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Confessing my debt to my family

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  • vyvyan_2
    vyvyan_2 Posts: 653 Forumite
    500 Posts
    I failed :(

    I couldn't go through with it :(

    I just didn't have enough courage :(
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    You'll get the courage at some point. It's all a step in the right direction so don't worry too much.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,396 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Ok

    So you tried.

    if it is too big to do in one go, can you split it down into a first step and try to do just that?
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • barbiedoll
    barbiedoll Posts: 5,328 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    It's always worth confiding in family and/or friends even if it just means that you don't have to worry when it comes to buying Christmas and birthday presents. 11K is not such a huge amount in the grand scheme of things and there's no shame in being in debt, everyone on here has a horror story to tell. If you can't talk to them, don't forget that you can let off steam here! :)

    As long as you're taking steps to deal with your debt, you shouldn't feel as though you have to hide anything, plenty of brilliantly clever, high achievers are in the same boat. Tell them in your own time, you'll probably be surprised at their support. Mind you, having said this, I'm quite happy to tell certain members of my family about my debt problems but one or two, I know would be quite judgemental so I've just not told them!
    "I may be many things but not being indiscreet isn't one of them"
  • vyvyan_2
    vyvyan_2 Posts: 653 Forumite
    500 Posts
    Thanks for all the advice and support.

    To be honest I feel totally rubbish at the moment.

    As someone said, I probably need a plan of action in place before anything else before just landing everyone with my massive problem.

    No-one has ever had so much as a late library book in my family!
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    vyvyan wrote: »
    No-one has ever had so much as a late library book in my family!

    The families that have no problems are actually most probably the families with the biggest secrets and lies. Says the person who has just told her brother this morning that their father may in fact not be his biological father.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • nanna58
    nanna58 Posts: 971 Forumite
    hey
    families are not only that but bessy mates too .Always there for you xxxxx
    form filler extrordinaire
  • https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2572903 I was (still am!) in the same situation, but from my thread the overall opinion was to tell them.
    I bottled out too, seeing them again BH wkd and I will try again, I just cant stand the thought of them being more disappointed in me.

    I know I should tell them, but I just cant seem to say the words.

    Good luck

    YDSM
    I wish I would take my own advice!
  • MFWannabe
    MFWannabe Posts: 2,455 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    vyvyan wrote: »
    Thanks for all the advice and support.

    To be honest I feel totally rubbish at the moment.

    As someone said, I probably need a plan of action in place before anything else before just landing everyone with my massive problem.

    No-one has ever had so much as a late library book in my family!

    Hi
    Have you made any plan of actions to help you become debt free? You may feel better if you post an soa on here so people can help you work towards the goal of becoming debt free. Then you can sit your family down and tell them and also tell them what you have already done to sort this out.
    Please don't beat yourself up over it; we've probably all been there at some point in our lives. I'm sure your family will be very supportive and also relieved that you have told them. They are pobably worrying themselves sick about what is wrong and thinking the worst.
    If you really can't tell them face to face how about writing it all down in a letter to them?
    MFW 2025 #50: £1139.75/£6000

    12/06/25: Mortgage: £65,000.00
    07/03/25: Mortgage: £67,000.00
    18/01/25: Mortgage: £68,500.14
    27/12/24: Mortgage: £69,278.38 

    27/12/24: Debt: £0 🥳😁
    27/12/24: Savings: £12,000

    07/03/25: Savings: £16,500

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