Confessing my debt to my family

vyvyan_2
vyvyan_2 Posts: 653
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edited 17 August 2010 at 4:27PM in Debt-free wannabe
I'm about to drive 100 miles to visit the folks and 'fess up.

Everyone knows something is 'up' and 'things have always been tight'

I am bricking it but I think it's got to be done I've kept it secret for so long but it's doing my head in :(



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  • Sunnylooloo
    Sunnylooloo Posts: 4,295 Forumite
    If your family are like mine all you will get is support!

    I know for a fact if they could they would bail me out - but I don't want that I am getting myself out of it and all I needed from them was some understanding and support which is what I have got

    Good luck and let us know how you got on
    The worst cliques are those which consist of one man ~ George Bernard Shaw
    Holiday Saving fund 2010 = £25.00 :DWeightLoss 2010 = +6lbs :(
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  • youll be fine, im sure you will feel better when its off your chest, never know they may help you out!:)
  • alona1
    alona1 Posts: 292 Forumite
    Good luck xxx
  • vyvyan_2
    vyvyan_2 Posts: 653
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    I am honestly not looking for a bail out. It is not the answer. I couldn't accept that sort of help without feeling worse than I do now. Besides I know they can't afford it so it won't happen!

    It's the understanding and support I desperately need, and to be able to share it. The risk is that it will become a worry for them too ~ different generation and all that.

    (£11k debt)
  • Angyles
    Angyles Posts: 121 Forumite
    Good luck! I felt so much better when I told my mum and sister, however my mum is now so worried about me, whenever I see her she asks about it so be prepared to for tears and lots of questions.
    Debt-Free Wannabe / Long Haul Supporter 238 - Proud to be Dealing with my Debts
    LBM Moment June 2010 DMP with CCCS Started August 2010
    Total Debt at LBM = £17,602.74 / Current Debt = £16,285.76 / Cleared = £1.316.98 (7.5%)
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  • Good luck vyvyan. I'm sure everything will be fine!
  • Go and tell them but my view is do not borrow off them to get yourself out of this mess, get out of it yourself and you will not do it again , well that is hope anyway.But they are your family all stand together through good and bad and you will always have some one close to talk to .
  • Vyvyan, your family might be cross at first - not just because you have the debt, but also because you kept it from them for a while. They will more than likely offer you the support that you need, though. I hope that everything works out for you xx
  • fatbelly
    fatbelly Posts: 20,198
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    Martin's advice seems very appropriate here:
    Many people hide their debts from friends and family or sometimes even themselves (by not opening statements or not totalling their liabilities). If that’s you, then it's time to come out of the closet. You can only sort your debts out if you know the scale of them. It may feel better not to know, but in the real world it makes things worse.

    For those hiding debts from partner, spouses, family or loved ones...

    Seek help, or work out an action plan first, so you're telling them about solutions, not just problems. It's easier to break the news if you can show you're determined to improve.

    It’s much easier that way and remember; if you're prepared to take action the question isn't "will I ever get through this?", but "when will I be through this?"
  • Silvafox
    Silvafox Posts: 321 Forumite
    Hope it went well, as I think anyone in debt has had to do this with friends or family.

    My dad always said to me, after a confession of a problem, 'a problem shared is a problem halved'.

    He was right!
    PMA - Positive Mental Attitude

    It works for me - you try it!
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