Newbie Here, Procrastinating

rak2

Hi, Newbie here!

I've know for some while that I needed to take drastic action regarding my finances, but I've been procrastinating.

About three weeks ago I "decided" to tackle it at the weekend and since then this is weekend no 3 and I still haven't.
However last week I had a call from my bank telling me I was way over my agreed overdraft and they had refused one direct debit already.
Since then I feel like I really have decided to sort myself out and have been reading these boards non stop, trying to help me pluck up courage.

I am scared, I have to admit it. I rarely open the post. I must have probably a years worth of post unopened, just lying around making me feel guilty every time I see it. And I see it all of the time.
The place is a mess. It's hard to clean with all of that stuff lying around.
I end up doing the very basics, washing, washing up, bit of hoovering then going back to bed for the weekend.

I know it has to stop.
I know I have to do something.
I have already felt better since I've started reading this forum, more in control .
I am going to do a SOA, but here are my predictions of my debts before I open the mail.

Egg 1500
Halifax 2500
MBNA 2500
Visa 2000
john lewis 800
M&S 800
Overdraft 1500
Total 11600

OK. Going to take the washing out of the machine, hang it up, put another load on and start opening a lot of post.
I may be some time.
Sorry to bore you :undecided:

jayn_3

Hi I can't offer any help, as I'm about 3 weeks ahead of you.

I plucked up the courage and rang national debt line 0808 808 4000 and just explained everything to them, I was REALLY hard to dial them as I felt like I was a failure letting myself get into this mess.
Anyway I told him my 'guestimate' Which is MUCH higher than yours, and he sent me an iformation pack-which stayed in a drawer for 2 weeks. The chap I spoke to was lovely and honestly I felt so much better talking to someone! I eventually went online and browsed the letters.

What I'm trying to say is that I am taking it a step at a time. I feel physically sick and have a headache every time I start to sort this out, but I have been trying to do just a bit each day and I allow my self to stop after 30 mins if I need to So far this week I have got to gether full details of all my debts. Rung 2 of the 5 creditiors and told them what I was doing, made a nominal £25.00 payment to each of them till I send in a budget sheet with a pro rate offer of payment, and I have just completed my budget sheet in full!

Yes I'm still in a mess but I have a clearer idea of what I'm doing now. So I've done my hour for today. I am too going to put my washing out, and then take the dog for a walk!

Sorry to go on for so long hope that all helps. It ain't easy, but I try to keep in mind that people really do have worse problems!
x

bottleofred

Hi Rak2 and welcome to the forum,

Once you have posted your SOA, you'll get loads of help and advice on how to save money that can then be paid towards the debts. There are many options available to you to start paying off the debts. I probably had 3 times as much debt as you at one time and actually thought I couldn't live without a credit card or loan, but eventually I realised I was using all my income to pay the minimum payments just to stand still. Once you've started to address the problem, it does get easier.

facing_up_to_it

Hi there, I think you'll feel a lot better once you've opened your mail and put in some sort of order. The deed will be done and you can stop being frightened of it and what the postman will bring. Opening the mail was one of the hardest things I did but now there isn't a single letter I don't open because I know what's going to be in there! Okay, it's not great news but it's better knowing than worrying about it most of the time. That's just in my experience. Once you've tackled the mail, have a cup of tea, give yourself a pat on the back - you're on the first step of the ladder to becoming debt free. A lot of people on here post an SOA and lovely people come along and try to pinpoint where you may be able to save some money. Get cracking with that mail and don't be frightened - believe me, there's not going to be anything in there that anyone hasn't encountered before! Take care and hope the washing dries! xxx

rak2

jayn wrote: »

Hi I can't offer any help, as I'm about 3 weeks ahead of you.

I plucked up the courage and rang national debt line 0808 808 4000 and just explained everything to them, I was REALLY hard to dial them as I felt like I was a failure letting myself get into this mess.
Anyway I told him my 'guestimate' Which is MUCH higher than yours, and he sent me an iformation pack-which stayed in a drawer for 2 weeks. The chap I spoke to was lovely and honestly I felt so much better talking to someone! I eventually went online and browsed the letters.

What I'm trying to say is that I am taking it a step at a time. I feel physically sick and have a headache every time I start to sort this out, but I have been trying to do just a bit each day and I allow my self to stop after 30 mins if I need to So far this week I have got to gether full details of all my debts. Rung 2 of the 5 creditiors and told them what I was doing, made a nominal £25.00 payment to each of them till I send in a budget sheet with a pro rate offer of payment, and I have just completed my budget sheet in full!

Yes I'm still in a mess but I have a clearer idea of what I'm doing now. So I've done my hour for today. I am too going to put my washing out, and then take the dog for a walk!

