Birthday presents/cards not received - do you still send?

hngrymummy

I'm embarrassed to admit that I regularly forget peoples' birthdays, even my parents'.

By now most of my friends are aware that it's not deliberate and not because I don't care, it's because I'm scatterbrained. I will be getting myself a birthday book soon so that I can attempt to remember (and an address book so that when I do remember I can send something). We all tend to stick with Christmas cards/presents now as it's easier to remember 1 day than several.

Kate78

**confuzzled** wrote: »

I've had the same problem in the past. What I've done ,and nothing has ever been said, is if they miss mine then they get reduced to a card for the 1st year and if they miss it again the next year they get sweet FA..I don't have the time/money to be going buying/making people presents that aren't going to be appreciated..I don't even get Thank You's:mad:..I know I'm only 26 and sound like a right old biddy but I was always brought up to say thanks, whether thats through a card or a phonecall..its common courtesy:mad:

Hope that helps anyway:) and sorry for the mini-rant:o

Yep, that's exactly what I do, "demote" those who forget.

Most of my friends now it's just cards anyway, that's totally fine. The only time I'd get them a present or expect one would be if it were a "landmark birthday" or if they were having a big bash that I had been invited to.

"Love only those who love you" - can't remember where I first saw that but it's sooo true. :T

SailorSam

The cards may have been lost, or they may have had problems you don't know about so i'd give them the benefit of the doubt and still send another, once maybe twice but after that their history.
I had a fall out with one of my sisters last year but still got birthday / Christmas presents for the kids and her and her husband, when i went at Christmas she came out of the kitchen with my card but no prezzie, obviously one out of a box and just written. I'll still take things for the kids but she's written herself off.

TeetersOnHeels

I'm an only child, with a mum, uncle and godmother the only family I have (plus my wonderful DS who will be 16 in Oct). I have a few close friends, one of which comes from a large family. This friend and I have exchanged birthday cards for the last 10yrs or so, but for my last birthday she bought me a present, saying she knew I never had a huge amount of cards/birthday presents - and to thank me for helping her out at work this last year...
It's her birthday next month, and I will be buying her something - more to say 'thanks' for being a great friend.
I have another good friend who lives some distance from me, who always forgets my Birthday. I saw her for lunch on my 40th, and she didn't twig until we'd ordered our meal lol !!! But I still consider these two people to be my friends - wether they remember my birthday or not.

OrkneyStar

lilian1977 wrote: »

Answering both comments together as they're kind of about a similar thing. My close friends and I have always given each other gifts, there's never been a "well we're adults now so let's stop" thought in our heads - saying that, I'm 33 but many of my friends are still in their 20s. I wonder whether it's something girls continue to do but boys don't? As I know my OH doesn't get cards/presents for/from anyone except family and me.

As for the grandchildren question - it's an interesting one. I stopped receiving money from my aunties (grandparents have all sadly passed away) I think when I left home, I still get a card sometimes from the ones my parents are really close to, but to be honest I'm not that close to them. However, as I get older I'm starting to realise the importance of sending thank you cards and letters, and also birthday/christmas cards - especially to older relatives. I don't send thank you cards to friends but will send a text or a Facebook message to thank them if I haven't seen them in person.

I think it's definitely a generational thing - as I get older it will probably become more normal to just email or text your thanks due to technology and eco-awareness, and the younger generation will probably do that too. As for the generation below that - who knows what technology will change!

I just don't see the point in more 'things'- I'd much rather spend time with someone, chat to them, help them out when they need it, than buy a gift on a certain day! Just me lol! (For the record I am a female!).x

Brighton_belle

hngrymummy wrote: »

. I will be getting myself a birthday book soon so that I can attempt to remember (and an address book so that when I do remember I can send something).

Beware! I got one of these thinking 'what a great idea'. But I forget to look in it!:rotfl:

ixwood

Cards are a bit old fashioned. I think once you're an adult, I think Partner and immediate family are about the best you can hope for.

rach

I am usually very organised but have never really got a card system that works right for me. Best I've come up with is writing them in red on the calendar. We really only send to family now, and children. In terms of presents, we buy for some and not for others, e.g. DH's sister & family don't do birthday presents and after 3 years of us sending £15 cheques or whatever I vetoed it as they don't send us anything. I know that sounds harsh but don't think they expected anything- they don't send their parents anything either (think as BiL has a big family so they just don't). But DH's brother and SiL we do get stuff for/from. We have a bit more money than them so tend to get them something a bit more, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest!

I do think once our baby is here we'll cut down more though and as more kids appear in the family we'll buy for kids not adults. DH couldn't care less if he never got another card or present in his life!

mrbrightside842

Just send a text. It's the thought that counts!

carolinejane_2

MrWriter wrote: »

I reuse birthday cards by carfully tip-exing the name and replacing it with that of my friends. Win win, but not for my friends.

has anyone ever mentioned to you that they have noticed :eek: