Changing our lives....

Sessie

Oh my back is SO SO much better!! My whole outlook on life has changed since I had it done, I feel like a different person. Before I felt "heavy" (which believe me I am!), just waiting for bedtime, really low mood all the time, and basically old. Now I feel happy, more awake, more "whole", more able to make plans and do things knowing I'll actually be able to carry them out. So that's what I'm doing! :j (I can even DO that avatar IRL which I haven't been able to do for years!).

Have brought two books into work so that's two things decluttered today!

Have brought the leftover pasta and chicken in for my lunch - so that's reducing waste and saving money.

Have almost finished the housework rota which I hope to keep to each week.

Have also been filling up a box with cardmaking stuff and craft stuff FOR ME (not the children) as I think I need a hobby and I've been interested in giving this a go for a while. Don't think I'll get to this until the nights are lighter and I can sit at the kitchen table when the children are in bed but I keep adding to it.

Mum and dad have already put in a re-order for the sloe gin for Xmas this year (as they've drunk nearly all I made) and I'm planning to make a lot more home-made things for presents (birthdays, Xmas etc..) this year.

I'm also going to have a go at making and decorating the boxes to put presents in - found a great site over on the Special Occasions Board (in the Tutorials topic) that looks good fun.

Just... feeling really good today for the first time in a VERY long time and needed to share!

x

pennywisepoundstupid

Really nice to hear that your feeling good and you seem to have a really positive outlook.

Sessie

Arrrgh! Kids!! Here I am trying to SAVE money and today they have:

(1) Emptied an WHOLE new talc all over the kitchen floor this mornng. It was like The Alps when I went in after realising they were a bit quiet.

(2) Put their sandwiches in the pirate boat we have outside. Which was full of rainwater.

(3) Pulled an entire loo roll off the holder and managed to get quite a lot of it down the loo before I came back into the bathroom from getting fresh clothes and towels etc...

Have decided to try the grocery challenge thingy this month. Am not officially doing it on that thread just yet, want to give it a go myself first. Will just keep a note of exactly what I spent on groceries (am not counting nappies as part of this and I don't need to buy any toiletries probably this YEAR!!) and at the end of the month see what it is. Our main problem is we are about 4 miles from the nearest supermarket but we have a Co op garage really close which is HUGELY expensive but if I'm on my own and Mr Sessie is at work I can't drive so it's the only place I can go if we run out of milk or bread or whatever. Then when I get there I see other stuff and... uh.... well, I cave and buy it even though I cringe at the price!

So, on that note, I spent £22.43 in Tesco yesterday on cat food, bread, milk, a pasta meal, garlic bread, apple strudel (we had company last night), bananas and some biscuits.

Phoned the Council as their website was really unclear (about the possible needing a pass to go to the tip). Their answer was: if you go in your car you don't need one, if you take a trailer or a commercial vehicle you do. Well, duh!! to the last one, of COURSE if you're a business you do but what if you have quite a nice car (not a new one, but one you've kept nicely!) and don't want to put bags of rubbish in the back of it???! Grr... anyhow, will have to see if I can get some stuff in bags in the next week or so and maybe put some sheets down in the boot and get them off to the skip. We have loads of stuff in the garage to get rid of. It's getting so full in there and we only had a clearout about a year ago.

At the weekend, Mr Sessie and I raked the garden, cleared all the leaves, cleaned the decking and the patio and washed the children's outside playhouse and all the contents inside. The latter has been under a tarpaulin all winter so had got a bit musty and we just wanted everything nice and clean for them to play with.

Today I took the children for a nice long walk. First they walked and we went to the park where they had a good run around, then I put them in the buggy and walked about a mile or so to where we have a sweet factory that has a shop attached to it. They sell HUUUGE bags of sweets for RIDICULOUSLY cheap prices - occasionally some stuff is out of date or broken but it's absolutely fine. On the counter they had some of those big plastic jars that you used to get in old fashioned sweet shops that had the boiled sweets and sherbert in - for 10p EACH!!! I didn't have the capacity to carry many as I had the double buggy and it's quite a way, plus my back isn't yet back up to full strength so I've asked mum to get me some tomorrow (as she is coming for the day) on her way to my house. I'm going to use them for pasta and rice, I might even put cereal in them depending on how many there are when she goes tomorrow. So there's my bargain of the week I think! :T:T.

