help me turn it all around

ailuro2

Even the longest journey starts with a single step.

Sit down and write down everything you owe.
Then write down a separate list of incoming money and outgoing money, including things like yearly MOT, birthday and Christmas gifts, socialising etc.

If they don't add up then you need to rebalance that. The folks on the debt free wannabe are wonderful for that.

Cutting down your alcohol isn't something you should do alone if you've been hitting it really hard, so maybe once you've got your finances sorted out and a plan made for them you could go to your GP and ask for some help. Get some help with the depression symptoms too - while a lot of it can be chemical there is usually a benefit to be had in reducing stress and taking more exercise, so sorting things out will help your symptoms from the outside alongside any treatment your GP has to offer.

Once your drinking is improving you'll probably find you'll lose weight anyway, but because you'll be feeling less stressed by then you migth be up for a bit of extra exercise with the kids during the day, or maybe just playing Wii fit to get you started in the privacy of your own home.

It can be done, but do it one step at a time instead of trying for the all at once method which rapidly becomes overwhelming.

You've taken the biggest step and that's realising that things could be better for you, and as a knock on effect, better for the whole family (I'm sure they want you to stick around for a long time, and being healthy will help them there)

flutterby_lil

Welcome like everybody has said - sending hugs to you. How old are your children. Start by tackling one thing at a time, it must be a vicious circle with the depression, eating, drinking.

Good luck and keep posting x

Oldernotwiser

Tackle the drinking first. Alcohol is a depressant, it's fattening and it costs a lot of money.

in_spired2

If you're not already receiving any help for your depression and other health worries, I'd suggest you see your GP, and maybe consider anti-depressants. Sorting out the depression will leave you in a much better place to think about dealing with your other problems.

When you're ready to tackle your weight (or before), take a look at sparkpeople.com. It's a free site, and loads of motivation and support there.

The other posters have offered good advice and tips like "flylady" too, and I'm sure you'll continue to receive more advice here.

Wishing you all the best

thegoodlifewannabe

thank you so much for the support everyone has been really kind i talked to my husband about how i was feeling and he admitted to feeling a bit overwhelmed too he likes a drink at night but where he will have a couple of cans i drink rum and quite a bit of it too. we made a promise to stop drinking together and also to cut out the takeaways we too have takeaways late at night and i know that is so bad that will save us loads of money really i feel really overwhelmed that there were all these things on top of me but with help from my family and doctor and you lot i feel i will be able to turn this around.
thank you everyone you have really lifted my spirits and made me feel a lotmore positive about things

i have started eating healthy this morn
brek special k and milk
dinner tomato soup and 2 sliceof hm bread
tea banana sandwich

and also alot of water the struggle will come tonight when the kids 2 boys 6 and 3 are in bed

Mrs_Imp

Hi OP. Don't be afraid of contacting AA. If you admit that you drink too much, then they can help you tackle it and will be able to support you as you cut back.

As you say, one step at a time.

pinkshoes

thegoodlifewannabe wrote: »

i have started eating healthy this morn
brek special k and milk
dinner tomato soup and 2 sliceof hm bread
tea banana sandwich

and also alot of water the struggle will come tonight when the kids 2 boys 6 and 3 are in bed

Special K is expensive and has a ridiculous amount of sugar in it. Try muesli!!

Also, you should try making your own soup, as it'll boost your motivation and make you feel happier, plus is cheaper than buying it.

Also, do you get chance to go walking much? It releases endorphins (feel good thingies) which will put you in a much better mood and make you feel more motivated. It will also give you lots of thinking time. You should try and do a 30 minute walk every day.

Teenie_D

Well done on taking the first steps, but remember small steps at a time.

What you have eaten today looks ok but you will need to make sure you feel full, personally I don't think it's enough and if you are hungry you will eat more or/and your metabolism will slow down. There are loads of support threads on here for dieting so might be worth while checking some of them out, but like I said before you should maybe be tackling the depression first before you try anything else. Good on you though :T

elfen

Keeep a big bowl of fruit where you can get to it (and make sure it's stuff you like) then keep that where you'd be in the evening, then you can snack on that. I have one in my front room and it's a godsend, if I'm peckish I'm more likely to go to the bowl than to the frdige as it's closer. Don't forget to get a bit of exercise in, even if it's a short walk to begin with, you can build up on it.

thegoodlifewannabe

you were right i didnt eat enough today im starving now im trying to do everything at once and its not going to work. iknew i drank quite a lot but now i know its a problem because i am really wanting some now does anyone know what an aa meeting is like cause i think im going to need it i cant believe this is me i really feel like ive totally lost myself thanks for letting me know about the special k im so taken in by adverts.

thank you all so much but i didnt realise how hard this is going to be:(