How to cope with friend's pregnancies

Js_Other_Half

My best friend rang me to tell me that she was 10 weeks pregnant - she knew we were were having fertility tests, etc, and I'd already had a laparascopy earlier in the year. One of her other friends had guessed, and she didn't want me to find out from someone else.

I swear blind the room spun when she told me, but we managed to have a long conversation regardless - I then went downstairs to my husband and sobbed on his shoulder for the next 20 mins.
As it was, they had their baby at the same time we were being told that although the IVF had worked, not to get our hopes up...

However, as you can gather, our baby decided to stick around, and I'm godmother to her child. You are not alone in feeling ambivalent about seeing your friends get pg - lots of women find it difficult.

Good luck with TTC.

katglasgow

I have just MC at 10 weeks, I am struggling to cope with everyone arround me falling pregnant or has a new born at the moment too and people seem to be constantly asking "arent you going to have another one". I promise never to ask someone that question you just never know what is really going on in someones life do you.
I am glad to hear about your good news JS and I wish lots of good luck to other the other ladies who are trying.
xxx

Bargain_Rzl

Just wanted to say hugs and good luck, and that one of my friends conceived naturally at 35 after 5 years of trying and lots of gynae problems including endometriosis - she's due in two weeks' time. So it may take a while but don't give up hope

Becles

Js_Other_Half wrote:

May I ask how old you are? My GP told me to come back to him after TTC for 6 months. I would have another word with your GP if you are over 30.

I've just turned 31, but was 30 when I asked for help.

I also saw the !!!!!y female GP who I don't like, and she wasn't very sympathetic and dismissed my concerns to be honest. I was thinking about going back and seeing the other female GP (who I was booked in with but she was off sick that day!), or one of the male GP's who is very nice and understanding when it comes to "womens stuff".

Magic_Dragon

I know how you feel. I had a miscarriage :A recently and one of my best friends is 7 months pregnant, and I constantly see babies/pregnant women. It can be really hard at times not to get resentfull.

Hope everything goes well for you. Try having a look at these forums for support, I found them really informative and it helped to type things down to get it off my chest.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/community/

snoogiewoogie

I know how you feel we've been trying for years and finally when we decided to adopt I suddenly got pregnant!

Everytime when I was told the happy news by someone I was just falling apart! It's horrible and it will hurt!

big hugs chick!!!

pickle

It took me two years to conceive so sometimes it just takes a bit more time. Have you tried the ovulation sticks which detect when you're ovulating? They didn't work for me but they do for some people and you can buy them at the chemist.

emma_b_4

hi
i just wanted so say i kind of know how you feel. i found out i was preg in march, my sister in law was preg, my best friend was preg, my next door neightbour was pregnant and so wer about 3 other friends. i found out at a scan at 15 weeks i had miscarried. it wasnt easy coping with the "so ru trying again then" or even "well it was for the best" comments (that was for the best apparently as it was a suprise pregnancy)
my nephew was born 5 days after my scan.
my neighbour gave birth 2 weeks later.
it seemed every1 was pregnant all around me it became like a mini obsession with pregnant women for me, and we were desperate to get pregnant again.
it consumed my every thought.
after 4 months (i know thats not long at all) of trying and every month convincing myself i was preg and then not being, i decided to take a step back. we have brought our wedding forward and get married in 5 weeks. i no longer constantly think of getting preg, although i would love it to happen once we are married.
since having my MC i have had placement thru uni (im a student nurse, child branch) was sent to childrens ward, neonatal ward, baby room of day nursery and most recently surestart

all i have seen is babies babies babies and it has been a nightmare at times

i dont think there is a set way to cope with ttc and watchig others around you announce pregnancys. i just smile and say congrats, then usually go quiet and reflect on my loss for a bit..
friends have also told me how hard it is to tel me they r pregnant. that has helped me a lot, knowing that, and i try to be honest with them now. i cant cope with moaning conversations about bn preg, one person said she wasnt happy we had brought wedding forward as she would be preg, unable to drink, i simply said you dont know how lucky you are.

i used a forum on https://www.babyloss.com for a while, there is a board ther esp for ladies / couples ttc it really helped me cope thorugh some hard times

thinking of you and sending baby dust xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

funky-footprints

Hi honey .. huge hugs to you. I can totally sympathise with you as we have so many friends in the same boat !! I luckily?? History wise i dont seem to carry well i and have had three losses, currently on th pg but hoping for healthy one beginning of next year. My 2nd loss was molar so we had 9 months of routine check ups before anything was allowed to happen and although it was only 9 months ...everyone around us seemed to be getting pg during that time and it hurts like hell !!

regarding YOU ....... you are doing something a lot of people avoid and that is having the tests !! If you knew the number of our friends we have, who delay finding out the WHY , yet live month for month waiting to find out it realy is enfuriating.

We have two sets of friends currently on clomid. The one couple are going nhs route and the waiting list is now down to 6 months for those tests, and the other couple went private and and it cost them £1600.

Our one friend went in for her laparoscopy (sp) a fortnight ago after having her bloods a few weeks ago .....she has never had periods. She is now on her first course of clomid, her dh doesnt even have to have his tests until they find out if this course works for her . Our friend who went private successfully conceived thier son first time and now are on clomid for a 2nd time round ..so there is light huney.

huge hugs to you .try to be brave and be proud of yourself that you are doing something about it, and thier is a success rate.

At 26 you have time on your hands which many people dont.

xxxxxxxxx

lisaann72red

Just wanted to say lots of hugs, it is really hard I remember only to well the feeling I had when anyone told me they were expecting . It was like a punch in the stomach and I carried the feeling around for a long time. Every single soap opera seemed to have a pregnant woman in, every book I read .it felt like a conspiracy your not alone lots of people are in this situation talking might help. We tried for 4 yrs as soon as I gave up hope and stopped thinking about it so often IT happened and all I can say is it was like winning the lottery. I now have 4 lovely kids tucked up in bed . All I can say is my heart goes out to you although I feel sure you will have that Lottery winning moment when you are least expecting it. xx