Might also be a useful thing for me practice my crafty stuff on, making the labels for them. Am planning quite a jam-a-thon (*that may not actually be a real word!) in the summer and wanted to make some really pretty labels and toppers for them so I can give some to people. I might also put some in hampers for Xmas but need to check how long they'll keep for safety. I'm sure jam lasts much longer than six or seven months and if I make it in June/July I should be fine giving it for Christmas.

OK, I'm going to work on the FINAL housework rota. I want to get it posted here and also send it to work to print it out and stick it up in a couple of places in the house too. It may not work out but it's a start and I can note where I've found things too much in a day or where I've had scope for more. Now that I'm feeling so much stronger with my back, I'm really keen to get on with sorting the house out - both decluttering and getting into a more regular routine. Before I had my back done, it was a case of "do as much as you can whilst it only hurts kinda bad because when it gets REALLY bad you won't be able to do anything!". This year I'm hoping that if I keep on top of things I'll be able to spend a lot more of my time (when I'm not at work) doing fun things with the children, making crafty stuff and painting/playing outside and going places, rather than having to stay at home and work in the house.

Finally, thanks for your kind words Penny.

x

Sessie

Just a quick one so I keep the habit of posting, don't want those big time gaps any more!

Today I have:-

Stuck all the Daily Mirror tokens (had 38!) onto paper and chosen the free books for the children (the paper has been running an offer for the last few weeks, printing tokens every day - need two per book so have ordered 19 for them little ones! Postage just £2.70!:j), filled in the form, bought postal order and sent everything off as closing date is next Friday. Took copies of everything and have made a note in my diary and phone to check when the 12 weeks (12 weeks!!!) time for delivery is up that we have actually received them. Also remembered to tick the "no, I don't want to hear from a thousand different companies after this so if you pass my info on I'll send my daughter round when she's in one of her moods" box).

Washed up, dried up, put everything away (we had company again last night so had to leave it all til this morning), washed all the tops and windowsill.

Put a load of washing through, dried it, folded it and put it away.

Walked back to the shop to get 8 more of those old sweet jars, washed them out and put the rest of my pasta and all the cereal in it (there was TONS of cereal as I bought lots a few weeks ago due to good deals).

Put the recycling boxes back in the garage as soon as they had been emptied and put everything from the kitchen that needed to go in, in!

I changed, dressed, fed and gave drinks to both children, fed the cats, made coffee for Mr Sessie, made my bed, tidied and made both cots and got today's toys out before 7.30 am so it's been quite a productive day really!

Am at work now, almost finished my shift (5 mins to go!), just going to go to bed and read a bit (have a couple of glossies - Good Housekeeping and Woman and Home, lots of interesting decluttering info and motivational stuff in them this month) with cup of tea as I'm too tired to do anything else. I would LIKE to watch the last episode of Marchlands which I recorded last night but by the time I get home and we get the children to bed etc... I'll be too tired.

Tomorrow, hoping to go to a play centre with the children that has inside and outside areas and also a small animal farm. If it's too cold we may go to Eureka! again as we have another few weeks on our free pass which we got last year. It runs out in May so may as well make good use of it.

We also have one for The Deep in Hull which the children LOVE but parking in the car park and getting to the entrance is a NIGHTMARE as the wind coming across the water is HELLISH. Last time we went I lost the buggy and it blew Boychild off his feet. For this reason alone I think we'll be avoiding it until they are really steady on their feet.

Right, one minute til hometime so adios for now!!

x

prophecy_grrl

Hi Sessie

I started reading your diary last week and have just gotten up to date. I just wanted to say thanks for motivating me x

I have a little boy who's 2, and I often feel that I don't spend enough time with him. It's nice to know it's not just me. Also, I applaud you - I'd probably be in an asylum if I had to run around after 2 toddlers all day!

Keep posting your epics, I love reading about your progress and it motivates me (I cleared 2 kitchen drawers last night after DS went to bed!)

Take care

prophecy_grrl

Sessie

Grrr. VERY annoying, came on a bit earlier and did a nice long post here and somehow lost it... again!!

Aaaaanyhow...

Got quite a lot done in the house yesterday. Girlchild was having yet another whingy day so by 9.30 am it was, "let's distract her with a nice bubbly bath". This worked until we got out when she started whining again and sat, halfway down the stairs, complaining about everything we did - "you're cleanin' the BATHROOM waaaaahhh.. no more cleanin' the bathroom... you're making the BEDS.. stop making the beds..." etc... We did manage to:

Clean the bathroom, put all toys from bath away after rinsing.
Tidy nursery and make up cots, open blankets up and hang them over the cot bars, spray with Febreeze and leave to air whilst the window was open.
Hoover the whole of upstairs.
Wash down the paintwork - windowsills, doors, handles etc.. (with a lot of help from Boychild who LOVES cleaning, Girlchild still on same step, "you're cleaning the DOORS now.. why are you cleaning the DOOOOOOOORSSS!?!?!")
Put folded washing away.

