel bad/guilty about throwing stuff in the bin!! :rolleyes:
Good luck!

one-non-blonde

My name's One-Non-Blonde and I'm a clutterholic...

I had to move from a 5-bed house full of junk to a 2-bed flat last year... absolute nightmare. I still had all my school books, university notes, every bill I'd ever received, 9 years worth of kids clothes, toys, prams (3!), etc. Got rid of a lot but nowhere near enough. I had to leave behind the contents of the garden and shed because I had nowhere to put them. At this rate I'll end up on Life of Grime being paid a visit by health and safety officers cos I can't get out the door. I have to sleep on one side of the bed because the other half is ALWAYS covered in piles of laundry. Too cold and wet this time of year for car boot sales and I find Ebay really stressful, hard work (is that just me?).

One thing that did help me though: before I moved I got a chap round from a local household auction company who took a van load of stuff away (furniture and bric-a-brac). Once it was out of sight I forgot all about it and getting a £400 cheque in the post a few weeks later was a nice surprise.

However, today I gutted the kids wardobes and I put a broken hoover in the bin that I'd been tripping over for 6 months... now that felt good

One step at a time...