Sorry to go on for so long hope that all helps. It ain't easy, but I try to keep in mind that people really do have worse problems!
x

Thanks for this. It really does help to hear from people in a similar predicament, that's why I've been able to get to the stage I'm at now, even thought it's not very far.
I have now hung out the washing, put the new load on and got out 2 bin bags, one for stuff for shredding and one for other post. I totally understand the concept of doing a little at a time as it's very stressfull. As long as we are moving forward, I guess!
Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Sassers

Hello there - I just wanted to say you could have been me two years ago, and that I really do understand what you are going through.
I had the same problem with opening the post. 18 months of it to be honest. I used to kick it out the way when I came in through the front door. I used to recognise who was sending me debt letters by tearing off a corner so the logo would partly show - or from the address written on the back.
I took baby steps to sort it out because the misery I was in - I was recovering from a breakdown - I just couldn't stand feeling so awful anymore, and the post and general horribleness of my house just made things 100 times worse.
The system I thought of to help myself was baby steps. The first thing I did was put every unopened envelope I had into a crate. I even found post in the loo, the kitchen, on the stairs. I ended up with two very large crates rammed fully of envelopes. What I did next was sort them into date order in the crates. I then opened 10 at a time put them into piles to individual companies and had a break when I'd done this. It took me a week. Funny enough amongst all the carp, was also lots of freebie samples I'd been sent and quite a lot of vouchers for things. So there was a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, a few small but nice surprises.
Forward from 2008 to now - I still have a few days when I don't open the post. I give myself a bloody good talking to and make myself start opening it again. I'd say opening my post on a daily basis is one of my biggest achievements alongside my PAD, which you can see in my signature. It taken me two years to pay off the arrears which came out of the debt. But I'm fully into my debt and mortage zone now as I don't separate the two.
Being scared is horrible - but you can do it and I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs and support.
Love Sassers x

Ellieseleven

Hi Rak2 and welcome!

I'm 4 weeks down the line now and feel as though a huge weight has been lifted. I put off the inevitable for 12 months before going through the debt remedy with CCCS and making token payments to my CC's. This was totally alien to me as I had always one way or another paid everything and it was hard to admit that I couldn't cope any more!

It's still scary but I don't feel the huge pressure to find money that I don't have. Even after only 4 weeks in I feel much stronger and am glad that I have made the decision.

Opening the post is a huge step for you and once you have done this then you can put together a plan of action. As others have said posting your SOA on here will give you ideas where to save money.

Take everything one step at a time and then you will find that it's not as scary as you first thought:)

Good Luck and keep posting, as you say this forum really does help. I find that its my lifeline at the moment and keeps me motivated (and sane!!)

Ellie xx

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi Rak, i didnt want to read and run, you have made the right step :)plenty of support hear.. if its any help re unopened mail, when your ready to open it you will, untill that time comes put it in abox and move it so its out of sight that in its self might make you feel better dont feel intimidated by the letters, they can not hurt you no mini human will jump out and get you if it does have a shoe handy to flatten it remember you have take the first step and now you can vent on here and cchange the outcomes
Then maybe do a statement of affairs we can all help see what can be changed, and offer some advice not always fab but we do have virtual coffee and biccies which i might add are fat free
((hugs)) xxx

Sassers

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

remember you have take the first step and now you can vent on here and cchange the outcomes

You are so right :T what I realised halfway through opening the post was I was taking back control and it felt blooming wonderful.
love Sassers x

niccatw

I couldn't see my living room floor the day I decided I was sorting it all out letters! And I had cramp in my legs! And many, many cups of tea. And most importantly, my laptop by my side so I could freak out and rant on here! Once I got into the swing of it, I became quite anal and competative about it (I will open x amount of letters before the news comes on/the kettle boils/I'm allowed to got to the shop for cake...)

You made a great start by posting; that in itself is a scary, scary thing to do. And a huge leap because you know that once you've told every-one on the forum, you feel the need to come back and update every-one.

But that's what helps with the motivation! That and the fact that you are so definitely not alone! We're all at various stages along our journey, but I doubt any one of us will forget that mixture of absolute fear tinged with a sense of excitement becasue you are taking back the control.

Don't get me wrong, it's a hard task and it's only the beginning, but we're always here to help out.

I did what you are currently doing a few years ago, but only half-heartedly. I started again in February this year and was doing well for a while but I'm now having to look at it all over again because I stopped being so strict with myself for a few months. So it's baby steps... but they're in the right direction so I don't beat myself up too much.

However, Sassers is right; sometimes we need to give ourselves a bloody good talking too to remind ourselves why we started on this journey in the first place! (My talking too of the day is for procrastinating cleaning the bathroom!)

rak2

Guys, thanks so much to all of you for answering. I have a few tears in my eyes now, but not because I'm scared, I'm moved by your stories and it's making me think I can do this now.
I've had a bacon sandwich and some nutella (!) ( I eat in times of stress) then started opening post. I think I am about two thirds of the way through it now, most of it is either junk or old bills and because I really just want to look at the last few months, these are going to be shredded.

I've already noticed, even though I am just sorting out the post, that I have payment protection on one credit card, another is constantly over the limit so I am paying them £12 a month for this, my car insurance didn't get confirmation of my no claims so have charged me extra and I think I have two lots of household insurance. Sigh. All because I didn't open my mail. This is a hard lesson. And money down the drain.

Time for tea? I think so!

PS the oldest piece of mail I have discovered so far is Dec 08.