Washed up, dried up and put everything away, bleached all the kitchen tops and cursed as I still haven't bought a tray for the cat food bowls to go on as I'm SICK of them making so much mess on the laminate floor!

Went out to Mr Sessie's mums (nice time) and then to his grandmother's (AWFUL time) - where Girlchild, overtired as she'd refused to have a nap all day, was just wilfully naughty and we had to leave. Got home and neither child would eat a SCRAP of tea so we managed to stick to our threat of, "no dinner, no pudding" and they had nothing. Put them to bed at the normal time, thinking they'd wake up in the middle of the night hungry but not a peep out of them and also, there was no screeching (Boychild) and crying at said screeching (Girlchild) this morning so, there's my answer! Stop feeding them!

Whilst tidying upstairs, managed to throw quite a bit of stuff away which is helping the decluttering.

This week I'm hoping to take their old highchairs outside (at the back, where the children can play whilst I'm doing it but not get out anywhere dangerous) and give them a really good clean and then get my sister to put them on Freecycle. The garage has become a work in progress for me, I want to get five things each week out of there as it's become such a dumping ground it's hard to get to the recyling bins some weeks!

Am off work next Monday and will be going to all the cheap/pound shops/Boyes etc.. to get myself a load of card/crafting stuff so I can start my little hobby. I'm looking forward to it, I think it will take me out of myself a bit.

I know I was going to write about "It's OK" but am on lunch at work and can't right now, but I will!

x

Sessie

Oh my goodness this is a self-indulgent post but please forgive me.

I have just had a go at making a box - I just used a piece of paper to see if I could actually do it and it was easy peasy!! So next week when I'm off I shall be adding some nice coloured card to my "new hobby shopping list" to make a load of these to give people their birthday and other presents in!!

I made this --> http://nicholeheady.typepad.com/capture_the_moment/2007/05/1.html

(scroll down past the first bit where she's talking about new stuff she's selling on her site).

So I'm sitting here with this half-folded bit of raggy paper that's not even folded quite evenly as I have no ruler - I just kinda guessed most of it but IT WORKED!! If I had the right stuff, a big ruler and some glue to stick it, this is SO darn EASY!!

I have told most people that they will be getting so much more handmade stuff from me this year rather than me buying something over priced from the shops just because it's "the done thing". Now I have the design for what I can put the presents in. I have quite a lot of pretty papers I've got free with card making magazines and could also buy tissue papers and stencils etc.. to pretty them up or personalise them... ooh I'm getting all excited!!:j

Naturally I will need to make some bigger boxes as that one's not very big but that won't be a problem!

*feels ridiculously proud of herself, has never been handy in any way*

:T

x

Sessie

Will edit this into a more epic-like post later.

Have now got a tray for the cat food - and then my dad turned up with another one! Still, his is nicer - has a pic of a hedgehog and a rabbit and a cat on eating dinner so will use his for now!

Have done SIX loads of washing in the last two days, including my bed linen. Will do the childrens' next Tuesday.

Have hoovered upstairs, cleaned the bathroom (full clean), done an online shop and received it and put everything away, clearing out old/out of date stuff (of which there was not much as I'm being more careful about using stuff up lately!).

Took the children to a local Wacky Warehouse on Wednesday BY MYSELF!!! The three of us had the place to ourselves for a while which was fab!! Spent nearly THREE HOURS there - walked round to Tesco afterwards and as soon as we went through the door into the warm, they both fell fast asleep so I had time to trawl through the crafty stuff there and got a good lot of stuff very cheap for my stash. :j

Have completed the Census thingy and put in pre-paid envelope for next time I'm passing a postbox.

Had my medical for the life insurance on Tuesday afternoon and got the dates I needed from my doctor to fill in the Questionnaire they had sent. Am at work now, having copied it for my own records and put it in the post to go out on Monday. Need to arrange for Financial blokey to come over one night to finish sorting out pensions.

Had my ironing done by a local lady - something had to give with the housework etc.. as I'm just NOT finding time to do everything so it was the ironing!! I hate doing it anyway and she did it for a good price, took it at 9.30 this morning and brought it all back, beautifully done at 2 pm!! SO worth the money, will be doing this again. Am sick of the basket being in the kitchen with ever-increasing amounts being put in it and never finding the time (or energy!) to do it.

