Confessing my debt to my family

Hannah_10

vyvyan wrote: »

No-one has ever had so much as a late library book in my family!

I hear you, mine can be a bit like this, but we're not all built to be nice conventional librarians, some of us do things differently. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, the exact same can be said of being a totally conventional rule-keeper- sometimes that doesn't work out either. (You should see my brother in law counting how many slices of Tesco Value ham his children can and can't have- because of the nice conventional mortage he took out, it's enough to make you vomit in horror... there's 96 slices in a big packet apparently, which means it can be divided into 3x32 with two piles frozen and used later and each pile rationed per slice/child/sandwich. Makes me want to shake him for his stupidity in not just renting instead).

We all make mistakes. Someone's got a signature here says "a person who has not made a mistake has made nothing" or similar. The more risks you take the more mistakes you make yes, but then again the more risks you take the more rewards you may harvest. Life on the straight and narrow all the way is dull. We all take risks, it's just a matter of how many and what kind. Getting out of bed is a risk, crossing the road is a risk, heck even putting on trousers is a risk (google the RoSPA stats for a laugh), I have yet to meet anyone who refused to take those. Most people wouldn't take the risks Steve Irwin did, or Captain Scott, or even Robbie Williams for that matter, ... but then most people haven't had the adventures they've had either. If you want a life free of all low points you better be prepared to cancel out all high points too.

We all get it wrong sometimes, 11k of debt is a fair bit, but it's not the end of the world. People get out of that all the time, there are lots here doing it right now who will support you. In truth you don't deserve anything but support because pretty much everyone on DFW is in debt... Hey hang on, pretty much everyone in Uni, buying a house, insuring thier car monthly, owning a credit card or not on pre-payment electric meters has debt too y'know. They can't guarantee they wont be struck by lightening and miss a bill payment next week can they. What was that about casting the first stone and being free of sin and all that!

Debt is a fact of life, not a flaw in your nature. It's also temporary and transient should you chose it to be so. It's part of the rollercoaster of life we all ride to a greater or lesser extent. The lows and the highs are a fact of life, no one lives on a level all the time (not even librarians). Cut yourself some slack here.

If you want help with that recovery plan we're here a'listening.

Sueb_2

I had to confess my debts to my husband - I thought it would split us up, I had no idea what would happen but I couldn't go on as I had. You have to do it - if people love you they will get over it - luckily my husband did get over it - it took time but we are still together, and although I was miserable for months whilst he got over it and we sorted out what I was going to do, it got done and I felt like a big weight had been lifted. Please realise it doesn't make you a terrible person we are all human - there is a way out. If you don't get help it will be harder. And use a non-profit making professional organisation for advice.
:eek: It was awful:
I was over £22,000 in debt as at Jan 2006
:T I have paid off over £15,000 and am slowly getting there

goingforward_3

Well i havent told my parents and dont intend to .. given my dad is in hospital recovering from his 6th heart attack i think it may not be wise to tell him of my huge debts and cause his 7th one lol !

sarah_walk

hi,you have made the first step by getting it of your chest telling very body on this forum(well done)and now you have to find the courage to tell some one in your family may be the one you are closest to and may be you should just let them know that you have some thing thats getting you down and let them know a bit at a time so its not such a shock to them.iam sure once you have got its all out in the open you will be glad that you have done it,because it me it sounds like you have got to tell somebody that will be there for you.we all understand so iam sure your family will.good luck.