Birthday presents/cards not received - do you still send?

red_devil

if they arent going to bother then i probably wouldnt back.

pinkshoes

Just because someone doesn't bother sending you a card doesn't mean it should alter your decision to send them one! If you like them, send them a card!

I would question the definition of "friend" if they can't remember your birthday with even a text!

balletshoes

For OP - I would still send a card to someone who had forgotten my birthday. I don't send any adults pressies on their birthdays (unless its a big birthday, 21st, 40th, 50th, 60th, 65th etc), just a card (thats all I expect in return, even a birthday text is fine to be honest).

I don't remember ever sending my granny or grandad a birthday card - in fact, I don't even know when their birthdays were :cool:. Same with my aunts and uncles I'm afraid.
My DD doesn't send a birthday card to my mum off her own bat - I buy her card when I'm buying mine, she puts her own message in it, and they get sent off together.

cloverfan

i am a single parent to 6 children and dont always have that much spare cash laying around! what little i do have i would like to spend on my own children, my BIL and his wife have 3 children now aged 8,15 and 18. They have a huge great house and new cars all the time, are always on Fb showing everyone their holiday pics......for the first 6 or 7 years i bought their eldest 2 presents and cards for both birthday and xmas, mine in return got a card each for their first birthdays......and nothing since.....after the 6 or 7 years i was told dont buy for the kids anymore as we dont be buy for yours as there too many of you, still i plodded on with cards for everyone every birthday never missed one, even when me and the ex split, and then a couple of weeks ago they had 2 birthdays within a week of each other and i was in looking at cards for them and i realised my kids have had nothing from them or FIL for years (not after material things just to know they thought of the kids would be nice(BIL kids all got tv's for their birthday mine got nothing)) and so i didnt but i didnt send..........and i feel soooooooo guilty....

*Louise*

I would just send a card. Might make them realise they forgot yours and feel a little guilty

If you just didn't bother, there are people who would be annoyed that you had 'forgotten' while conveniently not remembering they hadn't sent you anything.

All kids in the family will stop getting gifts at 18 (except on special birthdays) but we have a while to go yet.

Mind you - MIL tried that with her SIL - stopped after the kids were 18. Unfortunately the SIL's kids were older so as soon as the last one was 18 and the gifts stopped, she stopped returning, even though MIL's kids were still in their early teens. Some people, eh :rotfl:

iris

Firstly I must apologise to the OP for hijacking their thread, but thank everyone for their thoughts and suggestions.

I hope I am a young Grandma, but it hurts when I don't even get a 'thank you' on Facebook (yes, I am on Facebook and post birthday wishes to my grandchidren on the site). As my DH says, there really is no excuse, as they are on FB every day, several times a day.

I am loath to stop sending cards and presents (mainly money), as I feel I will lose contact completely and I really don't want that to happen.

We don't live in the same area as our family and I think this is a lot of the problem.

Do people in their 20's not send Christmas cards either? After all Christmas is the same date every year.

Again thank you all for your suggestions.

lilian1977

Thanks for all the thoughts everyone. I probably will still continue even if it's just a token gift - for a while at least. Then we'll see!

It's interesting to read everyone's responses - more please It's a bit of a funny subject especially with kids - I'm in training for all this to come! I wonder whether as an MSE person I find it easier because I plan much further ahead, get cards/presents in sales etc and make a lot of lists? This year on my OH's mum's birthday (we were seeing her after work for dinner) I asked him if he had her present with her - he hadn't even remembered to buy her one! Cue frantic shop in M&S for a necklace He won't be told though! Me, I've got boxes of gifts for Christmas up in the loft that I've had since January...:D

lilian1977

iris wrote: »

I am loath to stop sending cards and presents (mainly money), as I feel I will lose contact completely and I really don't want that to happen.

If that's the reason then I still wouldn't send any money now they're older - but still send a card? At the end of the day you can only stay in touch as much as the other person wants to.

LilacPixie

Card only. We have reduced ours to a txt message to be frugal. TBH a card goes on the window sill for a few days then into the recycling bin so ther eseems no point

lilian1977

LilacPixie wrote: »

Card only. We have reduced ours to a txt message to be frugal. TBH a card goes on the window sill for a few days then into the recycling bin so ther eseems no point

I agree with the sentiment of this - it does seem very eco unfriendly and pricey to give cards. I think I'm just old-fashioned and like to get them This is why I got the birthday card organiser - I tend to get the 10/7 for £1 offer in Card Factory and otherwise I'd just lose them!