Stay married or not?

justjohn

Phone the council...since you are married and registered at that address, you may be just as entitled to the tenancy as he is. If thats the case then it makes life alot easier for you. just a case of changing the locks whilst he is out.

suelizab

When he takes his son away then pick up important documents and walk into a police station. They will find you a safe house i.e via womens refuge . They inturn will help you find another home so that you can start living again .

Pixiechic

You can ring them, the number will be in your phone book or you could look up your area online and get the number.

Is there a time or a place that you could ring the council without him being around?

ailuro2

keltar wrote: »

Gets angry (hasn't hurt me, just pushed me & pulled my hair), broke a light fitting, my hairdryer and threw my laptop. I'm not sure how to take this anymore.

I'm scared of him & don't have anymore savings left

Go, before he does something that really does hurt you (or your daughter)

So it's not sensible just to run off in the night in your bare feet, but use the time you have while he is away with his son to get in touch with women's refuge etc.

It's not about keeping the car etc, it's about finding a place of safety and getting you and your kids to it.

SailorSam

I've done voluntary work in the past and i know from meetings i've had with Womens Aid they'll tell you violence starts with small things and grow. At first it may only be a control thing, then the pushes and pulling of hair, so don't tell yourself he hasn't hurt you. If you weren't hurt you wouldn't be asking for advice here.
Think of the safety of both yourself and your new daughter and get out while you can, the money you've spent has gone and you'll never get it back, if you stay you'll probably lose more. As others have said go to speak to your local Womens Aid they'll have come across others in the same situation and will give you the best advice and help.

zoenryansmummy

hun get out now while you can, he is a controlling bully and you deserve soooo much better. I've been there, my ex never physically hurt me but i felt undermined and worthless all the time. he walked away from me and the kids last year and now im so much stronger and happier than i ever thought i could be, I manage just fine on my own!!! you can to i promise, do it for yourself and your little girl, you both deserve so much better!!! huge hugs hunni xxxx

keltar

Thanks everyone. I've spoken to my mum, but it's difficult as he's almost always around. In some ways I can see why he's angry; he used to be house proud, and I'm not the tidiest person. Plus I've nowhere near regained my pre-pregnant figure. I'm breastfeeding & insatiably hungry - he keeps digging at me about buying chocolate, but I can't help eating it when down .

jinky67

keltar wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I've spoken to my mum, but it's difficult as he's almost always around. In some ways I can see why he's angry; he used to be house proud, and I'm not the tidiest person. Plus I've nowhere near regained my pre-pregnant figure. I'm breastfeeding & insatiably hungry - he keeps digging at me about buying chocolate, but I can't help eating it when down .

DO NOT dare blame yourself for any of this...that is how people like him operate.....putting you down till you believe them and think no one else will ever want you

this is ALL his doing

threemuttleys

Thats no excuse for treating you like something he has stepped in, if you are caring for a young baby, then housework is bound to slip. So, you havent got you pre preggo figure...guess what, many women never look like they did before they got up the duff..and if you are BFing, then of course you are going to be hungry, he should be supporting you, not bullying you

Honey, you need to get out, if not for your sake then for that of your baby

Pixiechic

keltar wrote: »

Thanks everyone. I've spoken to my mum, but it's difficult as he's almost always around. In some ways I can see why he's angry; he used to be house proud, and I'm not the tidiest person. Plus I've nowhere near regained my pre-pregnant figure. I'm breastfeeding & insatiably hungry - he keeps digging at me about buying chocolate, but I can't help eating it when down .

Hi Keltar,

You can't solve this situation by blaming yourself because this situation is not your fault. He is a bully and will sadly always find a way to beat you down. Nothing will ever be good enough or you will never be good enough. When you get free of him and are no longer scared, you will see just what a coward this 'man' really is.

The child benefits should be in your name and going into your bank account. He hasn't got access to your bank account has he?

I really hope that you get rid of this guy for you and your babies sake.

Take care