More later.

Sessie

Went into town yesterday, posted the Census off.

Had a free coffee with a voucher I had and then went to a Lancome counter and got 7 days worth of free foundation from a voucher I found in Marie Claire the other day.

Renewed my library books (paid £3.00 fine, naughty me, as they were a bit overdue!).

Took TENS machine back to the hospital and put a thank you note in it to the lady at the Pain Clinic who was really nice to me.

Did a little practice at card making etc.. when I got home before mum and dad brought the children back, goodness it's harder than you'd think to cut things out and make flowers and lay backing paper on straight and get edging to attach right ...!!

Am at work this morning and need to cook this afternoon as we have the usual weekly company tomorrow night. Got some knockdown meatballs in a tray (not tinned rubbish!) from the Co-op last week so they'll do in some kind of sauce and veg. Will prob do enough for tea tonight so that's that sorted!

Going to stick my neck out here and make a PROMISE! :eek:

"I will post my draft household tasks list on here by the end of this week"

Now THAT should focus my mind!!

x

Sessie

Urgh... feeling pretty bad tonight, emotionally that is.

Found a topic on another board on this site about someone having problems with their sister-in-law, very similar to those I posted about earlier in this thread somewhere. Brought it all up again in my mind and I started thinking about asking SIL to meet up, with PILs to try to thrash this out once and for all.

Thing is, I just KNOW she'd sit there, all sweetness and light and deny there's any problem and that she didn't say all the things she HAS said and then I'll look like the bad guy. I mean, THEN what would I do? I don't want to EVER be her friend or anything, no matter how things turned out if we DID have such a meeting, I don't think I can ever forgive her for the damage she has caused, I just want it out in the open WHY she is being such a cow, why she is so intent on edging me out, making me the bad person in all of this when I have done NOTHING to her. I just... need to understand why.

Then again, I worry that she (or her a55 husband, Mr Sessie's brother, who neither of us have any time for, though he is NOT responsible for her actions on this one) will say something that will just make things worse and we'll end up having another HUGE row and ... oh what a mess.

Anyhow, I was discussing all of this with mum today on the way home from work (half day for me today) and she asks whether I think I need counselling about all of this!?!? I was FURIOUS! Me? Me who hasn't done anything needs the counselling but SIL doesn't?? Apparently, I should just "let it all go", "forget about it" and "move on". Few thoughts on that:-

(a) WHY the hell should I?
(b) HOW can I? It eats away at me, it comes into my head at some point almost every day. I have to check whether SIL is going to be at the in-laws before we go on a weekend, whether she is going to be there when we visit other relatives. I can't just go and be civil if she's there, I have my children to think about. Firstly I'd be lying to them by being one way to her face and another when she's not there and secondly, children aren't stupid, they'd pick up on it and it would only be confusing. Finally, I'm not risking that one time - and it WOULD happen - something was said and it blew up. Im not prepared to have my children witness or become involved in this, it's nothing to do with them (although actually I think it's a LOT to do with them .. and SIL's worry that my children might "oust" hers in PIL's affections).

So I have all this stewing in my head - it has been pretty much since it happened which is almost three bloody YEARS ago ... and then mum saying it's ME that needs help and to cap it all, Mr Sessie - who HAS and I mean HAS been totally supportive throughout this and has said I should do whatever I need to do and he will be behind me - says that whilst he ACCEPTS that I feel like I do - so impotently angry and badly-done-to and unable to let it go - he doesn't understand why. He says that I don't give a damn about her (true), we don't now and never will see anything of her (true) so why am I letting her bother me? I see what he's saying but she DOES, the whole thing DOES bother me, it upsets me greatly to be wrongly accused and for the PILs to be siding with her. They say they're not but at the time they did and things are just "cordial" now, on the surface you wouldn't know anything had happened but it's one of those big elephants in the room all the time and I hate that she has done this to us all.

Do any of them think I actually WANT to feel like this? To not be able to let go? That I WANT to have this simmering resentment inside me all the time? No. No I don't but I can't help who I am and how I feel and this IS how I feel. If I've done something wrong then I will admit it, I will understand why someone is funny with me but when I've done NOTHING and someone is trying (and to a great degree succeeding) to destroy me and my family's relationships then damn straight I'm boiling about it. Is that so hard to believe?

So.. after all that ranting I'm no better off, I can't do anything to change things but I also can't change how I feel about it the way it is now.

Don't know what else to say. Just had to get it out somewhere safe and uninvolved in it all. Sorry guys.

x