A child in need

simon4amiee

DX2 wrote: »

What a lovely father! shame you are having so much hassle.

thank you so much it does mean a lot, especially after this year, this thing wastheicing that put me off work for 3 months with stress and depression, in one year we have been evicted by nasty jealous EX friends, my wife suffered he 4th misscarriage, lost he job, bills mounted up, and i lost contact with my son, im sure ive missed something, but now ive turned a corner, im positive i will see my son again, he alwways tells my mum he misses me, and cant wait to see me, i start a degree in september, and life doesnt feel so hard now, onwards and upwards, it couldnt get worse anyways lol

swingaloo

From what you say, she is the one on dodgy ground. You have plenty of right on your side. Keep calm, document everything and let the process take its course. It took us nearly 18 months and he didnt see his daughter for a full 15 months.

Its really important that you dont hand any more cash over though. The fact that she has been 'blackmailing' you will not go in her favour. At some stage in the process you will both have to do a written statement. In our case she wrote that my partner paid maintenance 'as and when he wanted, and never on the right date'. What she didnt mention was that he had NEVER missed a payment and as for it not being paid on the right date - its was often paid a few days in advance due to her sending texts asking for it early!
We had a reciept for every payment and on 5 occasions in the previous 12 months she had had the money paid into the bank early.

They will lie through thier teeth but come unstuck in court. We couldnt get legal aid and as the court case is always held near the resident parents home it cost us a bomb but we would do it all again. The stupid thing was that the year it hapened we were supposed to take her to Florida but the money went on the court case instead.

Good luck, stay strong and remember, there are loads of ex's out there who put thier own hostility before thoer childrens happiness.
Just be proud that you are not one of those. When the child grows up he will have a clear picture of how both parents behaved.

notsayingaword

DX2 wrote: »

Of course he could have gone and signed the BC at the time, giving him PR.

Only if they were married at the time. If they weren't then OP doesn't have parental responsibility (unless they subsequently married). OP's son was born before December 2003 when the law changed re parental responsibility. Both my ex and myself signed our son's birth certificate (we weren't married) but that didn't give him automatic parental responsibility - he had to apply for that.

simon4amiee

can facebook entries be used in court or at the mediation process, I have 100's of examples of bad parenting and threats towards me, all from her site, I have a log of all maseeages going back to 2008 as does my wife, and now adding her facebook pages to them would give a exact account of the last 3 years.

gratefulforhelp_2

A judge may allow it, but would probably be reluctant as the problem is proving who actually posted it. FB info has been used in court as a part of the evidence.

SwipernoSwiping

Child maintainance as paid by our long suffering op, does affect such benefits as Job Seekers and Income support.

Facebook may be used in court, It has been used in American courts. Realms of relevancy would apply of course ( is it her account - in her name etc -- and does it apply to the case in question, does she have proof of being else where at the time of posting...)
Proving who posted it would require some IP searches and undoubtedly problematic getting facebook to cough up that information, again working with the Internet Provider and Facebook should provide that in the end. Whether your solicitor deems that extent is needed would be something for you to discuss with him.

Patience by the tonne will be needed as this slowly chews the system for you, it's not a matter of luck, merely who's evidence base is thickest, "saying something is one thing, in court proving it is the decider.
All the very best!

swingaloo

When you go to court the judge dosnt sit and read through all the documetation you take with you. The decision is based mainly on the outcome of the Caffcass report. You will have to make a witness statement as will your ex. You can mention the Facebook thing in your statement.

You put that there are 100s of threats against you on Facebook and that it worries you that your child may have access to the computer and see them. Anything which makes her look childish or vindictive must be mentioned in your witness statement.

A couple of questions,

Are you going to the court alone or do you intend to use a solicitor?

Have you got to the Witness Statement stage yet?

Are Caffcass involved yet, how far along are you?

simon4amiee

I am to attend a mediation meeting on XXXXXX with XXXXXX, I again stressed that I fear for my saftey, but would do anything to quicken the process.

I am at this point putting together a huge document to take with me, this includes all instances where she has been irresponsible as a parent, and includes all the threats made against us.

I will only be using key points within this document to defend my actions, and raise my own concerns regarding my sons welfare.

I have her full history on Facebook posts etc, my saved texts, and my wifes saved texts, copied onto Word, and statements made in this will make her allegations look stupid, and prove finally I am a good parent, and only want to see my son.

Depending on the mediation, where all I want is to go back to normal with my son. I may decide to alter my stance and try for full custody, (just a thought at his point), I have proof of her bad parenting (ie, endless swearing, drinking behaviour, times to bed, times missed school drops, times she kicks off, times she slags her kids off, times she is proud of her kids swearing, the list is endless, every 2 words is effing this effing that),

I have accusations from my son who told my parents, he was pinned up against his bed by his step dad recently, and put in a bin in the past, and cnstantly smacked by both for menial events, people have seen my son on his own knowhere near his home , i have evidence of threats and violent conduct by her to me and my wife, he has been hospitalised twice by his siblings, one serious, and 2 reports of intimidation lodged with the police.

He gets interigated every time he goes home as to what I have said or done. I have not finisled my research but will let you know my finidings in due course.

If mediation fails it will then be the process of the court yes, I am in regular contact with my solicitor, as is she by wrongly accusing me of being a violent father.

swingaloo

I have accusations from my son who told my parents, he was pinned up against his bed by his step dad recently, and put in a bin in the past, and cnstantly smacked by both for menial events, people have seen my son on his own knowhere near his home , i have evidence of threats and violent conduct by her to me and my wife, he has been hospitalised twice by his siblings, one serious, and 2 reports of intimidation lodged with the police.


In all honesty, reading that I would go straight for custody.

simon4amiee

Will he have any weight in court other than a cafcass officer as he will be aged 9 then, he is desparate to see me, but isnt allowed, yet I have nothing stopping me seeing him other than his mum saying I cant, its all gotten out of hand to be fair.